Trying to Understand the Undead

Halloween

I hate Halloween. But if you are a big fan, one who looks forward to the glorification of death, evil, and the grotesque, then ghoul for you. My minimal desire for bags of candy and apples bobbed for in spit-filled water is not enough to make me dress up like a satanic mass murderer, which is what most costumes seem to portray.

Actually, this time of year gets on my nerves, and one of the biggest reasons is the proliferation of horror movies. Horror movies don’t scare me that much; they tick me off! They are always full of idiots walking into the dark asking, “Buffy, is that you?” And what’s worse, so many of today’s horror flicks involve ghostly, demonic hauntings by creepy dead kids. HINT: if a soaking-wet dead girl crawls out of a well and starts climbing through your TV, change the channel (preferably to a Christian station).

On a side note, has it ever occurred to anyone that all the demonic activity pictured in horror movies is nothing more than an attempt to convince us that the spiritual realm is real?

Really, I hate Halloween. I find no pleasure celebrating the very Enemy taking my friends and loved ones to hell.

The Undead

But what I really don’t get is the “undead”…zombies…Michael Jackson’s dance partners. Can somebody help me understand the logic behind the capabilities and actions of walking corpses?

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbur...

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbury Park NJ, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There has been so much talk about zombies, lately. There have been a lot of movies and television programs devoted to grossing us out with their nastiness and appetite for human flesh. What’s the deal? Is it just an attempt to shift our attention away from the spiritual to the natural or animalistic? Who knows?

All I know is that the walking dead make no sense. Consider the following:

  1. Health. Why is it that when I have the flu I feel as good as dead, yet when a zombie is dead he feels more alive than me? If I break a bone I can’t function, but a zombie can have all his bones broken and break into an armored car! Have you seen what people die from? Why is it they have more energy once they’ve rotted away than when they were still exfoliating?
  2. Appetite. Why is it that the walking dead never seem to recognize that their fellow walkers are also human, and edible? And why are humans the only meat worth eating? Why don’t the walking dead break into grocery stores, butcher shops, and kennels? Seriously, don’t the dead understand that there is far more meat and brains in a cow?! Why eat the farmer???
  3. Blood. I’ve had too much experience in funeral homes to buy the idea that zombies coming out of graves have bright, red, flowing blood. How many walking dead have you seen dripping embalming fluid? Hmmm?
  4. Speed. Why can’t healthy people, including clumsy women in high heels, outrun people with muscles falling off the bone? Bones don’t work alone to cause movement; limbs need muscles to function. Even if one tripped over every blade of grass in an attempt to flee a rotting granny, how fast could granny be?
  5. Practicalities. If old people become zombies, do they have to keep their false teeth in order to chew their neighbor? Also, what is the life expectancy of something that is already dead? Oh, and when a zombie eats a human, where does the meat go? Do zombies poop?

The Real Undead

To be very honest, I am more afraid of my own stinking flesh than some dancer from Thriller.

“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” (Romans 7:24)

I must crucify it on a daily basis and live in the life of Jesus Christ (Romans 13:14). For if I live in the power of my own zombie-like self, I will die: but if through the Spirit I put to death the deeds of this stinking body, I shall live (Romans 8:13).

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24 Comments

Filed under Christian Maturity, current events, General Observations, Humor, World View

24 responses to “Trying to Understand the Undead

  1. I don’t like halloween either. The trick or treat thing arrived this side of the Atlantic after the ET movie. Our church runs ‘Treat or Treat’ events. For the last two years we have set up in a park behind the church and we’ll be there again this year. This event is proving popular with locals and last year one made a financial gift to go towards making sure we did it again this year!

  2. Chris Jordan

    I hate Halloween, too! We provide an alternative to Halloween at our church every year, a family fun night where we the children can come and play mini-golf, fishing games, balloon darts, bean bag toss and more. We have a theme for the night (one year it was western cowboys etc, this year it’s Disney) encouraging the kids to dress according to the theme, instead of coming as devils and witches and zombies, etc.

  3. Halloween used to be much more innocent fun from what it is now. It has more and more turned into the satanic holiday it has been purported to be.

    When I was young I like the horror genre, but not anymore. Like in your article, I have come to realize how stupid and evil these movies are that glorify horrible deaths.

    • Thanks, Christopher. Yeah, if it was only a time of fun, like with harvest festivals and such, it wouldn’t bother me so much. But most of what I see glorifies everything I detest. As Christians we are told to think on things that holy, beautiful, lovely, and pure (Philippians 4:8). Why, then, should we dress up like witches, ghosts, monsters, murderers, and harlots? If it was only Disney characters and all that, that would be different; but it’s not.

  4. Nice perspective at viewing Halloween Anthony! I watched zombies film recently and didn’t think so critically like you did. As an Asian, I never actually participate in Halloween party or any activities regarding that, but I think many American themselves participate only for the fun in doing it (no belief or religion involved).

    • Thanks, agent 909 (whatever your secret agent name really is). You are correct in the reason most participate, but that is where I tend to look beyond (or below) the surface. And even if there was no spiritual context to any of it, I am still repulsed by the idea of dressing up like something evil (but then again, there’s that spiritual/moral idea popping up again). If anything, if I had to dress up as something scary, I’d go as an ex-girlfriend, or something (no cross-dressing comments allowed).

  5. Hi Anthony. For every gospel-centered reality, Satan offers a seductive counterfeit. The resurrection of Jesus Christ? A man back from the dead more alive than ever? The promise that those who believe in Him will share in his bodily resurrection? Oh, says Satan, that’s boring. What if they come back in a gross mixture of death and life. Isn’t it more scintillating to think of decaying bodies walking around in a sick parody of the resurrection? I think that’s at least part of what’s going on with the current infatuation with zombies.
    Likewise, consider vampires. The gospel-centered reality is that the Son of God GAVE His life’s blood and died a sinner’s death so that He could GIVE eternal LIFE to others. Satan’s seductive counterfeit: Don’t sacrifice yourself for others! You’re too strong for that! Model yourself after this creature who TAKES blood (life) from others, robbing them of life, to extend your own dark and wretched un-dead existence. Giving life is for losers. The strong in this universe take life from others.
    My two cents.

    • Well, your two cents just went up in value. You are exactly right. Satan would rather have the world cherish and worship bondage and death than realize freedom and life. He offers temporal gratifications with eternal expenses.

      • Grady Davidson

        Oops — word choice misfire in my response above. I should have used the word “titillating,” rather than “scintillating.”

  6. Halloween for me has always been more about kids putting on the character of someone else and having fun. The scary parts or characters are not my bag, but I get that for some older “kids” that part of the appeal is scaring someone. They enjoy the feeling of power and mystery that is there.

    I don’t hate it. I think of it as an opportunity to sit with some kids Dad at our fall festival and talk to him about his job, his babies, and his relationship to God. I get to give candy to a kid and have him look at our Church as a place where nice people are at, a safe place.

    Look I’m not saying it is wrong to hate it. It can be dark and make the occult appealing. It can also make folks think demons or their master are silly. He is not silly or fun. Inviting Satan to play is a dangerous game.

    I’m just putting forth the idea of taking Paul’s road. To the Jew be a Jew, to the Greek be a Greek, etc. Dress up like The Lone Ranger and give a kid a candy bar. Ask his dad how his relationship with God is going. Get the guys number. Call and ask him again after he has had sometime to come to the real answer.

    My 2 cents 🙂

    • I understand, Todd. You’re just a devil-worshiping Nazarene.

      Seriously, I really do understand. Even though I wrote about my “hate” of Halloween, I understand that little kids have a hard time understanding my feelings of disgust. That is why I will be wearing an afro wig Thursday morning on my bus.

      Thanks for your two cents, brother.

  7. Great post. Sadly, most churches hang up pictures of Jack-o-Lanterns and encourage costumes.

  8. I understand the reason and fun of Fall Festivals. I am not putting them down, especially if I could have the kind of fun the Skit Guys have. Here is an add for an event being held at a church I used to attend. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202383375412384&set=vb.61610721748&type=2&theater

  9. Great post! Pretty much similar to my opinion about Halloween and horror movies.

  10. My wife and I dress up, but that is mostly because we met at a Campus Crusade for Christ costume party on Halloween. Every year since we create corresponding costumes and attach scripture meanings. Ask me in a few days what we are doing this year. (though simple and silly, we are keeping it quiet sp friends guess it. I have local friends who read your blog!)

    Here is another thing to consider in relation to Halloween from a Pre-tribulation, Pre-millenial viewpoint: perhaps the focus on UFO’s and zombies over the past several decades is to help distract the world from the truth of what really happens in the rapture …

    • I am actually all that “pre” stuff, but I don’t know if associating UFO’s and zombies with my theology is a good thing. I’m already considered illiterate by my Reformed friends, so that might add “kook” to the list.

      • I was talking with a friend last night who is very Reformed (borderline hyper-Calvinist) and certain of Amillenialism. When I mentioned “What if the rise of interest UFO’s, zombies, AND spiritualism is because there will be a Pre-trib, Pre-millennial rapture, and they will all be used as reasons why the rapture did not happen?”

        “Bupkis” was his response.

  11. I don’t like Halloween. I shut my dogs up in a back room in the house, turn out all the lights. The house looks abandoned and the zomboid trick-or-treaters still ring the doorbell. Go figure.

  12. Irv Spielberg

    [Re the pretrib rapture, here’s a real scare I found on the web!]

    PRETRIB RAPTURE STEALTH !

    Many evangelicals believe that Christ will “rapture” them to heaven years before the second coming and (most importantly) well BEFORE Antichrist and his “tribulation.” But Acts 2:34, 35 reveal that Jesus is at the Father’s right hand in heaven until He leaves to destroy His earthly foes at the second coming. And Acts 3:21 says that Jesus “must” stay in heaven with the Father “until the times of restitution of all things” which includes, says Scofield, “the restoration of the theocracy under David’s Son” which obviously can’t begin before or during Antichrist’s reign. See also Heb. 10:12, 13. (“The Rapture Question,” by longtime No. 1 pretrib expert John Walvoord, didn’t dare to even list, in its scripture index, the above Acts verses! They were also too hot for John Darby – the so-called “father of dispensationalism” – to list in the scripture index in his “Letters”!)
    Paul explains the “times and the seasons” (I Thess. 5:1) of the catching up (I Thess. 4:17) as the “day of the Lord” (5:2) which FOLLOWS the posttrib sun/moon darkening (Matt. 24:29; Acts 2:20) WHEN “sudden destruction” (5:3) of the wicked occurs! The “rest” for “all them that believe” is also tied to such destruction in II Thess. 1:6-10! (If the wicked are destroyed before or during the trib, who’d be left alive to serve the Antichrist?) Paul also ties the change-into-immortality “rapture” (I Cor. 15:52) to the end of trib “death” (15:54). (Will death be ended before or during the trib? Of course not! And vs. 54 is also tied to Isa. 25:8 which Scofield views as Israel’s posttrib resurrection!) It’s amazing that the Olivet Discourse contains the “great commission” for the church but not even a hint of a pretrib rapture for the church!
    Many don’t know that before 1830 all Christians had always viewed I Thess. 4’s “catching up” as an integral part of the final second coming to earth. In 1830 this “rapture” was stretched forward and turned into an idolized separate coming of Christ. To further strengthen their novel view, which evangelical scholars overwhelmingly rejected throughout the 1800s, pretrib teachers in the early 1900s began to stretch forward the “day of the Lord” (what Darby and Scofield never dared to do) and hook it up with their already-stretched-forward “rapture.” Many leading evangelical scholars still weren’t convinced of pretrib, so pretrib teachers then began teaching that the “falling away” of II Thess. 2:3 is really a pretrib rapture (the same as saying that the “rapture” in 2:3 must happen before the “rapture” [“gathering”] in 2:1 can happen – the height of desperation!). Google “Walvoord Melts Ice” for more on this, and also Google “Pretrib Rapture Pride.”
    Other Google articles on the 183-year-old pretrib rapture view include “X-Raying Margaret,” “Margaret Macdonald’s Rapture Chart,” “Pretrib Rapture’s Missing Lines,” “Edward Irving is Unnerving,” “The Unoriginal John Darby,” “Catholics Did NOT Invent the Rapture,” “The Real Manuel Lacunza,” “Thomas Ice (Bloopers),” “Wily Jeffrey,” “The Rapture Index (Mad Theology),” “America’s Pretrib Rapture Traffickers,” “Roots of (Warlike) Christian Zionism,” “Scholars Weigh My Research,” “Pretrib Hypocrisy,” “Appendix F: Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Pretrib Rapture Secrecy,” “Deceiving and Being Deceived,” “Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty,” “Famous Rapture Watchers,” and “Morgan Edwards’ Rapture View” – most by the author of the bestselling book “The Rapture Plot” (the most accurate and documented book on pretrib rapture history which is obtainable by calling 800.643.4645).
    PS – For some final shocks Google “The Background Obama Can’t Cover Up.”

  13. Pingback: Halloween and Our Faith | Toad'sTool

  14. Pingback: The Trick-or-Treat-ing Dead – Another Christian Blog about Halloween! | New Life

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