Category Archives: Relationships and Family

Topics related to how we deal with the people God has placed in our lives.

by | June 18, 2012 · 2:17 pm

18th on the 18th

Our Anniversary!

Eighteen years ago, today, I married the most beautiful woman in the world, Valerie Riddle. I am so glad she has stuck with me, even when I didn’t deserve it, which has been most of the time.

Valerie has asked me several times in the past, “If you could do it over again, would you still marry me?” To be honest, there were times when answering that question was difficult, especially back around 1999-2001. During that time I was going through the lowest time of my life; yet, she stood by me.

But if she were to ask me that question today, the answer would be a resounding “YES!”

It takes time!

So many people get divorced after a few years of marriage, never staying in it long enough to work through the hard times. In doing so, they miss out on the treasures that years of faithfulness bring. Because they give up too early, they uproot seeds before they have time to germinate, never being able to experience the fruit of a life-long relationship taking root.

I have so many other things to do, that my schedule is bursting at the seams. I don’t have time to be sitting at the computer posting pictures and telling the world about my love story. On the other hand, there is no better time than the present, because the time I have had with her has been the best present a man could ever receive.

I love you, Valerie. Happy anniversary!

It’s been a bumpy, but wonderful ride, so far. Thank you for staying in the car with me. I’m looking forward to the rest of the trip!

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by | June 11, 2012 · 5:28 pm

Just an Anniversary

I was in the process of commenting on another blog when I looked at my iPhone and saw today’s date…

June 11.

Still Fighting the Good Fight

June 11 might not be a special day to you, but it is to me. On June 11, 1991, my dad went home to be with the Lord. He fought his fight, and finished his race. I am still fighting and running mine. And boy, the fight just got harder.

Today I start a new week as pastor with enemies. Yes, we have those. My dad had them, and so do I. I guess that’s what comes with the territory, especially when one preaches faithfully, and without compromise or apology, the sincere Word of God. Amazingly, some people get offended.

But here is the real challenge: how to you love those who hate you? It’s not easy, nor simple. It’s not even natural – it’s supernatural.

Philippians 2:5-8 KJV – “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

The mind of Christ? What does that have to do with anything? Are we supposed to let people crucify us, or something? Well, maybe, if that’s what it takes. Jesus said, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).

Now that I know who hates me, I know who to bless. And ultimately, that’s the best kind of response, because “if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head” (Romans 12:20).

My dad doesn’t have to fight anymore, but I do. Thankfully, that battle’s not mine, it’s the Lord’s.

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by | June 8, 2012 · 9:36 am

A Poem for Friday

A few minutes ago, a couple of hours since the sun peeked over the mountains and began its job of drying up the dew, I stopped by A Sojourner’s Voice. There, Robin Lawrimore posted a poem about the morning. That got me to thinking. Maybe I should write one, too.

“It’s Friday”

Eight a.m. waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go down stairs
Hot cup of tea, butter on raisin toast
Plagiarize a song by a girl with Black hair.
 
Got a mid-term that’s due tonight
Seminary’s really try’n to kick my buns.
Still gotta finish a honey-do list
Being out of work is fun, fun, fun!
 
Friday! It’s Friday! Out of work this Friday!
Studying and reading. Gettin’ ready for this Sunday.
Friday, Friday, gettin’ down on Friday.
Need to exercise and take my morning multi-vitamin for men.
 
Wife stayed up for two days straight
Now’s she’s in bed and can’t stay awake
Gotta figure out what’s wrong with her
Don’t know if much more she can take.
 
Daughter wants to ride her bicycle
Wants me to ride mine with her, too
Maybe I should finish this poem right now.
Daddy, pastor, student’s got a lot to do!
 
Friday! It’s Friday! Mail will come this Friday!
Maybe a check’s in the mail that’ll let me tithe a lot this Sunday.
Friday, Friday, gettin’ down on Friday.
Need to pray a lot and take my morning multi-vitamin for men.

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by | May 31, 2012 · 5:41 pm

Big Picture. Big Lie.

Makeup

Just the other day I went shopping with my lovely wife, Valerie. She was in the market for some new makeup, but didn’t want to spend a whole lot. So, instead of purchasing Estée Lauder from the mall, we went to Target to find something less expensive.

For the record, I totally support women wearing makeup, just as long as they are not trying to look like Tammy Faye or Lady Gaga (gag gag). Makeup is meant to enhance the natural beauty of a woman. Anything more is false advertising.

But, as I write this, the thought comes to mind, “Anthony, some people out there don’t believe in women wearing makeup.” For those people all I have to say is, “Homely is in the eye of the beholder.”

Big Picture

Once we entered Target and I purchased my usual cup of coffee from Starbucks (they have those in some stores), we turned to walk toward the health and beauty section. A few seconds later I looked up to see a very large, beautiful woman smiling at my wife and me.

I must have looked a little strange standing there…looking up…staring. But, for some reason the clarity of the photo, the flawless teeth, and the sheer size momentarily captivated me. This wasn’t like the time I was seen 10 inches away from a swimsuit calender hanging in men’s locker room. Then, I was staring at the picture of a girl in a bikini because I was convinced she looked like my sister-in-law (it was her). This time I was just amazed at the craft.

Standing next to my wife, I looked up at the giant female face and said, “You know, there are two truths that are evident with this picture: 1) that must have been an awesome camera, and 2) somebody knew how to use Photoshop.”

Big Lie

Too many men, when they look at such airbrushed perfection, fall prey to the lie that woman actually look like that. Some desire to transform their wives into what they see, or seek a new model. They trade the “fountain of their youth” for a mirage.

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Too bad most men never see past the surface. Real beauty comes from within. Perfection only comes from above.

When I looked past the picture of the super-sized super model, there in the isle was a woman who far exceeds anything created in a studio. With or without makeup, her value exceeds that of rubies (Prov. 31:10) and she is worthy to be praised (Prov. 31:30). My wife is a real beauty – the woman in the picture is just cardboard.

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by | May 11, 2012 · 9:35 am

American-Made Idol

Ten Commandments

When I first came to pastor Riverside, one of the first series of sermons I preached was on the ten commandments. Believe it or not, I had a really cool pair of fake stone tablets, and each week I would bring them in with a new commandment “engraved” upon them.

I took great care to make those “stone” tablets look as realistic as possible. That makes me think: how heavy were the real ones?  I mean, they must have weighed at least fifty pounds each! And can you imagine carrying those things down a mountain? I guess that’s what tending sheep for forty years in the wilderness can do for ya’.

No Idols

God told Moses, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). He went on to say that he should not make any images to worship or bow down to (20:4). Yet, what did Moses find when he came down and saw the children of Israel partying (Exodus 32)? A golden calf. A graven image. An idol.

So, in order to have a visual for the sermon, I made an idol. No, it wasn’t made of gold, but it’s amazing what a little tin foil, coat hangers, spray paint, and insulation foam can do. I made my own golden calf (except it looked more like a chihuahua).

When I uncovered the “golden calf” that Sunday morning, one could sense a feeling of uneasiness. “It’s fake,” I told the congregation, “so don’t feel too nervous.” In a few moments everything was fine, and the message went well.

But later that night…

The Golden “Chihuahua”

Sunday evening after church we were at home getting ready for bed, when my wife asked a question. “What are you going to do with that idol?” she said with a serious voice. “I don’t know, probably put it on a shelf in the garage.”

“Oh, no you won’t!” she replied. “You are NOT keeping that thing in the house. You either take it back to the church, or destroy it…I don’t care…just get it out of the house.”

What? Didn’t she realize how long I worked on that silly thing? Didn’t she appreciate my artistic ability, my ingenuity, my imagination? What was wrong with keeping my idol? I made it.

Conviction

Isn’t it amazing how at the turn of a moment God can get our attention? We make idols every day out of the cheapest of material. Forget the gold, we worship stuff of even less value. Our idols are nothing like the ones in the Bible, not made of solid gold, but we put them before God, nevertheless.

I was convicted. God used my wife to make a point. If I couldn’t destroy a fake idol, cheap as it was, what made me think I could do away with other idols? Real idols? The gods (little “g”) that demand my time, my attention, my worship?

Only a picture remains.

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by | April 29, 2012 · 4:00 am

When I Cry (Psalm 57:2)

Not if, but when.

I heard it said growing up, and I hear it said still today, “Real men don’t cry.” What nonsense!

Who was more of a man than Jesus? Yet He, the One who left the realms of glory to walk the path to Calvary, who willingly laid down his life for sinners, wept (John 11:35).

The Omnipotent Word made flesh; the King of Kings; the Resurrection and the Life cried at the tomb of Lazarus. If he could cry, then so will I.

And when I do…

“I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth [all things] for me” (Psalm 57:2).

Jesus wept because of a broken heart for others. I usually weep as a result of my own needs and failures. He was all-sufficient, while I am totally dependent. I need Him more than I usually admit.

And when I come to the point of crying out, if I call upon the One who hears my prayers, my cries are not in vain, nor will they be ignored. I do not call out as stranger, but as a son to his Father (Romans 8:15).

“Abba! Daddy! Help!”

Did any of you, parents, ever hear your child wake from sleep with some panic, or fear, and shriek the mother’s name through the darkness? Was not that a more powerful appeal than all words? And, depend upon it, that the soul which cries aloud on God, The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, though it have “no language but a cry,” will never call in vain. – Alexander Maclaren (1826-1910)

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by | April 28, 2012 · 12:42 pm

Courageous Commitment

“Daddy, will you dance with me?”

If you have seen the movie Courageous, then you’ll get it.

If you have not seen the movie, get it, then you’ll get it. Got it?

At 9 a.m. I was at the gym, signing us both up, and committing to work out with my 16-year-old daughter. It was hard, but worth it. She was so thrilled that I would take the time.

I just wish I could make time stand still.

Being the Dad.

 

 

 

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by | April 19, 2012 · 11:31 am

Mannerly Pets

Pet Owner?

How many of you have pets? We do. As a matter of fact, we have a 7lb., 4oz. four-legged family member named “Nugget,” and we love him very much! And for the record, there’s nothing wrong with that.

As a matter of fact, did you know that there is even a proverb that deals with animal ownership? It describes the contrast between a person who takes care of an animal and a person who is cruel and mean.

A righteous [man] regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked [are] cruel. – Proverbs 12:10

Put another way, godly people are nice to animals; wicked heathen are not. Is it any wonder many people abusers have also been animal abusers?

Why do I bring up pets? Because pets, specifically their behavior, can tell something about their owners (or “parents,” as one dog food company calls them).

Train Up a “Child”

You are probably familiar with the verse that says, “train up a child in the way he should go.”  For your children’s sake, I hope you do, because children need constant instruction and discipline. Otherwise, they will end up like Brittany Spears, Snookie, or a character from South Park.

We have done our best to train our children. They are respectful, obedient (mostly), and even manage money well. More importantly, each has an individual desire to follow Jesus. Yes, we’ve have made mistakes, but overall I have been encouraged by the results.

But the other day I noticed something about our dog that encouraged me. Nugget has manners!

Courteous Canine

I first noticed this when I began down the stairs. Nugget was in front of me, but as soon as he saw me behind him, he stepped aside and waited for me to go first. I said, “Thank you Nuggie, what a good boy!”

Later, it became obvious that every time I would walk to a door, go down stairs, or even drive through Hardees for a Saturday chicken biscuit, Nugget would wait his turn without being asked (yes, he gets one).

Why a mannerly dog? Why mannerly children? I believe I have the answer. It’s pretty simple, really.

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. – Joshua 24:15 KJV

 Christian Home – Christian Pets

It may sound totally crazy, at first, but bear with me. If your home reflects Christ, then you, and others, should even be able to see it in your pets. Yes, I am serious. (Go ahead, write hate mail.)

Pets (except cats – they think they’re gods) are known to take on the characteristics of their owners. Mean dogs usually have mean owners. Talkative birds are usually owned by women (did I say that?). Disciplined and mannerly pets reflect owners who care.

Sooooo….if you need any help coming up with a doggie devotional, just let me know. Nugget might be able to help.

Note: Our daughters feel the same way about their dogs, Baby Girl and Jack.

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by | March 18, 2012 · 11:54 pm

He Finished Well

Yesterday, which was Sunday, I preached a sermon entitled “Finish Well.” In honor of those men and women who peacefully risk their lives, running the race, sharing the love of God, I want to pay tribute to one who paid the highest price.

Tonight I read the following story: click here to read it. I have a wife and two young daughters, also. I can’t imagine their pain.

In memory of Joel Shrum, a 29-year-old English language teacher from Harrisburg, Pa., there will be no Monday Monkey. Please remember his family in your prayers.

He finished well.

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by | March 17, 2012 · 10:52 pm

Graduation: 1963

While I was studying and doing research for a paper (the proposal is due Sunday night and I can’t even decide on the subject), my wife was going through some boxes. She found something very interesting.

I thought it was worth sharing.

My father, Terry L. Baker, graduated from Kirkman Technical High School on May 26, 1963. Would you like to make comparisons to baccalaureate services of today? Check out the parts that are underlined.

What would the A.C.L.U. say?!

The Program

Place of baccalaureate service: Red Bank Baptist Church

Prelude: “The Heavens are Telling“

Processional: “God of Our Fathers“

Invocation: Pastor Ralph Norton

The Invocation Response: G. P. da Palestrina

Solo: “Just for Today” (by a student)

Scripture Reading: by Class of 1963 President of the Miracle Book Club

Congregational Hymn: “O Worship the King”

Solo: “One God” (by a student)

Baccalaureate Message: The Rev. Dr. Ralph Norton

“The Lords Prayer”: (read by a student)

Bennediction: Dr. Ralph Norton

How much of this would be allowed today? Who would go to jail for these horrible crimes against humanity? Over 220 graduates and their families went to this service, and not one complained.

Amazing.

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