Category Archives: General Observations

Just things I see that make me think.

Just Write

One thing that I have heard over and over again from experienced writers is, “Just write.” When asked how to become a better writer, they say, “Just write.” When asked, “What if I don’t know what to write about today?”, they say, “Just write.”

Okie Dokie.

There once was a blubber named Blue who went to the ocean blue – who knew? He went there all scared, then came back prepared to marry a rubber rain shoe.

So, what’s all this stuff about North Korea? I think their leader actually believes the propaganda he heard as a child. Either that, or he has been affected by lead poisoning leaching from the medals of his generals.

I think that bullies are victims, too. Seriously! I read a meme posted by somebody on Facebook that blasted others for making fun of people. Well, when you bash bullies, remember that they are only scared, insecure, babies in big-boy clothes. They need love, too.

Have I ever told you that I hate the word “meme” almost as much as cottage cheese?

I have learned in my last semester of seminary that I am just as intelligent as my professors and most of the authors of my text books. No joke. I’m just not as well educated.

I broke my glasses this week, so I had to pull out an old pair with an older prescription. Until I can get some new ones I am wearing this pair with a broken ear piece put back together with a steel-like puddy. It’s not been too bad, though. Now I look like the nerd I never was. Maybe I’ll score an IT job making $150K a year!

There comes a time in every preacher’s life, especially one who preaches three times a week, when he asks the question: “What in the world am I going to preach on this Sunday?” Imagine being enrolled in a never-ending speech class!

I don’t mind when I snore.

Don’t you hate it when the weather is cold in the morning but hot as the Sahara in the afternoon? One has to start off the day in a parka, but end it in shorts and a t-shirt. It gets bad when you forget to check the forecast and end up later in the day wearing a flannel shirt and no deodorant.

It has been determined that I will never be a Calvinist.

I never liked Elmo on Sesame Street. Grover was my hero. I can even talk like him.

Kenya could use some of President Obama’s vacation money. I wonder if his daughters will go there on their next mission trip?

People are putting up gutters outside my window. I wonder that they are thinking as they look inside and see me sitting here, typing away like a professional writer? I bet they’re thinking, “Those blisters he has to get on his fingers must be painful, poor guy.”

Have a great Tuesday! 

Or, if you are reading this on another day of the week, have a great whatever that day is, too!

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Filed under General Observations, Humor

Bug Spray Warning

A Reasonable Idea

There is a suggestion floating around the internet on places like Facebook, Twitter, etc. The suggestion is to get yourself a big can of wasp & hornet spray (a pesticide) for protection – not from bug, but from criminals.

wasp sprayYou see, it is getting more and more difficult for honest, law-abiding citizens to own and carry firearms. On the other hand, criminals are becoming anything but more friendly. Therefore, some are suggesting that using a can of wasp spray is a good alternative to a gun. Here’s an example from a post on Facebook…

[Wasp spray] can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate [than pepper spray], while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. [A church secretary] keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn’t attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection.

A Legal Problem

Having an inexpensive form of self-defense sounds all fine and dandy, especially if you are the type who either cannot or won’t own a firearm. The only problem with using a can of bug spray is that it would be illegal. Yes, illegal.

Now, you may be asking yourself, “Why would I worry about using a can of bug spray on an attacker trying to harm me or take my life?” In a normal universe, it would seem perfectly acceptable to use anything at your disposal to defend your life, correct? Well, we don’t live in a world ruled by common sense, but by lawyers.

If you were casually walking through your house one day, and a burglar broke in and chased you through the garage, and you picked up the first thing handy, a can of bug spray, and shot him in the face, you might be OK. On the other hand, if you have a can sitting on your desk, or beside your bed, or in your purse, then you could get in real trouble.

bug sprayTake a look at the highlighted portion of the picture. There you will read the following: “It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.” As any trained pest control technician would tell you, “the label is the law.”

So, if you are ever forced to use your bug spray on an attacker, bear this in mind: a good defense attorney will have your skin for the premeditated illegal use of a potentially deadly substance. If your attacker is harmed in any way, don’t think for a moment that a sleazeball lawyer won’t take advantage of you “violating Federal law.” Your attacker may even get off without jail time, all because you hurt his feelings with anything but a double-barrel shotgun.

Law and Grace

When the law is all there is, legalists will seize any opportunity. There will always be someone willing to twist the law to his (or his client’s) own advantage.

Paul told Timothy, “we know that the law [is] good, if a man use it lawfully” (1 Timothy 1:8). Unfortunately, in this day and age, there are those who don’t always use the law for good, but for gain. Therefore, be careful.

Thank God for grace.

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Filed under America, General Observations, legalism

A “Perfect” Role Model

Sermon Prep

Not long ago I was doing some research for a sermon on Jonah. In the process I came across a Muslim website that made an interesting observation (and I will paraphrase), “The Bible proves it is not true because God would not allow the prophets’ reputations to be smeared.”

It went on to say (paraphrasing, again), “What kind of role model would a prophet be if we read of him making mistakes?”

What kind of role model? That’s a good question! Was the Muslim author trying to say that role models had to be perfect in order to be real? Here’s a shocker – in one way or another, everybody is a role model.

If the defining characteristic of a role model is “perfection,” that would rule out King David, Solomon, Moses, Joshua, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Peter, Paul, Sarah, Mary (all of them), the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, and many, many others…

…especially Jonah.

Jonah

Now, Jonah wasn’t exactly the type of person after which I would want to pattern my life, but he was a prophet of God. He had some serious character flaws, though. He was angry, disobedient, and was a racist who constantly talked suicide. He even spouted off to the Lord for being too forgiving!

No, Jonah’s not the type of person I would want to emulate. But hold the whale puke! I am more like him than I thought!

  • I have run from God.
  • I have harbored racism at times, as much as I am ashamed to admit.
  • I have been angry and disobedient.
  • I have wondered if life was worth living.
  • I have even wanted to see whole cities destroyed, innocent people and all, after September 11, 2001.

I have been more like Jonah more than I care to admit.

The Encouraging Part

The fact is that the Bible is not only full of role models, but models of the people we already are. Flawed, broken, and human. But here is the encouraging part: even when we are not perfect, God can still use us – and change us.

  • Jonah ran from God, but God pursued.
  • Jonah disobeyed God, but it didn’t derail God’s plan.
  • Jonah got angry with God, but God responded to him with the understanding kindness of a wise Father.
  • Jonah even wanted to die, but God never belittled him. He only focused Jonah’s attention on the bigger picture: 120,000 souls, not to mention animals, whose lives were spared (Jonah 4).

I thank God that the Bible doesn’t white-wash humanity. There are so many examples of how people, just like me, can find hope, even when we’re not perfect.

The Perfect One

It is not hard to come to the conclusion that there were some really dysfunctional people in the Bible. But you know what? That’s what adds to the authenticity of Scripture. There are no “perfect” role models in the Bible, except for one – Jesus.

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.” – 1 Peter 2:21-22 ESV

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” – Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV

I want to be more like HIM!

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Filed under Christian Living, General Observations, God, Life Lessons, Preaching, Struggles and Trials

Things You Didn’t Know

Blogger Awards

If you are a regular blogger, then you are probably aware of all the blogger “awards” being passed around. The Creative Blogger Award and the Very Inspiring Blogger Award are pretty common.

very-inspiring-blogger-awardWhat makes these awards pretty cool is the fact that they are given by one’s peers. Unfortunately, one has to give the award once one receives it. When someone receives a notification that he has been nominated, in order to actually “win” it, the next step is to nominate 15 other bloggers for the same award.

What if I created an award? Maybe I could call it The Best Blog of the Month Award. Or, maybe I could call it Baker’s Best. Whatever I name it, it would come with the following statement: “You earned this, and you don’t have to share.”

Crazy Requirements

Another thing about blogger awards is that in order to officially receive them you must tell some unknown fact about yourself. I received a notification not long ago that said, “You have been nominated for the _______ Award! Congratulations! Now, tell everybody 10 things about yourself that others may not know.”  

Really? Why? What does that have to do with anything? Can you imagine, just before placing the gold medal around an athlete’s neck, the giver of the medal saying, “Before we can officially give this to you, Mr. Phelps, please tell us 10 embarrassing moments from your childhood”?

Well, since I have been nominated many times, yet never responded, it’s time I let some skeletons out of the closet. For all of you have felt me worthy of an award, but never found out anything new, here are…

Ten Things about Me that You May Not Have Known

  1. I learned how to tie my shoes in daycare, but I learned the wrong way. Since it was back in the early 70’s, whoever taught me must have been high on drugs. Now my shoes never stay tied and my kids make fun of me.
  2. My first dog was a German Shepherd named Sarge. He got hit by a car and I still remember crying.
  3. In kindergarten I threw a rock and hit a girl. As a punishment, the superintendent made me kiss her and tell her I was sorry. Throwing rocks then became a regular pastime.
  4. I do not like eating rare steak. If I wanted blood on my plate I would just sneak up to a cow in the middle of the night and suck on its neck.
  5. Every since having my heart ripped out and stomped on by an ex-girlfriend, it is hard to say the name Lisa without curling my lip and pronouncing it Leeeessssuh. But that’s been nearly 25 years ago, so I’m over it. No hard feelings. None at all. All’s forgiven.
  6. I can’t go to sleep when our little dog has a cough, but I fell asleep next to an NHRA drag strip while top-fuelers were racing.
  7. My dad was my hero, but I don’t feel like one to my girls.
  8. I love to preach, but get in trouble for it when I preach to my wife.
  9. Owning a horse for a pet makes absolutely no sense to me.
  10. I spend too much time making lists of things that don’t matter.

Do I win?

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Filed under General Observations, Humor

Fake Fire

Conclave 2013

This weekend I went with our youth pastor, Daniel Ziegenmier, to Conclave 2013, “a training conference to equip and rejuvenate your youth ministry team.” The great thing was that it was here in our home town, not across the country. 

camp fireWhile strolling through the exhibit hall where various ministries had booths and displays, I came across this neat fake camp fire. The flame in the middle was made of a fabric that fluttered above a silent fan and colored light. From only a few feet away it looked real.

It would have been nice to have one of these back in 1984. There would be less emotional scars.

High School Play 1984

In my junior year of high school the junior/senior speech class wrote and performed a Christmas play. I had a part in everything, from acting to writing and prop design. It was the prop design that had serious flaws.

The Stage

The play was held in the auditorium of Hamill Road Baptist Church in Hixson, TN. The set took up the entire stage where the pulpit usually sat, along with most of the choir loft. It was a big production in a very nice, carpeted church.

Hamill Road had light blue carpet…really nice, comfortable, flammable carpet.

The Set

In one of the scenes the cast went Christmas caroling, so there was a set complete with houses and front doors.

Following the caroling, all the cast went to a house to sit around and talk about the Christmas story. There they drank hot chocolate as they sat around a fire place…

…a fire place in church.

The Prop

It essentially came down to 2 or 3 other guys and myself. We had to figure out how to build a fireplace that looked real enough, but didn’t actually burn wood or gas. Unfortunately, we had no prior special effects experience.

I don’t know if it was Jeff DeHart, Brian Gibson, or myself who decided it was a good idea to take a candle, lay it on its side, notch it out, and expose 3 to 4 pieces of wick. I don’t know who it was, but one of us thought that we could light a candle in front of tin foil, surround it with dry wood, and make it would look like a burning fire place.

Did you know that when you notch out a candle, pull out the wick, light it, and let it burn during a 10-minute scene that the flame would eventually burn through? Nobody told us!

The Fire

I was proud of all of us. Like true professionals, when the fire hit the carpet…that beautiful, baby-blue carpet…we were able to smack the floor with our hands to the beat of another Christmas carol. Nearly in a panic, knowing our semester grades were on the line, not to mention our eternal souls, we put the fire out with our bare hands. Our parents didn’t have a clue.

Providentially, the next to the last scene involved the death of a character and a real casket. Without going into much detail, the layer of smoke created by the fire became a special effect worthy of an Oscar! It was beautiful!

For some reason the air conditioning system didn’t come on, and the smoke spread out like a sea over the congregation.  When the rented spotlight in the back came on, the exposed smoke made the congregation look like an eerie cemetery full of dressed-up headstones. I got chills.

Epilogue

Well, we got a standing ovation and an “A” for the project. Unfortunately, because the play was so well-received, we were asked to do an encore.

That’s when the church burned down…

Just kidding.

 

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Filed under Christmas, General Observations, Humor, Independent Baptist, Life Lessons, ministry

Hacked Email

This morning I woke up to several emails asking odd questions. One friend who is involved with monitoring attempted terrorist attacks on our waterways sent me an email saying, “You have been hacked.” Oh. That explained it.

Well, if you received a strange email from me in the middle of the night (depending on where you live), and if it was a spam email, then please accept my apologies. I can’t say it won’t happen again, but I’ll do my best to up the security.

In the meantime, here are some suggestions to help determine if an email you receive is actually from me…

First, if you receive an email with a time stamp of 3:30 a.m., toss it. If it is so important that I get a message to you in the middle of the night, I will either call, text, or say something other than “Hello!” If you do actually receive an email from me when I should be sleeping, just report me to my wife.

Secondly, I don’t know any “hot girls” or “sexy singles”. Let’s try to keep it that way, OK?

Thirdly, I hate to forward anything, and usually won’t if someone asks. If you receive a message that says something like, “You’ve got to check this out!”, then it’s probably not from me. If you receive anything that says, “Forward this to at least 10 people and you will be blessed with love and success,” it came from Satan, not me.

Lastly, I don’t do weird stuff. If it is an email asking you to check out some new “thing” on the market or a new gimmick to help you lose weight, it’s not from me. If it is a link to something sexual, shame on you if you click it!

Well, there you have it. I am sure I could come up with more suggestions, but I have other stuff to do. I hope this was helpful.

If you have any other suggestions, leave them in the comment section below. Your email may be the next one hacked.

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Filed under Christian Living, General Observations, Life Lessons

Sunday School – Something Has to Change!

 This week I was given a discussion question. I was asked to “present a list of diagnostic questions that can be used to evaluate the theological foundations of the discipleship program of a local church.” At least three of the diagnostic questions needed to address God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Therefore, in response, I prepared several evaluation questions aimed at discovering how God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are being presented to our youth, including questions aimed at discovering the level of understanding regarding the importance of teaching theology on an applicable level.

Questions to Evaluate the Theological Foundations of a Youth Discipleship Program

In The Teaching Ministry of the Church Octavio J. Esqueda defined the word theology as “the study of God,” which comes from the Greek words theos (God) and logos (speech, reason, word). Then he went on to say, “To do theology is to reflect on God. Our theology, or the lack of it, affects the way we think and live.”[1] So, the first question is

“What are we teaching our youth about God that will not only inform them of his nature, but will cause them to live differently than they are taught in the world?”

How we think about God should affect how we live, but even though many may learn about God’s attributes, they rarely learn to appropriate the truth that He is ever-present, all-knowing, and all-powerful in their lives. The problem that many churches face, including ours, is scores of children who learn enough about God to describe him intellectually, but know little of him from an experiential perspective. Do they fear Him? Have they ever made the personal connection that what God did to his Son should have been done to them? Do they know that how they live outside of church is more important than their Sunday school attendance? How they really understand God as a real person will affect how they think and live outside of the classroom. They need to be imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1) in the world, not just church.

In two different places (Matt. 16:13; Mk. 8:27) we read how Jesus asked, “Who do men say that I am?” Who do our youth say that Jesus is? Is He a perpetual baby wrapped in swaddling clothes? Is He just the namesake of the club (the church) they were forced by their parents to join? Do they think of Him as God, or as a moral teacher akin to the founders of other “great” religions? Michael J. Anthony wrote in A Theology for Christian Education that being able to articulate one’s understanding of the deity, humanity, earthly ministry, and work of Christ is essential to one’s spiritual maturity.[2] Are we turning out “mature” young adults when they leave our youth department? The second question is…

“How are we teaching who Jesus Christ is, and in what ways can we determine what we are teaching is effective?”

When it comes to the Holy Spirit, Baptists are typically scared to death. They are more likely to talk about fried chicken than the “fire” of the Holy Ghost. However, Jesus spoke very clearly when he said that he would send another Comforter to abide with us (John 14:16). The Holy Spirit is not only critical to our ability to teach, but to understand the Bible, the core of our curriculum. Do we ever teach our young people about the indwelling power of the Spirit which enables them to deal with peer pressure and temptation? Do they know about His ability to help them understand the “bronze-aged” document their atheist professors routinely ridicule? Therefore, the third question is…

“What are we teaching our youth about the Holy Spirit?”

The sad truth is that many youth programs, if not the majority, lack quality teaching, and we are sending our youth into the unbelieving world unprepared. Just take the word school in “Sunday school” – it’s a misnomer – it doesn’t exist. If it does exist, then most youth programs are the equivalent of a high school that sends students to college without ever teaching them how to read!

Something drastic has to be done, that is for sure. Regular teachers in regular schools try to prepare students to deal with life once they graduate. They teach with a goal in mind. They have lesson plans. They are forced to show that their students are learning. What are we doing in the church? Are our children any more prepared for the world than when they first started coming? Will their faith endure or fall apart once they reach college?

We have such a narrow window through which to teach our youth how to be Christians, not just wear a label. They spend eight hours a day in a school that teaches them how to “gain the world,” but what will if profit them, or us, if they lose their soul (Mark 8:36) due to one hour a week of poor Christian education? Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The reason so many are departing is not because the proverb is false; it’s because they have never been taught.

God help us. One day we will give an account.


[1] William R. Yount. The Teaching Ministry of the Church. 2nd edition. (Nashville: B&H Publishing, 2008), 32.

[2] James R. Estep, Jr., Michael J. Anthony, and Gregg R. Allison. A Theology for Christian Education. (Nashville: B&H Publishing, 2008), 125.

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Filed under baptist, Christian Maturity, Faith, General Observations, Southern Baptist, Theology, Uncategorized, Witnessing

A Long 179 Hours

Woo Hoo!

Finally, at the end of this spring semester, I will be graduating seminary with a M.Min. It has been a long time coming, too. As a matter of fact, there are people who were born after I started college who already have doctorates and are practicing medicine!

Nevertheless, even though it is not a Doctorate of Divinity or a Doctorate of Philosophy, it is still an accomplishment. It is an accomplishment that has been brought about by the accumulation of 179 credit hours. If you add to that the hours I completed that were not accredited, I would have  close to 225.

How Long?

But what does all that really mean? How long did it take to complete 179 hours? Seven and half days? Far from it, my friends. Far from it.

The average college student, if he didn’t do anything else, could have completed all of the above hours of courses in 6 years.  Add in the total amount I have taken and an average student could have done it all in 8 years, if not sooner. So, when you stop and look at how long it took me, well, let’s just say I am not average.

Here are a few points to put things in perspective…

  • 1971 Press ReleaseRegGas was less than $1 per gallon. A friend of mine and I took a 1971 Chrysler Imperial that could only get 200 miles to a tank of gas from Tennessee to Florida, and we still had money to spend.
  • Cassette Tapes to Clouds. When I first started college I was so excited to get a Pioneer cassette deck for my 67 Mustang. Now, my iPhone can hold more music than I could have afforded to own in the 80’s.
  • Bag Phone to iPhone. The first cell phone I used was bolted to the floor of a truck and had a dial, not buttons. The first cell phone I owned came in a bag with a battery four to five times the size of an iPhone. I couldn’t always afford to talk, but I would hold it up to my ear while driving, especially in the dark, just to show off.
  • Typewriters and Printers. Most people don’t remember typewriters, but I had to use them in high school. Later, after the advent of personal computers, I was able to snag a Tandy 1000. But do you remember those old printers that used paper that had to be guided on rollers? It would take 10 minutes to print a 10 page paper, but it was better than typing.
  • Text books to E-books. When I first started college an e-book was unheard of. Now text books are offered for iPads, Kindles, and phones. I still prefer something with paper.
  • Babies to Baby Makers. I have been going to college for so long that babies born when I started have already graduated college and started families! Those babies are now older than the age of girl I was dating in 1987.

It has been a long 179 hours, that’s for sure. Sorta reminds me of eternity. There, a day will be like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a day. I’m looking forward to it.

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Filed under Future, General Observations, Life Lessons, wisdom

2012 in Review (Pretty Cool)

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Click the link below and you will get to see a pretty cool summary of the past year. Remember to scroll down.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 19,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 4 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

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Year-End Wisdom from the School Bus

Life Lessons

If you are new to my blog, besides trying to pastor a church, parent children, and perturb a wife, I drive a school bus. It’s what I do to help pay the bills and increase my presence in the community.

photo (41)A while back I wrote a series of posts called “Life Lessons from the School Bus.” I haven’t done any in a while, however. So, since school is now out for Christmas vacation, I thought it would be a good time to catch up.

Below are three, short examples of truth gleaned from inside the “yellow box” on wheels. If you like these, you should go read some of my older posts. You won’t be disappointed.

“Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding; For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, And her gain than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.” – Proverbs 3:13-15 NKJV

The Roundabout

Europe came to Chattanooga a few years ago in the form of roundabouts. They are only in a few places, but people are getting used to them, especially the NASCAR fans – they love driving in circles.

Anyway, last week I came to a roundabout in my bus. About a quarter of the way through, a girl in a little car came from the street to my right and pulled directly in front of me, causing me to slam on my brakes. “Oops!” was the look that came across her face. “Idiot!” must have been the look on mine.

Life Lesson? Are school buses invisible? No, and neither are many of the tragedies that run over people every day. People get so distracted with life that they never see the things approaching which could take life from them.

Losing Marbles

There’s this one little girl on my bus that cries over the least little things, like when she doesn’t get her way. One time she was crying about how everybody hated her. Then, just as she was stepping off the bus, another little boy looked back at her and said, “Nobody hates you, [name]; we just don’t like you.”

Well, that afternoon, when the elementary kids were getting on the bus to go home, this little girl got on first and sat on the front row. “Would you like a marble, Mr. Baker?” she asked. “No,” I said, “I have plenty.” “What kind do you have?” she asked. “The round kind,” I replied.

Then, as every child getting on the bus walked past her she would say, “Would you like a marble? You can have it for keeps. Everyone! Get your free marble, if you want one!

I asked, “What are you doing? Why are you giving away your marbles?” She said, “Because I am going to make them like me.

Life Lesson? Believe it or not, many adults do the same thing. They treat others poorly, then try to buy their friendship with shiny trinkets. Sadly, when all is said and done, the marbles just end up on the floor when the “friends” leave.

Puke Breeds Puke

It’s the last thing a bus driver wants to deal with, but puke happens.

Recently a driver in our area suffered a puking “perfect storm.” One child on his bus got sick and orally relieved himself, which started a chain reaction. I’ll never forget the driver’s words over the two-way radio, “It’s everywhere…all over…the bus is covered.”

You see, there is an irrefutable law on school buses: puke runs downhill (or down isles). So, when one kid started throwing up, six or seven others followed his example, leaving the bus to be washed out with a water hose.

Life lesson? Watch your mouth – and what you spew out of it. The way you talk will influence others. Bad attitudes breed more bad attitudes, and what you end up with is a nasty mess.

 Want to be a school bus driver? Doesn’t pay a lot, but the lessons learned are worth a fortune!

 

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Filed under America, Christian Maturity, General Observations, Uncategorized, wisdom