Monkeys in Space: Almost

Disclaimer: Due to the author’s sense of humor, those without one should skip this article.

True Story

Sometime last month (between August and September, 2011) the primates of Iran were in mourning. What was supposed to be a small step for monkey, a large tree swing for monkeykind, ended in tragic failure. Now, all space monkey programs are on hold, indefinitely.

Recently, it was learned that Iran had attempted to send a live monkey 75 miles into space for a 20 minute orbit. Soaring into history inside the Kavoshgar-5 rocket, this little squeaker was going to show the world that Iran was that much closer to either putting a man in space, or launching banana hurling chimps at America. But something went wrong – terribly wrong. (Click here for the news story)

Old Story

What amazes me is that it has been over 52 years since NASA sent 2 monkeys, Able and Baker, into space (May 28, 1959). Both survived. Miss Baker even went on to live to 27 years while staying at the Huntsville Space and Rocket Center in Alabama.

NASA went on to send even more monkeys into space. The lessons learned from these missions were invaluable to the growing space program which ultimately put men on the moon in 1969, just ten years after the first monkey went ballistic (pun intended).

Now we have Iran attempting to do what we did 52 years ago (without Windows 8), and they still failed. How depressing that must be! How embarrassing for the poor little dessert monkeys! Surely they are wishing they could defect to a Western zoo about now.

Advanced Griping Standards

So, I couldn’t help but think about something. We all know that Iran hates us, correct? I think I know why. We have more advanced griping skills. Let me explain.

Since 1969 Americans have been without excuse for failure. Since then there have been unbelievable advances in every kind of technology known to man. Why? Because whenever there was a need, all somebody would have to say was, “We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t…” Here are a few examples of how that would sound…

  • We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t make an fast-cooking oven?
  • We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t make a cordless telephone?
  • We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t have more than 3 television stations?

You see, all someone would have to do is throw out that “man on the moon” thing and genius would be shamed into action. I just can’t help but wonder if that is why Iran is always in such a bad mood. Is this why they hate us so much, aside from supporting Israel, and all? I mean, when you stop and think about it, they can’t even elevate themselves to the same level of complaining!

  • We can put a man on the ……..wait…….
  • We can put a monkey on the ………no, wait…….
  • We can kill a monkey strapped to a bottle rocket, yet we still can’t find a cure for camel bad breath?

There’s just no comparison, is there? No wonder they are so far behind. No wonder they hate us. We’re 50 years ahead in griping standards!

The Greatest Standard

But when it comes to standards, there is one that we all fall short of – the holiness of God. We can look at our own achievments and compare them to others, but how do they compare to God? We can compare our righteousness to the deeds of our neighbor, but how do we compare with God?

“Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I am the LORD your God.” – Leviticus 20:7 KJV

“Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.” – 1 Peter 1:16 KJV

We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t save ourselves. We can do great and wonderful things, but we can’t achieve holiness. The heart of man is “desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). The only way we can truly be “holy” is when we “put on Christ” (Romans 13:14). Then, and only then, can we rise to our full potential, for we can “do all things through Christ.”

 

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Courageous: A Review

Could I recommend anything more highly than going to see Courageous?

Sure…here are a few examples:

  • Breath and exhale on a regular basis.
  • Take a potty break at least once a day.
  • Eat nutritious foods and drink hydrating, non-addictive fluids, if possible. But if none of these are available, feel free to eat McDonald’s chicken nuggets and swig down a tall Coca Cola product…you don’t want to starve.
  • Call your mother on Mother’s Day.

Other than that, I can’t think of too many things I would rather you do, especially if you are a man, than go see this movie. It is THAT good.

It’s a Wake-Up Call

From the people that made Facing the Giants and Fireproof comes a movie that should challenge every man to become the courageous leader he was meant to be. Much like a wake up call that resembles ice water in the face and banging trash cans at 0400 (that’s 4 am), Courageous will make any father worth his salt re-evaluate some things.

I will tell you, I was in tears for part of the movie, laughing in another part, tense in three parts, and under conviction the rest. And guys, when you take your wife, make sure you sit a seat away if she startles easily. And if you haven’t been the best husband, you’d better be prepared to make a change. You’ll know if you see her using napkins covered in popcorn “butter” and salt to wipe the tears away from her eyes.

It’s Worth the Ticket Price

Was the acting as good as can be found in an Oscar-winning motion picture? Probably not. But everything else was on par with anything Hollywood and it’s hedonistic values can pump out. Now that Sony has been putting some money into the production, the Kendrick brothers have been able to create a much higher quality product. So, don’t be fooled by critics into thinking its going to be a lame, evangelical, low-budget Church flick. It’s worth the price of a ticket in an HD theater.

Plot?

When it comes to the plot, I don’t want to give anything away you don’t already know. It’s about policemen, Mexican workers, drug dealers, death, life, and how a real father, not just a one-night-stand-er, can make a difference. It’s about modern day dads making a resolution to be “courageous.”

Favorite scene? Well, let’s just say it has to do with a chicken sandwich, waffle fries, a milkshake, and the Snake Kings.

A final thought. Even though many will still think of this movie as “preachy,” all because it promotes a solid message without resorting to sex, profanity, or any other Hollywood mainstay, one thing remains the same: the Kendrick brothers have not lost their focus. Just look at this quote from the end of a critical review in the Seattle Times:

[The] bigger message might be that the Kendricks haven’t sold out, “gone Hollywood” or watered down their beliefs to reach an audience beyond the faithful.

And God bless them!

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, General Observations, Life Lessons, Movie review

Even Though It’s Monday

No Time Off 

Many preachers/pastors take Monday off. I don’t. I can’t. So, Monday mornings around 5 a.m. I am getting ready to greet the dark with a smile.

This morning, like many Mondays, the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed. I just wanted to stay covered up and deaf to any alarm that dared wake me.

Then, after getting up and on the bus, a thought crossed my sleep-deprived mind – even though it is Monday

At Least I’m Not a Toy Monkey

No, I am not a monkey. Specifically, I am not a 25-year-old puppet monkey named Buddy. I am human…a man…a divinely created person. I am not a synthetic, stitched toy with a hand up my…well, you get it.

Even though it is Monday, and I have 2 weeks worth of work to do in 5 days, I am loved by God. Buddy the monkey is only loved by 3 people, maybe 4 or 5, depending on the mood of the day.

Even though it is Monday, and burdens weigh heavy on my heart, I do not carry them alone. Buddy, even though he has no burdens, has been secluded in a box more years than he has seen the daylight. Buddy doesn’t understand pain or heartache, but neither does he understand joy, love, worship, or fellowship.

Even though it is Monday, I was created by God. Buddy was made on a Chinese sewing machine.

Even though it is Monday, I can praise God for another day. Buddy, a toy monkey, knows nothing about praise. He’s just cute.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Genesis 1:27

“LORD, what is man, that thou takest knowledge of him! or the son of man, that thou makest account of him!” Psalm 144:3

“This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” Psalm 118:24


			

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In the News, 10/06/11

Steve Jobs shows off iPhone 4 at the 2010 Worl...

Image via Wikipedia

Steve Jobs – Dead

Steve Jobs – What a great example of how someone can take an idea and run with, make billions, and still make the world a better place. He will be missed. The sad thing is that no matter how much money you make, it won’t buy life.

A fellow blogger (The Seeking Pastor) mentioned this morning how that when he learned of Jobs’ death the thought crossed his mind, “I never prayed for him.” That was convicting, for neither did I. But right after that, the thought crossed my mind, “And even with all his riches and technology, he couldn’t live a day longer.”

The Psalmist said, “My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass”– Psalm 102:11 NIV. The wealthiest among us are no different than the poor. Let this loss be a reminder to us all that “death is no respecter of persons.” I hope Steve was ready. Our condolences to his family…and Apple.

Wall Street Protests

What a  great example of people who protest and complain without having the slightest idea what they are doing or how they’re being used.

The irony of all this is that they decry Wall Street and big corporations, but then rely on the very devices created by the genius of capitalism (i.e., iPhones, Blackberries, and iPads) to promote and transmit their vitriol .

I love what Herman Cain said about these people, “Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself. It is not someone’s fault if they succeeded, it is someone’s fault if they failed.” AMEN!

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2011/10/05/2011-10-05_herman_cain_to_occupy_wall_street_protesters_if_youre_not_rich_blame_yourself.html#ixzz1a0bWF2ag

Obama’s Job’s Bill

Oh, the irony is getting deeper.

Steve Jobs dies…People without the jobs they want protest the people who make jobs…President Obama promised jobs, and promised jobs, and promised jobs.

It seems that the only sure-fire way to create jobs is to raise him from the dead. Maybe Mr. Obama will suggest that in his next (one of a thousand) job-creation news conferences.

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Technology Smechnology

The Old Days

Do you remember the old days? “Which old days?” you ask. The old days when a “cell phone” was what a wealthy, white-collar prisoner might have. The days when a telephone had a cord and an actual dial. The days when if you missed a number when your finger slipped, you had to start all over (God forbid it was a long distance number).

Do you remember the old days of cell phones? Do you remember when the coolest thing on earth came in a bag and had a 6 inch antenna? And oh, it had a cord, too. Those days were not that long ago.

I remember the first cell phone I ever used and where I used it. It was in a Ford Racing team truck. It was attached to the floor of the truck and had a spin dial. It cost 25 cents a minute.

My first cell phone, back in the “old days,” was a bag phone. I could barely afford the minutes, so I didn’t use it much. On the other hand, I would drive down the road at night with the receiver up to my left ear. The buttons on the handset were on the outside, so the green glow could be seen by passing motorists. They only thought I was talking. I was way cool.

The greatest thing about a cell phone back then was the fact that one didn’t have to stop and use a pay phone. No one even dreamed about surfing the internet or emails. Most people had never even heard of something called GPS. For crying out loud, we weren’t too far removed from the “science fiction” flip phone communicator from Star Trek!

The New Days

Forget Star Trek. Captain Kirk would have been speechless if he had possessed a true Android. Spock would have become emotional if handed an iPhone4. Now, even the most technologically advanced iPhone 4 (my phone) is being relegated to the “has-been” stack of old technology. But geez, how much technology do we really need?

Today the iPhone 5 will be revealed. As of this writing, I have no idea what it will be like. Do I care? Well, maybe a little…but I shouldn’t. What more do I need in a phone?

Technology in Action

Right now, without a hesitation, I can use my little communicator to take HD pictures, check email, shoot quality video and post it to the web, play incredible games, surf multiple pages on the internet, and believe it or not, make a PHONE CALL! What more do I need?! REALLY?

We are progressing way too fast, people. Way too fast. Maybe we should really be thinking of the truth of Daniel 12:4 – “But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, [even] to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.” The end may be nearer than we want to admit.

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Filed under Future, General Observations

Pulpit Freedom (First Video Blog)

Well, I am a little nervous, to say the least. I am posting my first video.

Yesterday I recorded this so that I could save some time. The problem is that I had no idea the difficulties I would have trying to get it uploaded. So, what was supposed to appear on Saturday afternoon is finally coming on line, now.

I apologize.

I also apologize for the quality of the video. I recorded it in HD, but it wasn’t uploaded that way. Better luck next time, I suppose.

Also, please forgive me for being a little nervous when this was recorded. My wife said I used “um” or “uh” too many times. I normally, uh, don’t, uh, do that.

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Filed under Christian Living, Christian Unity, Culture Wars, General Observations, Preaching

My Dream (Bucket) List

I have dreams…

Really, I do! And that is a good thing. Even though I just turned 44, which is 4 years over-the-hill and that much closer to assuming room temperature, I can still dream of things I would like to do while on this earth.

Now, there are some things on my list, or in my bucket, or however you want to say it, that could be considered serious and profound. On the other hand, there are some things that I would like to do, see, or acquire that are purely for fun. Check out the list below and see if you can tell which ones are realistic, serious, or just plain crazy.

I would like to…

  • be the next Billy Graham
  • fly in a vintage WW2 and/or jet-age fighter (especially a Spitfire or F86 Sabre)
  • drive a Shelby Cobra, a 1971 Jaguar E-type, a Ferrari, and a 007-like Aston Martin DB5

I would also like to…

  • see one politician act like Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
  • see prayer allowed in schools
  • see someone pray, like Daniel, in the public arena despite the threats of prosecution
  • see Ronald Reagan come back from the dead and say, “Everybody get off the stage, cause I’m running again.” Of course, I would be happy to see Lincoln, or Jefferson, or even JFK do the same.
  • hear one American president tell terrorist-sponsoring nations, “We’ve been nice with our ‘smart bombs,’ but we could go back to the way we did things in the 1940’s…ever heard of carpet bombing?”

I dream of going to…

  • Israel
  • London
  • Moscow
  • Disney World, again
  • Narnia

I would love to meet…

  • A sitting president (two, if Obama was included)
  • Billy Graham
  • Rush Limbaugh (sorry, folks, I’m a conservative)
  • Lindsey Lohan (just to tell her there’s a better way to live)
  • Justin Bieber (to give me street cred with the middle-school set)
  • Roger Whittaker (and take my little girl, who is a huge fan)
  • A real stay-at-home mom (or dad) who made a fortune with a work-from-home business they heard about on a commercial.
  • Mel Gibson (to tell him that God still loves him)
I would love to play…
  • a Stradivarius
  • like Tommy Emmanuel (please watch), Chet Atkins, Eric Clapton, or B.B. King
  • a game of chess with a computer – and win
  • the lottery (with money I found) – and win
  • a minor part in a movie with Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • In front of Simon Cowell and hear him say, “Others may have the X factor, but you have the ‘WOW’ factor! Paula, don’t you agree?…Paula…Paula?…”
I would love to have…
  • the ability to fly at will
  • a new suit that fits
  • Logos Bible Software (Platinum Edition) and a computer to run it.
  • a cheeseburger that doesn’t make me fat
  • hot dogs that tree-huggers wouldn’t complain about

But most of all, when all is said and done, my greatest wish, my greatest dream, is to hear God the Father say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Everything else – the memories of what I did, the places I saw, the people I met, the things I owned – will pass or fade away.  And that’s OK, because nothing will compare to the glory that awaits in the presence of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

In the meantime, if you happen to own a 427 Cobra, or extra tickets to the Holy Land, you could make a dream come true…call me anytime.

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How Badly Do You Really Want It?

Do you ever catch yourself singing commercial jingles for no apparent reason? Well, when I am driving, bored, and a little (or a lot) sleepy, I tend to start singing songs I learned as a child. In particular, one song is tops on my repertoire

The Oscar Mayer Wiener Song.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener / That is what I’d truly like to be ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener / Everyone would be in love with me.

First appearing in 1965, this song has become boiled, grilled, steamed, fried, and even micro-waved into our memories. But recently it struck me…what in the world am I saying? Am I so desperate for the attention of others that I would be willing to become an unhealthy food source?

The Need for Love

There are many hurting people in the world who would wish for nothing more than someone to love them. They go to great lengths to be prettier, richer, more popular, or even more “available” – all to find love. But do you really think it’s a good idea to wish you were a hot dog?

What most people don’t know is that there was a second verse to the Oscar Mayer wiener song. In the 1965 commercial a truly intelligent boy quickly understood the true ramifications of the song’s wish and sang the following:

Oh, I’m glad I’m not an Oscar Mayer wiener / That is what I’d never want to be/ ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener / There would soon be nothing left of me.

Sing it, brother! You tell ’em! Why would anyone want to be a hot dog? Do you really want to be loved so badly that you would sacrifice your humanity and allow yourself to be eaten? It’s not worth it, people…believe me!

The lyrics to this song could be re-written to expose what people are really saying. “Oh I wish I was something else instead of human / A tube of meat is what I want to be / I’d gladly die alone in boiling water / If you would only say that you loved me.

Look, there is no reason to want to become a hot dog (you might get eaten by one). Really, there is nothing to be gained by having your body boiled or grilled on an open flame; covered in chili, relish, mustard, and onions; then chewed repeatedly until you’re swallowed by someone who will forget you an hour later (unless the chili upsets them). Stay human. It’s better that way! 

You are Loved!

Ironically, someone did become something He was not in order to die for love. The big difference is that He was God and became Human, not a hot dog. And what’s more, He didn’t die to be loved – He died because He loved. His name is Jesus, and He died for you. You are VERY loved!

“For God so love the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 KJV

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8 NIV

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Filed under Food, General Observations, salvation, Uncategorized, Witnessing

Barriers to Church Growth. #5 (Honoring Self)

A very revealing study was done, leading to a book detailing how 300 churches went from declining or dying, to growing. In Comeback Churches, written by Ed Stetzer and Mike Dodson, there is a list of 30 different barriers to church growth. Having received permission from the publisher (B&H Publishing Group), I would like to discuss a different barrier each week.

“People do works for their own honor and not the glory of God (Matthew 5:16).”

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16 KJV

Why do we do good works? Why do we feed the poor, shelter the homeless, tend to the elderly, etc. Do we do these things so that our Father will be glorified, or do we do them in order to get glory for ourselves?

To be Seen.

Some people do good works for the sole intention of being seen and considered especially spiritual. Jesus said that “Everything they do is for show” (Mt. 23:5 NLT). Jesus spoke of those who wanted to be seen as pious and holy by wearing boxes containing Scripture on their foreheads or arms. The bigger the box the better. All this was in an attempt to say, “I am keeping the law better than you!” (See Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

Then there are other people who do plenty of good deeds without even acknowledging God. For example,  go to any charity ball held by your local “high society” club. There you will find plenty of people who willingly give thousands to worthy causes, but smile as big as they can when the magazine photographers come around.

They may even be members of local churches and give large offerings to the building fund (as long as it’s named after them); buy the pastor a new car; or pay for a youth mission trip. “And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the [congregation].” – Matthew 23:6 NLT

To be Accepted

Some people do good works in order to be accepted by God. They give away fortunes and spend their lives doing good deeds, but not to be seen of men. They want to be seen by God and thought of as worthy of His love. The only problem is that salvation is “not of works, lest any man should boast.” They work themselves to death in order prove their loyalty, thereby supposedly insuring a place in heaven. But the glory goes not to God, for attached to the works is an expectation of reward based on merit.

Soli Deo gloria

All glory should be to God alone. If our works are done in order to receive praise, then God is not getting the glory. If our works are meant to earn credit with God, then God is not getting the glory. If we work ourselves silly to meet the legalistic requirements placed on us by men, then God is not getting the glory. However, if out of a heart of love we do good works without expectation for reward, recognition, or acceptance, then God will receive the glory.

When all glory, honor, and praise is given to the Lord, He will draw all men unto Himself. Church growth will be unstoppable. Yet, if we expect credit for anything, then what should we expect but further decline? “For mine own sake, even for mine own sake, will I do it: for how should my name be polluted? and I will not give my glory unto another.” – Isaiah 48:11 KJV

We want others to see our good works, but not for our own glory. May they “glorify [our] Father which is in heaven.”

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Out of the Mouths of Babes

Why is it that so many place such a high premium on what children say? Why should we “listen to the children?” Sure, every once in while they say something cute or insightful, but on a regular basis? Get real. They may be short, but we’re not talking about Yoda. Youth is not a prerequisite to wisdom.

Buy Your Own House

This morning I was driving my bus full of children and one decided to share his “wisdom” with me. According to this young man, a fifth grader, it was better to not buy a house together, or share your money with your wife (if you get married). Why? “Because your wife may end up becoming a prostitute and kick you out and make you pay alimony.”

I can only pray for that poor boy. Where is he learning that stuff? Is this what he thinks of all women? Is this what he thinks of marriage? What kind of future do we have if kids like that keep growing up and taking over? He is definitely NOT a child I want to listen to.

If Children Ruled the World

But there are those who swear that true wisdom can be found in the words of young children. Forget the need for a lifetime of experience, listen to the wisdom of those who just learned to wear pull-ups and cut their own meat. If we did what the bleeding-hearts wanted us to do – listen to the children – where would we be right now?

* No one would ever work, except those that need to work so that others would not have to work.

* Every day would be Christmas, Halloween, and summer vacation.

* There would be peace on earth and no more wars – except when someone disrespects you or takes your candy.

* Everything should be available for the asking whenever it is wanted, as long as we don’t have to be the ones providing it for someone else.

* There would be no need for multiple cable channels, only DisneyNickelodeon, MTV, ESPN, and The Twilight Channel.

* Everyone would be able to walk around and have everything, while complaining that they are mistreated.

* No one would ever eat at home.

* Education, if desired, would be determined by what the child thought was important.

* Teachers, Doctors, Policemen, School Teachers, and Ministers would be disrespected and maligned, while movie and rock stars would be deified.

* Animals would be considered equal with humans.

* Hate would be outlawed; that is, unless someone disagreed with you.

* Church would be nothing but fun and games, with cookies for all to enjoy.

Wait! Maybe the children are already in charge!

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Filed under America, Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Defending Traditional Marriage, General Observations, Relationships and Family, the future, World View