Things You Didn’t Know

Blogger Awards

If you are a regular blogger, then you are probably aware of all the blogger “awards” being passed around. The Creative Blogger Award and the Very Inspiring Blogger Award are pretty common.

very-inspiring-blogger-awardWhat makes these awards pretty cool is the fact that they are given by one’s peers. Unfortunately, one has to give the award once one receives it. When someone receives a notification that he has been nominated, in order to actually “win” it, the next step is to nominate 15 other bloggers for the same award.

What if I created an award? Maybe I could call it The Best Blog of the Month Award. Or, maybe I could call it Baker’s Best. Whatever I name it, it would come with the following statement: “You earned this, and you don’t have to share.”

Crazy Requirements

Another thing about blogger awards is that in order to officially receive them you must tell some unknown fact about yourself. I received a notification not long ago that said, “You have been nominated for the _______ Award! Congratulations! Now, tell everybody 10 things about yourself that others may not know.”  

Really? Why? What does that have to do with anything? Can you imagine, just before placing the gold medal around an athlete’s neck, the giver of the medal saying, “Before we can officially give this to you, Mr. Phelps, please tell us 10 embarrassing moments from your childhood”?

Well, since I have been nominated many times, yet never responded, it’s time I let some skeletons out of the closet. For all of you have felt me worthy of an award, but never found out anything new, here are…

Ten Things about Me that You May Not Have Known

  1. I learned how to tie my shoes in daycare, but I learned the wrong way. Since it was back in the early 70’s, whoever taught me must have been high on drugs. Now my shoes never stay tied and my kids make fun of me.
  2. My first dog was a German Shepherd named Sarge. He got hit by a car and I still remember crying.
  3. In kindergarten I threw a rock and hit a girl. As a punishment, the superintendent made me kiss her and tell her I was sorry. Throwing rocks then became a regular pastime.
  4. I do not like eating rare steak. If I wanted blood on my plate I would just sneak up to a cow in the middle of the night and suck on its neck.
  5. Every since having my heart ripped out and stomped on by an ex-girlfriend, it is hard to say the name Lisa without curling my lip and pronouncing it Leeeessssuh. But that’s been nearly 25 years ago, so I’m over it. No hard feelings. None at all. All’s forgiven.
  6. I can’t go to sleep when our little dog has a cough, but I fell asleep next to an NHRA drag strip while top-fuelers were racing.
  7. My dad was my hero, but I don’t feel like one to my girls.
  8. I love to preach, but get in trouble for it when I preach to my wife.
  9. Owning a horse for a pet makes absolutely no sense to me.
  10. I spend too much time making lists of things that don’t matter.

Do I win?

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Filed under General Observations, Humor

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