Monday Monkey – “At the Wheel” (Episode 2)

One of the greatest country songs to come out of Nashville in the last, oh, 20 years was Jesus Take the Wheel.

This video is not meant to make fun of that song, so I hope Carrie Underwood doesn’t hate me when she sees this (I hope she see this).

This episode/edition of “Monday Monkey” pays tribute to Jesus Take the Wheel, while at the same time making fun of Monday-morning drivers.

“There’s a Monkey at the Wheel”

And before I forget, thanks to:

  1. Lauren Huckabee, for doing the vocals (she actually has an American Idol story). Great job!
  2. Scott, for the use of his Isuzu (that’s what the monkey drove to run me off the road).
  3. My daughter, Katie, for putting up with me and doing all the filming (with the iPhone 4).
  4. My wife, for not reminding me how much time it took to make a 59 second video.
  5. Jesus, for taking the wheel.

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Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey

Barriers to Church Growth #7 (Self-honoring Giving)

A very revealing study was done, leading to a book detailing how 300 churches went from declining or dying, to growing. In Comeback Churches, written by Ed Stetzer and Mike Dodson, there is a list of 30 different barriers to church growth. Having received permission from the publisher (B&H Publishing Group), I would like to discuss a different barrier each week.

“People think of giving as being for their own honor.”

Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.” – Matthew 6:2-4 KJV

I don’t have a problem with buildings, wings of buildings, rooms, sanctuaries, pews, or stained-glass windows being named in honor of people. It’s when those people give money in order have their names put on those things.

One of the most commonly used complaints against the church is, “They only want your money.” Just throw a rock into any crowd and the chances are high that you’ll hit a disgruntled, self-proclaimed atheist who thinks that way.

But even though most churches aren’t all about money (if they were, then why are so many struggling with tight budgets?), there are some folk within the church that like others to know how much money they have. These are the ones who pay the bills, and everybody knows it.

Jesus spoke of those who give just to be seen. I know people like that. They don’t give anonymously, heaven forbid. No, they hold a new conference and write an over-sized, four-foot-long check to the church, while posing for the camera.

These are the people who think they have more say-so in the congregation of believers. They think they have earned the right. Some even give in order to purchase titles, such as “prophet.” What’s worse, that very practice is applauded within a particular denomination. How sad.

What we need are more people who are willing to give because they love the Lord, not praise. I love the scene in Facing the Giants where a wealthy man gives the coach a new truck. Then he looks over at his son and says something like, “Don’t you say a word.” Now THAT’S what I’m talking about!

God gives to us so that we can give to Him. When it is money that we give, it is to be for His glory, not ours. So, if you want recognition, why not wait a little while for the kind that will come from your Heavenly Father?

The praise of men is worthless, if not simply envy in disguise. 

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Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, General Observations, Uncategorized

Missing God

My Dad

My father (Terry L. Baker) passed away back in 1991. I miss him very much.

One of the fondest memories I have is running and jumping into his lap after he came home from work. I can still remember the smell, too. You see, my dad worked in an auto machine shop and was very acquainted with sweat, grease, metal shavings, and Varsol. But even his words of “Don’t jump on me, son, I stink” never made a difference. When he finally got home, all I wanted to do was run to him (tears fill my eyes as I write this).

Another memory is his old (new then) 1968 Ford truck. It didn’t matter where I was, whether it be at school, the baby sitter, a friend’s house, or wherever; the sound of his truck was as distinctive as a fingerprint. I could hear him drive into a driveway, but more precisely, I could hear the distinct, redemptive sound of the shutting of the door. Whenever I heard that sound it meant my dad was there to take me away with him. What I wouldn’t give to hear that sound in my driveway right now.

I miss my daddy. I miss being his son. When everything seemed scary, wrong, broken, or hopeless, my dad would show up and let me know everything would be alright. Even when I got too big to jump into his lap, just being with him made me feel safe, loved, accepted, and never alone or intimidated. He was our family’s rock.

My God

There are also times when I miss my God.

For example, I have been taking a required biology class which requires me to read a secular, humanistic textbook. Do you know how hard it is to experience the joy of learning when all you read is telling you that your Heavenly Father is a myth? I can see His handiwork in the obvious design of this world, all the way down to the sub-atomic level, yet I am told “evolution” is my “real” parent. Why shouldn’t it make me feel cold and alone?

Also, I have been surfing the “tags” on WordPress.com. How depressing it is to find that so many of the articles included under the tags of “religion,” “Christianity,” and “God” are all hateful, atheistic, snide comments made by self-justifying Libertines secretly hoping God is a lie. Sometimes, on occasion, I don’t want to read them for fear that they might be right, and I might be alone, that there is no hope, and that life is meaningless.

That’s when I cry, “Abba! That’s when I just want to run into His arms, jump in His lap, feel His embrace, and stick my tongue out at all the ones that deny Him.

I don’t know what it will sound like when my Father comes to take me home. I may hear the sound of a trumpet, or He may just whisper in my ear while I sleep. But if God had a truck…..well, I’ll recognize the sound, whatever it is.

And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming.” – 1 John 2:28 KJV

(Even now, tears fill my eyes more than before as the Hope of Glory fills my longing soul. But if He ain’t your Daddy, you wouldn’t understand.)

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Filed under God, the future, worship

Monday Monkey – “Monkey Questions” (Episode 1)

Thanks for stopping by to see the first “Monday Monkey” episode! WOO HOO!

And just look what can be done with no budget!

Hope it brightens your day and makes your week go smoother!

Subscribe to The Recovering Legalist and receive email updates every time I post something new!

 Let’s make this a hit! Tell somebody about “Monday Monkey!”

No monkeys were harmed during the making of this video, but my arm went into a cramp.

 

 

 

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Filed under Life Lessons, Monday Monkey

Time Passing Too Quickly?

Only 6 Months

It’s June. He’s only six years old. He’s just seen a commercial for the coolest, most awesome toy ever created by man. The problem is that Christmas is still 6 months away.

Little Billy (it’s always Billy, isn’t it?)  asked, no pleaded with his mom and dad to immediately go to the toy store. He HAD to have it. But mom and dad, with words that bring tears to any kid’s eyes, calmly, cruelly said, “You’ll have to wait till Christmas.”

What? NOOOO!” cried Billy. And so, in response to his anguish, what words did his dad choose to comfort poor Billy? “Now son, Christmas is only 6 months away.” Again, Billy cries out “NOOOO!”

What is Billy’s problem? To a child looking forward to the best day of the year, the day when his dreams will come true, six months seems like an eternity! Every day will pass by like snails on Valium.

Only 6 Months?

He’s only 60 years old. There are so many things he’d like to have done, but time just slipped away. Now it seems like ever moment is picking up the pace. Time is flying by and he is scared.

Not long ago Bill went in for some tests, only to get a call from the doctor the next day. There were some results which needed to be talked about in person, so William was asked to come back into the office. With a sullen look, the oncologist said, “William, you’ve only got about 6 months to live.” Only 6 months?

Want to Slow Down Time?

For Billy, 6 months is an eternity. Nothing he can do will make time go by any quicker. It will seem like forever until Christmas.

For William, 6 months will seem like a blink of an eye. There will be nothing he can do to slow down the clock. Eternity will come knocking at his door.

How could William, then, become more like Billy? What would make William’s time seem like an eternity here on earth? The answer could be found in the truth of Colossians 3:2…”Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth.”

Oh, that our hearts could long for heaven the way we long for earthly pleasures! As a child longs for Christmas, why can’t we long for that celestial homecoming? The day that we set our affections on things above will be the day time down here slows down.

Need More Time?

Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Watch the sands in your hour-glass multiply as you “look forward to a city whose builder and maker is God” (Hebrews 11:10).

Wouldn’t it be great if we could look toward the end of our lives with the same expectation of a child longing for Christmas?

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Filed under Christian Maturity, Christmas, Future, Life Lessons, the future

Barriers to Church Growth, #6 (Selfish Prayer)

A very revealing study was done, leading to a book detailing how 300 churches went from declining or dying, to growing. In Comeback Churches, written by Ed Stetzer and Mike Dodson, there is a list of 30 different barriers to church growth. Having received permission from the publisher (B&H Publishing Group), I would like to discuss a different barrier each week.

People think of prayer as being for themselves (Matthew 6:5).

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.” – Matthew 6:5 KJV

Over the last few months I have preached several messages dealing with prayer. Just this Wednesday night I preached from Romans 12:1-3 and verse 12. There is a great need for prayer that is not self-centered, but sacrificial and “other” focused.

The Hypocrite Prayer

It should always be considered a great honor to be called upon to lead a congregational prayer. When this happens, what is not needed is a long, drawn-out speech meant to make everyone else think the one praying is practicing for an oral theological exam. However, there are those who use this opportunity to do almost that.

How many times have you been in a church service when some “godly” gentleman was asked to give the closing prayer, the result being you fell asleep and hit your head on the pew in front of you? Many times the reason for a prayer like that is simply to make the one praying sound righteous. Is that not what the Pharisee did (Luke 18:11)? His intent was to be heard of men, not God.

On the other hand, if the intent is for God to hear, do we think He is going to be impressed with our seminary-level language? More often than not, when somebody goes on and on in a public prayer, God is no more impressed than the people in the audience…nobody is fooled. Fancy words can never hide a faulty character.

The Selfish Prayer

What I believe is more dangerous than the hypocritical prayer is the prayer that focuses only on one’s personal needs, not the needs of others. The reason these prayers are dangerous is because they cause us to be narrow-minded and self-centered. They are the opposite of sacrificial prayer.

Does anyone seriously think that Christians pray as much as they should? And when we do pray, how often do you think we pray for the needs of our neighbors, our friends, or even our enemies before we “name-and-claim” our own desires? My friends, this is a barrier to church growth. The lack of prayer is far more deadly to the church than the few who “stand in the corner of the streets” to be heard.

Sacrificial Prayer

In the first verse of Romans 12 the Apostle Paul begs us to “present [our] bodies” as living sacrifices. “Living sacrifices” don’t care about self, only the glory of the One to whom the sacrifice is made. And when we are transformed by “the renewing of [our] minds,” we have the mind of One who would lay down His own life for the sake of others.

When we look further down into this chapter it becomes obvious that we not to think of ourselves as better than others, but to minister to their needs as our own. With that in mind, when we come to verse 12, what kind of prayer should we be continuing in?

When we become more like Christ, our prayers become more like His. We don’t know every prayer Jesus prayed, but of the ones we have a record of, how many included requests for better jobs, a better car, a nicer home, better health, etc? More often than not, He prayed for the Church, for unity, for His Father to receive glory, for His Father’s will to be done.

How awesome it would be if we all spent more time on our knees in prayer? How powerful would it be if we sacrificed our time in prayer for self and focused on others within the body? What would happen if we would just spend time praying, not just for our own congregations, but for the Church, the body of Christ?

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Filed under book review, Christian Living, Christian Maturity

Monday Monkey Introduction

Lord willing (and if my iPhone4 keeps working), there will be a new segment starting next Monday…

“Monday Monkey”

Watch the video and you will understand. Just keep in mind, it’s all still Biblical.

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” – Proverbs 17:22 KJV

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Filed under Uncategorized

Subscription Contest Ideas

Thanks

I want to thank you for subscribing to this blog.

What? You haven’t subscribed? Why not? Don’t you want to be updated every time I feel inspired to create a literary work of greatness? Pfff…like you’ve got other things to read….riiiiight.

Seriously, if you are a subscriber, I do want to thank you. Your decision to click that little “sign me up” button has, and always will be a little source of encouragement.

The Contest

I am not the biggest, most famousest writer in the blogosphere. All one has to do is look at Heather Joy’s blog to realize I am on the fertilizer level of the readership totem pole. But, I would like to change that, with your help, of course.

Why don’t we set a goal for 100 subscribers by the end of the year (Right now I have 36)? Do you have any ideas how that could be done? If I do reach 100 subscribers by the end of the year, what could we do to celebrate?

The Payoff

One idea I have been tossing around is a random gift certificate giveaway – something like a $20 gift certificate to The Cracker Barrel. Another idea would be to invite all my subscribers out to eat at a local restaurant (I’d buy dessert). Maybe one lucky subscriber could be randomly selected to receive a lock of my hair for a keepsake….oh, that wouldn’t work, would it?

Do you have any ideas? Just keep them inexpensive. I don’t make anything from this site, you know.

Buddy (a.k.a., Monday Monkey) and I thank you!

5 Comments

Filed under the future, Uncategorized

Monkeys in Space: Almost

Disclaimer: Due to the author’s sense of humor, those without one should skip this article.

True Story

Sometime last month (between August and September, 2011) the primates of Iran were in mourning. What was supposed to be a small step for monkey, a large tree swing for monkeykind, ended in tragic failure. Now, all space monkey programs are on hold, indefinitely.

Recently, it was learned that Iran had attempted to send a live monkey 75 miles into space for a 20 minute orbit. Soaring into history inside the Kavoshgar-5 rocket, this little squeaker was going to show the world that Iran was that much closer to either putting a man in space, or launching banana hurling chimps at America. But something went wrong – terribly wrong. (Click here for the news story)

Old Story

What amazes me is that it has been over 52 years since NASA sent 2 monkeys, Able and Baker, into space (May 28, 1959). Both survived. Miss Baker even went on to live to 27 years while staying at the Huntsville Space and Rocket Center in Alabama.

NASA went on to send even more monkeys into space. The lessons learned from these missions were invaluable to the growing space program which ultimately put men on the moon in 1969, just ten years after the first monkey went ballistic (pun intended).

Now we have Iran attempting to do what we did 52 years ago (without Windows 8), and they still failed. How depressing that must be! How embarrassing for the poor little dessert monkeys! Surely they are wishing they could defect to a Western zoo about now.

Advanced Griping Standards

So, I couldn’t help but think about something. We all know that Iran hates us, correct? I think I know why. We have more advanced griping skills. Let me explain.

Since 1969 Americans have been without excuse for failure. Since then there have been unbelievable advances in every kind of technology known to man. Why? Because whenever there was a need, all somebody would have to say was, “We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t…” Here are a few examples of how that would sound…

  • We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t make an fast-cooking oven?
  • We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t make a cordless telephone?
  • We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t have more than 3 television stations?

You see, all someone would have to do is throw out that “man on the moon” thing and genius would be shamed into action. I just can’t help but wonder if that is why Iran is always in such a bad mood. Is this why they hate us so much, aside from supporting Israel, and all? I mean, when you stop and think about it, they can’t even elevate themselves to the same level of complaining!

  • We can put a man on the ……..wait…….
  • We can put a monkey on the ………no, wait…….
  • We can kill a monkey strapped to a bottle rocket, yet we still can’t find a cure for camel bad breath?

There’s just no comparison, is there? No wonder they are so far behind. No wonder they hate us. We’re 50 years ahead in griping standards!

The Greatest Standard

But when it comes to standards, there is one that we all fall short of – the holiness of God. We can look at our own achievments and compare them to others, but how do they compare to God? We can compare our righteousness to the deeds of our neighbor, but how do we compare with God?

“Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I am the LORD your God.” – Leviticus 20:7 KJV

“Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.” – 1 Peter 1:16 KJV

We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t save ourselves. We can do great and wonderful things, but we can’t achieve holiness. The heart of man is “desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). The only way we can truly be “holy” is when we “put on Christ” (Romans 13:14). Then, and only then, can we rise to our full potential, for we can “do all things through Christ.”

 

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Filed under America, General Observations, God

Courageous: A Review

Could I recommend anything more highly than going to see Courageous?

Sure…here are a few examples:

  • Breath and exhale on a regular basis.
  • Take a potty break at least once a day.
  • Eat nutritious foods and drink hydrating, non-addictive fluids, if possible. But if none of these are available, feel free to eat McDonald’s chicken nuggets and swig down a tall Coca Cola product…you don’t want to starve.
  • Call your mother on Mother’s Day.

Other than that, I can’t think of too many things I would rather you do, especially if you are a man, than go see this movie. It is THAT good.

It’s a Wake-Up Call

From the people that made Facing the Giants and Fireproof comes a movie that should challenge every man to become the courageous leader he was meant to be. Much like a wake up call that resembles ice water in the face and banging trash cans at 0400 (that’s 4 am), Courageous will make any father worth his salt re-evaluate some things.

I will tell you, I was in tears for part of the movie, laughing in another part, tense in three parts, and under conviction the rest. And guys, when you take your wife, make sure you sit a seat away if she startles easily. And if you haven’t been the best husband, you’d better be prepared to make a change. You’ll know if you see her using napkins covered in popcorn “butter” and salt to wipe the tears away from her eyes.

It’s Worth the Ticket Price

Was the acting as good as can be found in an Oscar-winning motion picture? Probably not. But everything else was on par with anything Hollywood and it’s hedonistic values can pump out. Now that Sony has been putting some money into the production, the Kendrick brothers have been able to create a much higher quality product. So, don’t be fooled by critics into thinking its going to be a lame, evangelical, low-budget Church flick. It’s worth the price of a ticket in an HD theater.

Plot?

When it comes to the plot, I don’t want to give anything away you don’t already know. It’s about policemen, Mexican workers, drug dealers, death, life, and how a real father, not just a one-night-stand-er, can make a difference. It’s about modern day dads making a resolution to be “courageous.”

Favorite scene? Well, let’s just say it has to do with a chicken sandwich, waffle fries, a milkshake, and the Snake Kings.

A final thought. Even though many will still think of this movie as “preachy,” all because it promotes a solid message without resorting to sex, profanity, or any other Hollywood mainstay, one thing remains the same: the Kendrick brothers have not lost their focus. Just look at this quote from the end of a critical review in the Seattle Times:

[The] bigger message might be that the Kendricks haven’t sold out, “gone Hollywood” or watered down their beliefs to reach an audience beyond the faithful.

And God bless them!

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, General Observations, Life Lessons, Movie review