Category Archives: current events

Underwear Is the Answer?

WARNING! I am going to be talking about underwear (and other things). Some may find the following subject material inappropriate, so proceed at your own risk.

The other day one of my daughters sent me a video advertisement from a company called AR Wear. What were they trying to sell? Anti-rape underwear.

Anti-rape underwear…

(If you want to see the video, you can go look it up on YouTube.)

OK, so….

For the record, I believe rape is a horrible crime. Furthermore, I think predatory rapists should suffer punishments akin to those dished out in the Old Testament. Therefore, please don’t misunderstand me…if you want to wear anti-rape underwear, go for it!

However, what disturbs me is that there is evidently a market for anti-rape underwear, a market partially characterized by a lack of wisdom and common sense.

Below is the text from the first couple of minutes of the AR Wear video advertisement…

“Have you ever been out walking at night, alone, wishing you could feel safer? And you, parents and friends, how often have you worried about a loved one? We want to provide a product that will make women and girls feel safer when out on a first date, or a night of clubbing, taking an evening run, traveling in another country, or in other potentially risky situations.

The challenge was to find a way for the garment to be worn comfortably during normal activities, yet still be able to frustrate an attack…even if the person wearing it had too much to drink, was drugged, or asleep.

Seriously? I mean, really? Am I overreacting to the obvious?

Again, anything that will prevent a woman from being violated is a good thing, so I totally applaud the product AR Wear is trying to sell. But, just look at the people to whom they are trying to market. Are there not other options that could be utilized before resulting to rape-resistant undergarments?

Humor this old man for just a moment and think about the following words…

  • Have you ever been out walking at night, alone, wishing you could feel safer?” Ladies, here is a suggestion: don’t go out walking alone at night! And if you must, why not invest in some mace or pepper spray, a German Shepherd, or even a .45 cal. semi-automatic! Believe me, if you are packing heat while walking Cujo, it will probably be the rapist who’ll need to be changing his underwear.
  • [Safer] when out on a first date. Let’s think about this one for a moment, OK? Shouldn’t you do your homework on a guy before going out with him? [For additional thoughts on this, see the comments]
  • A “night of clubbing,” or “other potentially risky situations. Again, seriously? Is anti-rape underwear really that necessary? How about let’s just avoid the nights of “clubbing” and passing out on the dance floor or in the back seat of a stranger’s car?! Good grief!
  • Normal activities that include:even if the person wearing [the underwear] had too much to drink, was drugged, or asleep.” I’m sorry, but if your normal activities include having too much to drink, getting drugged, and passing out, then you have problems that a pair of armored panties will never fix.

I don’t want to sound harsh, my friends, but it would seem that much of the need for the above product could be eliminated by smarter, wiser, more godly life choices.

Sure, there are times when bad things happen no matter what we do, but what should one expect from a lifestyle that includes regular excessive drinking, drug use, and “risky situations?”

The fact that anti-rape underwear is needed at all is sad enough. But when we add in the fact that much of the demand stems from unwise behavior, the whole idea seems tragically fatalistic.

6 Comments

Filed under abuse, America, Christian Living, Culture Wars, current events, General Observations, wisdom

Forgetful Fridays (500th post!)

Thursday Thoughts

Last week I decided it would be fun to start a new series of posts entitled “Thursday Thoughts.” Then, just like clockwork, I forgot to write anything when Thursday came back around.

Last Thursday I wrote about several things that had been on my mind, but things I didn’t want to spend a lot of time treating individually. But this time, instead of on Thursday, I will use today (Friday) to vent my mind. The things I forgot to mention on Thursday will now be mentioned on a Friday, hence “Forgetful Fridays.”

Things I Forgot

The following are some things I have been thinking about (about which I have been thinking?). Most are stories that have either been in the news or on the world wide web of lies.

“Concrete Endangerment”

If you live in Germany, I feel sorry for you; evidently you have a government that still harbors a secret love of Hitler’s old ways. You have taken the Wunderlich’s children away from them indefinitely out of fear that they may, of all the horrible things in the world, HOMESCHOOL them! O.M.G.!!! A German judge ruled that homeschooling constitutes “concrete endangerment” of children. Really?

Wunderlich1

The Wunderlich family. Children taken by German government.

However, if you live in America (like I do), a country run by liberals who idolize totalitarian governments where one man controls all, then I feel sorry for you, especially if you educate your children at home (like we do). How long do you think it will be before our Justice Department will attempt to mirror German judges? Has not our own Attorney General Holder determined that the Romeikes should return to Germany, even though the government will take away their children when they return?

Click here to read the whole news story from WND.

“Rage Spiral”

Have you ever gotten into a “rage spiral?” I have had days when one thing built upon another until I “lost it” and burst out with anger. I don’t know what it would take to send me down a spiraling vortex of rage. However, I do know what it takes to send the producer of HBO’s “Girls” into a “rage spiral.”

lena of girls

Lena Dunham

I don’t watch HBO, so I have never seen the comedy of which I speak. All I know is what I can gather from the news, and most of that tells me “Girls” is a debauched, nudity-filled bunch of garbage. But when a reporter questioned why the creator and director of the program, Lena Dunham, had to get naked so often that the producer, Jenni Konner, said she went into a “rage spiral.”

Stop and think about it! A woman goes ballistic, she gets all indignant, all because a reporter questioned why there was so much nudity in her television program! Now, to be fair the “hit piece” was intentionally cruel with regards to Lena Dunham’s body, and was rightfully labeled “inappropriate” by Konner. But what is more inappropriate, criticizing a naked woman’s body, or parading it around for profit? Good grief!

  1. Click here to read the Fox News story.
  2. The Hollywood Reporter

“Satanic Statue”

Talk about spiraling descents into total insanity and rage, where has the nation of our Founding Fathers gone? Not only do we have people who object to a Ten Commandments monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma state capital, but now the Satanists want their own monument right beside it – and we’re supposed to approve!

There used to be a day when something like this would not only be laughed out of the public forum, but those suggesting such a thing would be run out on a rail. This is not what our founders envisioned when they wrote our Constitution. This is not what they were thinking when they spoke of “freedom of religion.” And it was definitely NOT Satan who was being spoken of as the “Creator” who endows us with “certain unalienable rights.”

So here’s my thought on this: will the creators of the Satanic monument be upset or proud if/when their goat statue gets vandalized? I mean, wouldn’t that show that their followers were only acting out their individual, self-god beliefs? Unbelievable! except in a world that’s already on its way to hell in a hand-basket. I wonder if there’ll be monuments there?

    1. LA Times
    2. Huffington Post
    3. Washington Post

A Quote from Billy

Billy_Graham_008“If God doesn’t soon bring judgment upon America, He’ll have to go back and apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah!” – Billy/Ruth Graham

I totally agree.

Leave a comment

Filed under America, current events, Uncategorized

Thursday Thoughts

Today is January 2 (or 2 January, if you prefer), 2014. It is a cold, rainy day in Chattanooga, Tennessee, yet I have already been out and walked a mile and a half before my first cup of coffee. No resolutions – just doing what needs to be done.

Thursdays

Today is also Thursday…the day after Wednesday…the day before Friday…but I am not going to break out into a Rebecca Black song (although I know you want me to). No, I am going to keep my singing to myself; only my written voice will be heard.

Thursday is a day that is not quite the end of the week, but on the downhill slide from Wednesday, the middle of the week. Nothing much happens on Thursday, does it? Thursday feels like a “filler” used to make the week complete.

New Stuff

So, since it’s been a long while since I started any new series of posts, I figure why not make Thursday my random thought day? Why not make Thursday – that innocuous, boring, non-essential filler – the day when I speak my mind about whatever has been in the news that week and tick off a whole bunch of liberals? Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Why don’t we start with some random thoughts about family?

  • Carlos and Rebecca (my sister) Gomes

    Carlos and Rebecca (my sister) Gomes

    My sister (yes, I have a sister) lives in Germany and is married to a German. Therefore, I have a German brother-in-law, which is strange to think about in the light of the memory that I used to pretend to fight Germans while playing “army” as a child. I wonder what he thinks of George S. Patton?

  • One of my daughters is going to college (away from home) next year, and that leaves me in a perpetual bad mood.
  • All of my daughters like boys – which is good – but it makes my perpetually bad mood more dangerous, especially when they start talking about invitations and cake.

Here are some thoughts of mine regarding new laws that go into effect this week:

  • real light bulbDoing away with incandescent light bulbs is completely asinine.
  • Allowing boys and girls in California to choose which restrooms and locker rooms they wish to use is a recipe for sexual disaster and evidence that a perverted, sick, debauched spirit is behind an agenda to destroy the fabric of moral society. And if it is now law in California, don’t think it won’t be proposed in your own state.
  • A couple of states have now legalized the recreational use of marijuana. Now all the potheads can pack up and move from Tennessee! If we could only get Washington and Oregon to legalize crack cocaine and Meth, our whole drug-using community would head west!
  • I have not purchased Obamacare.

Books

I am going to try to read more this year, and one book that I have already started and will finish before the end of next week is The Measure of Our Success: An Impassioned Plea to Pastors (by Shawn Lovejoy). My wife saw this book on the shelf in a discount store. It only cost $5, so if it is not all that great I won’t be out much. However, from what I have already read, the author makes some painful and convicting observations.

the measure of our successThe idea of the book is that we pastors need to quit gauging our success by anything or anyone other than what God has planned for our particular ministries. Here’s an intriguing quote from page 23: “I am more convinced than ever before that most churches are not supposed to be large.” What do you think about that?

Enough for Today

Well, I could keep going and going and going, but I am already up to 602 words, and hardly anyone will read a blog post this long unless they are stalkers, true fans, or looking for something incriminating.

Check back next Thursday, if not before, to see what’s on my mind (or driving me crazy). 

1 Comment

Filed under blogging, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, General Observations, Relationships and Family

My Shepherd Will Lead

I wish I could tell you how difficult this last year has been, but I wouldn’t want to depress you. I mean, unless you are covered by some wonderful insurance plan that Obama has not already cancelled (because all plans but his are worthless), you probably can’t afford the anti-depressants and counseling.

Oh, sure, it hasn’t been all bad. And, if I were to put things in perspective, compared to others around the world my circumstances have been a walk in the park. But let me tell you, it’s been a long walk in a park that needs some serious repair.

So, with that being said, I would like to share with you the message I preached on the morning of December 29, the last Sunday in 2013. As late as two nights earlier I was in a real battle, but God picked me up and gave me the strength to throw it right back in the Devil’s face. I hope what you hear will be an encouragement to you as we face 2014.

Psalm 23 is often referred to as the Shepherd'...

Psalm 23 is often referred to as the Shepherd’s psalm. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Psalm 23 tells of the Shepherd, my Shepherd, who will lead me, provide for me, protect me, encourage me, and take me through the darkest valleys until that blessed day when I reach home. The Lord is my Shepherd…is He yours?

Psalm 23 – My Shepherd

5 Comments

Filed under current events, Future, Preaching, scary new year, Struggles and Trials

Addressing the Phil Robertson Story

I am not going to take a lot of time to address this story, especially when time is so short and the wife has a long list for me to accomplish before Christmas. However, I feel it is imperative that I at least say something.

Last night I spoke to my congregation about John the Baptist from Luke 1:17, which says:

“And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

Before the well-known and beloved Luke 2 story that tells of the shepherds in the field and the birth of Jesus, Luke tells us of one who was to come before in the spirit of Elijah, preaching truth, not holding anything back, in order to prepare the people for the coming Messiah. John the Baptist was this man, the last of the Old Testament prophets, full of boldness and fire.

Therefore, it may only be a coincidence, but I find it completely ironic that just before Christmas, when our hearts should be prepared to celebrate the coming of God to earth in human flesh, we have a man (as John MacArthur described John the Baptist) “fearlessly and faithfully proclaim[ing] divine truth in the face of ruthless opposition.” And they’re wanting his head. His name is Phil Robertson.

Phil Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” fame, a committed Christian, is being blasted and hung out to dry by the media, vehemently attacked by the gay and lesbian groups, and treated like an ugly step-child by many in the church who wish to coddle the liberal left. But what I see in Phil Robertson is the rare spirit of Elijah that points its finger in the face of a degenerate culture and says, “thou hast sold thyself to work evil in the sight of the LORD” (1 Kings 21:20).

The gay and lesbian advocacy group (GLAAD) has come out and said, “Phil and his family claim to be Christian, but Phil’s lies about an entire community fly in the face of what true Christians believe…” But it is obvious that GLAAD has no idea what “true Christians” believe, nor do they understand the type of people Jesus himself held in high esteem, for it was John the Baptist of whom Jesus commented: “Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist…” (Matthew 11:11; Luke 7:28).

So, if Jesus thought that much of John the Baptist, it would be safe to assume that Jesus, the loving Savior of the world, would have approved of John’s words. What then were some of the things John said?

In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea, And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” – Matthew 3:1-2

For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon John, and bound him in prison for Herodias’ sake, his brother Philip’s wife: for he had married her. For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have thy brother’s wife.” – Mark 6:17-18

John was bold enough, just like Elijah before him, to declare that there is such a thing as sexual sin, to say it to the face of power, and to do it even in the face of execution. What did Phil Robertson say?

(Paraphrasing 1 Corinthians 6:9-10) “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers…they won’t inherit the kingdom of God.”

Sounds like old Phil is more in line with Elijah, John the Baptist, Paul the Apostle, and Jesus Christ than GLAAD would like to admit. And if Phil Robertson must suffer persecution because of his personal beliefs, he is better off in the long run, for sure.

“Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” – Matthew 5:11-12 KJV

His reward will far exceed any paycheck Ahab&E is willing to pay. 

15 Comments

Filed under America, Christian Living, Culture Wars, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, General Observations, Struggles and Trials, World View

Silent In the Face of Weird

Elf On a Bus

It might come as a surprise to some of you, but I have a sense of humor – and I don’t mind showing it. Yes, I understand it can be uncomfortable, especially for deacons and seminary professors, and hard to understand, but humor is a gift from God.

photo (8)Therefore, I hope it does not shock you to see me dressed as a green-haired elf. Before I drove my afternoon route, I put on a wig and vest I bought at Target, along with the little red collars we had on our dogs. Needless to say, I got more than a few looks.

Different Reactions

As you can imagine, a lot of people, especially little children, got a kick out of my outfit. But some of the reactions sorta surprised me.

The elementary-age children acted pretty much the way I expected.

  • “Why are you dressed like a clown?”
    I’m not a clown…I’m an elf!
  • “Why don’t you have pointy ears?”
  • “Where are your shoes?”
    What do you mean? These are my shoes!
  • “Can I touch your hair?”
    Why? Do I ever ask to touch your hair?

Adults were a mixed bag.

  • “I like your vest,” said a lady at the McDonald’s drive-through.
  • “Did you make that?” I asked, “Is that a positive or a negative?”

But it was the teenagers that really amazed me. They epitomized our multi-cultural, politically correct society by never saying a single word. They said nothing.

As a matter of fact, most would only glance in my direction, trying not to be noticed.

Fearful Acceptance

There used to be a day when a green-haired, red-cuffed individual would be stopped by the police. There used to be a day when kids would laugh at a person dressed the way I was. There used to be a day when grown men and women would simply ask, “What in the world are you doing dressing like a fool this early in December?”

Now-a-days, strange is normal. And what is worse, society has made every one so afraid of saying anything that no one will say what most people think: “You look like an idiot!” Free speech has been silenced in the face of weird.

Sad, isn’t it. 

3 Comments

Filed under America, Christmas, clothing, current events, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, World View

Thanksgiving in the Light of Judgment Day

Happy Lord’s day (that’s Sunday, in case you wondered)!

This week we will be celebrating Thanksgiving in America, so today is a day when most Thanksgiving-related sermons will be preached.

Today at 5 pm (eastern), on a local a.m. radio station, I will be preaching once again, but you are going to have a chance to here the sermon first. How cool is that? If you so desire, you can click the link at the bottom of the page and hear a pre-recorded sermon which is scheduled to air later today.

Unlike what I regularly do, however, my radio messages are a little more unscripted (I rarely use an outline). Not that I “script” my regular sermons, but I usually don’t ad-lib. My radio recordings are a little more off-the-cuff, so to speak.

By the way, I am going to try to get a Monday Monkey episode ready for Monday (or maybe Tuesday). It has been a while since I last did one, and Mr. Monkey has been wanting to know why I have been avoiding him.

Also, I think I am going to create a new tab on my blog that will have links to all my previous Monday Monkey episodes. That way it will be much easier for you to access them, which is really a really good thing considering there are many of you who have no idea how many of them I have made (some better than others). I think I may label the tab “Monkey Archives.”

Thanksgiving Sermon

4 Comments

Filed under America, Christian Living, Christian Unity, current events, Preaching, Thanksgiving

The Would-be Veteran

Tennessee Volunteers

Please, just because I am from Tennessee, don’t mistake me for a big Vol fan. As a matter of fact, I am pretty much a non-fan, that is, I am not a real fan of any team. I’m just not a big sports guy.

Don’t be too shocked. It’s not that I dislike sports; it’s just that I have too little time to get into all the games and stats and money spent on dressing like an orange safety cone. However, when and if Tennessee ever again beats Alabama in football, you can bet I will be bouncing off the walls with unadulterated happiness.

But here’s the thing: I come from a long line of proud, patriotic, Tennessee volunteers – the kind that volunteer to serve.

We Tried

Many of my family served in the military, including one great uncle who was at Normandy in WWII. But for the last three generations on my father’s side, we were only volunteers, never veterans.

As I understand it, my grandfather, William D. Baker, volunteered at the beginning of World War 2, but was declared to be “4F” ( physically unfit for military duty). I don’t know what was wrong with him, but he was a tough man that looked like he could have whipped more than a few Nazi’s.

In the 1960’s, before the “Tet” offensive, my dad, Terry L. Baker, volunteered to go to Vietnam. Yes, before he could be drafted, he volunteered to fight. Yet, like his father, my dad was turned away from the army because he was “overweight.” Is that all? Really? My dad could bench 300 lbs., was the state heavyweight wrestling champion, competed in track and field, knew how to hunt, and was considered (along with his brother) two of the toughest, meanest boys on the river. He could have handled the Army, I’m sure.

Then, on January 17 of 1990, after two days of humiliating tests and physicals, I was turned down by the Army. Believe it or not, I volunteered for service, just like my dad and grandfather before me, but was turned away because it was believed I had glaucoma (an eye condition), which I never actually had.

Almost a Veteran

What I had no way of knowing was that exactly one year after I was turned away from the Army, one year after volunteering, Operation Desert Storm would begin. Had I been accepted, I could have been right in the middle of the conflict in Iraq. Knowing me, I probably would have been one of the few Americans killed.

tennesseeYes, I’m a true Tennessee volunteer, and that’s all I will ever be, unless America is ever invaded during my lifetime. So, I was almost a veteran, but not quite.

In the meantime, I will consider myself one those carrying on the legacy of the “Black Robed Brigade” of the American Revolution. I may never be called to take up arms against the enemies of freedom, but I can man the pulpit and let freedom ring!

God bless our veterans and the families that stayed behind waiting for their homecoming. Your sacrifices paid for the liberty we enjoy today.

May God remind us that freedom isn’t free.

 

1 Comment

Filed under America, current events, Preaching

Kissing Deer and Talking Sharks

This morning, as the first elementary children entered my bus, one child said to another, “Granny said to sit down!” Evidently, Granny had been giving some instruction on the way to the bus stop.

Teaching wisdom, one child at a time.

Teaching wisdom, one child at a time.

As we started to pull away from the stop, I glanced back to my right and saw the youngest little girl standing, along with the grandmother scowling and pointing a finger from the sidewalk. “You shouldn’t be standing,” I said, “especially if your granny said not to.”

Then, after a 2-minute story of what this little kindergartner did for her birthday, I proceeded to share with the rest of the children and her what other things they shouldn’t do. Why did I do this? I don’t know, but it was certainly interesting to here their responses.

Things You Shouldn’t Do

  • Don’t eat worms with syrup. No matter what, they don’t taste like spaghetti.
    • “I did. They taste like chicken! And they’re slippery!”
  • Don’t ever kiss a deer on the lips.
    • One girl asked, “Why not?” Another answered, “Because it might want to go out on a date with you, and dear won’t fit in a car.”
    • “I saw a video where a guy made a dear mad because he took its picture.”
  • Never take a picture of a deer until you know it has makeup on and its hair done.
  • Never take a dear, or especially a moose, out to dinner on a date.
    • “Why not?” asked one girl. “Because a moose won’t fit into your car, for sure, and they won’t serve a moose at a restaurant!” said another. I said, “And a moose has no table manners and can’t use a fork,” to which a little girl replied, “that would be a mess.”
  • Never, ever, lick a cheese grater.
    • “Why not?”
  • If a bear comes up to you and asks, “Can I scratch your back?” say, “NO!”
    • “What if it wants to drive your car?”
  • If you are ever walking by the water, and a fish sticks it head out of the water to talk and says, “Hey, come over here,” don’t.
    • “Why?”
    • “Iffa shark eva stick it head outta da watah un say, ‘C’mere, I wanna tell you somp’n,‘ DON’T DO IT!”

Wisdom

Really, it is amazing how children can show practical wisdom, even when they have no experience. All some kids know is that if it ain’t natural, like a shark trying to start up a conversation, then run away.

However, as we grow older and “wiser,” the things that used to be so simple grow more complicated. We desire the forbidden pleasures Granny used to warn us about, along with every other experience a liberated mind can dream up. We date the moose and schedule tickle fests with grizzly bears.

But in a day when men and women pride themselves in experience and boast in the knowledge gained from sin, Wisdom cries out like the little old granny from the street, “Listen to me! I’m warning you!

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” declares the Psalmist (111:10). But fools, captivated by the unnatural, politically-correct, whatever-makes-me-happy talking shark, jump into the water.

Too bad real wisdom gets left on the bus.

2 Comments

Filed under Culture Wars, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, wisdom

Trying to Understand the Undead

Halloween

I hate Halloween. But if you are a big fan, one who looks forward to the glorification of death, evil, and the grotesque, then ghoul for you. My minimal desire for bags of candy and apples bobbed for in spit-filled water is not enough to make me dress up like a satanic mass murderer, which is what most costumes seem to portray.

Actually, this time of year gets on my nerves, and one of the biggest reasons is the proliferation of horror movies. Horror movies don’t scare me that much; they tick me off! They are always full of idiots walking into the dark asking, “Buffy, is that you?” And what’s worse, so many of today’s horror flicks involve ghostly, demonic hauntings by creepy dead kids. HINT: if a soaking-wet dead girl crawls out of a well and starts climbing through your TV, change the channel (preferably to a Christian station).

On a side note, has it ever occurred to anyone that all the demonic activity pictured in horror movies is nothing more than an attempt to convince us that the spiritual realm is real?

Really, I hate Halloween. I find no pleasure celebrating the very Enemy taking my friends and loved ones to hell.

The Undead

But what I really don’t get is the “undead”…zombies…Michael Jackson’s dance partners. Can somebody help me understand the logic behind the capabilities and actions of walking corpses?

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbur...

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbury Park NJ, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There has been so much talk about zombies, lately. There have been a lot of movies and television programs devoted to grossing us out with their nastiness and appetite for human flesh. What’s the deal? Is it just an attempt to shift our attention away from the spiritual to the natural or animalistic? Who knows?

All I know is that the walking dead make no sense. Consider the following:

  1. Health. Why is it that when I have the flu I feel as good as dead, yet when a zombie is dead he feels more alive than me? If I break a bone I can’t function, but a zombie can have all his bones broken and break into an armored car! Have you seen what people die from? Why is it they have more energy once they’ve rotted away than when they were still exfoliating?
  2. Appetite. Why is it that the walking dead never seem to recognize that their fellow walkers are also human, and edible? And why are humans the only meat worth eating? Why don’t the walking dead break into grocery stores, butcher shops, and kennels? Seriously, don’t the dead understand that there is far more meat and brains in a cow?! Why eat the farmer???
  3. Blood. I’ve had too much experience in funeral homes to buy the idea that zombies coming out of graves have bright, red, flowing blood. How many walking dead have you seen dripping embalming fluid? Hmmm?
  4. Speed. Why can’t healthy people, including clumsy women in high heels, outrun people with muscles falling off the bone? Bones don’t work alone to cause movement; limbs need muscles to function. Even if one tripped over every blade of grass in an attempt to flee a rotting granny, how fast could granny be?
  5. Practicalities. If old people become zombies, do they have to keep their false teeth in order to chew their neighbor? Also, what is the life expectancy of something that is already dead? Oh, and when a zombie eats a human, where does the meat go? Do zombies poop?

The Real Undead

To be very honest, I am more afraid of my own stinking flesh than some dancer from Thriller.

“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” (Romans 7:24)

I must crucify it on a daily basis and live in the life of Jesus Christ (Romans 13:14). For if I live in the power of my own zombie-like self, I will die: but if through the Spirit I put to death the deeds of this stinking body, I shall live (Romans 8:13).

24 Comments

Filed under Christian Maturity, current events, General Observations, Humor, World View