When was the last time you heard a Mother’s Day song? I can’t remember one. Well, I decided to write one this evening.
I call it… “Mother’s Day”
Since my wife won’t let me sing it in church tomorrow, I put it on here for the rest of the world to hear. Hope you get a chance to sing it for your mother. As we church people say, “I hope it’s a blessing.”
And by the way, it was recorded in my kitchen on my iPhone 4.
Click “Mother’s Day” to listen. Please? Pretty please?
Filed under Relationships and Family
Cover via Amazon
I am going to do something unusual. I am going to let you read an extensive quote from I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist (Geisler and Turek). If you don’t have this book, I would highly recommend it.
Woe to you, egotistical hypocrites! You are full of greed and self-indulgence. Everything you do is done for appearances: You make pompous speeches and grandstand before these TV cameras. You demand the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats wherever you go. You love to be greeted in your districts and have everyone call you “Senetor” or “Congressman.” On the outside you appear to people as righteous, but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness! You say you want to clean up Washington, but as soon as you get here you become twice as much a son of Hell as the one you replaced!
Woe to you, makers of the law, you hypocites! You do not practice what you preach. You put heavy burdens on the citizens, but then opt out of your own laws!
Woe to you, federal fools! You take an oath to support and defend the Constitution, but then you nullify the Constitution by allowing judges to make up their own laws.
Woe to you, blind hypocrites! You say that if you had lived in the days of the Founding Fathers, you never would have taken part with them in slavery. You say you never would have agreed that slaves were the property of their masters but would have insisted that they were human beings with unalienable rights. But you testify against yourselves because today you say that unborn children are the property of their mothers and have no rights at all! Upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed in this country. You snakes! You brood of vipers! You have left this great chamber desolate! How will you escape being condemned to hell!
Oh, really? Just consider what he said to the rulers of His day…which, incidentally, were even more ruthless than our government allows.
Matthew 23:13, 23-33 RSV – [13] “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you shut the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither enter yourselves, nor allow those who would enter to go in. …
[23] “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faith; these you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.
[24] You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!
[25] “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you cleanse the outside of the cup and of the plate, but inside they are full of extortion and rapacity. [26] You blind Pharisee! first cleanse the inside of the cup and of the plate, that the outside also may be clean. [27] “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. [28] So you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but within you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
[29] “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, [30] saying, ‘If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ [31] Thus you witness against yourselves, that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. [32] Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers. [33] You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?
More Like Jesus
Let this be an example to those who serve America. Many of you say you are Christians, but talk like Jesus you do not. If more men of integrity would stand up before the nation’s leaders and call them to stand account, can you imagine what kind of country this could be?
You say it over and over, “No more politics as ususal,” but you lie…it’s always the same. Do something really different for a change: speak the truth and take a stand for right, not career or party.
Filed under America, Christian Living, Culture Wars, Preaching
In my last post I made reference to being at a ball park. For a parent of athletic children, that is the place to be on a summer day, morning, afternoon, mid-afternoon, late afternoon, evening, late evening, nighttime, and too-stinking-late-to be-up-on-a-weekend night, especially when this pastor has to preach Sunday morning. Softball tournaments are nothing but a racket. They keep you all day at a ball park so you can buy unhealthy, gut-murdering food…
But it’s goooood..
This is my question…why is it that hot dogs and nachos are better when bought and eaten at a ball park? Surely I am not the only one who feels this way. No cheap hot dog made at home really compares with the ones you spend too much money on and come cradled in cardboard. Nachos with chili and jalapeños can never taste the same made in a clean, sanitary home kitchen. These foods need volunteer workers, weekend kitchens, dust from a field, and sweat in the air to be gourmet.
Is there a spiritual lesson here? There has to be one! I am The Recovering Legalist…there has to be a point to this story, right? Maybe there is.
Matthew 15:11, 20 KJV – [11] Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. … [20] These are [the things] which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
James 3:6 KJV – [6] And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
Just after I took the above picture, some coaches and parents on the other team got angry with a call that the umpire made. Shortly after that, another call was made that made one coach curse the umpire. With justifiable indignation, the umpire ordered the coach to either leave the ball park in 30 seconds, or forfeit the game for their team. He left.
It just made me think about the food I was eating and the environment in which it was made. My health could recover from the food, but a poor testimony could take a lifetime to heal.
Oh, and one less person at the park means one less person eating all the hot dogs…
Anybody got some hand sanitizer? Preferably without sparkles?
Filed under Chili, Food, General Observations, Relationships and Family
Just sitting here at a ball game, watching my little girl hit a run-scoring double, and thinking, “It’s great to be an American.” Of course, some may disagree, especially those in other countries who don’t let girls play softball, or even show their faces (no offense, Bin Laden…no, wait, you don’t care anymore, do you?). Nevertheless, I feel a great appreciation for the blessing of being born in the United States (I even have a real birth certificate).
I also have a love for the Old South. And because I am a true Son of the South, I maintain a particular preference for a drink rarely served in other parts of the world…iced sweet tea.
It’s only a preference, mind you. I can enjoy my tea hot. I quite often, if not regularly, enjoy unsweet tea. I can even drink it out of dainty cups or plastic jugs (must be my moonshine heritage). However, two things have to be present in order to make my tea consumption a magical, patriotic, caramel-colored celebration of leaf-juice perfection…
There is no wrong or wronger way to drink tea. The English have their fancy ways, as do the Chinese. But what makes drinking tea right, at least from a Southern perspective, is not just the temperature: it’s the addition of frozen cubes of water walled ’round by a jar meant to preserve food for future generations. That’s pure Southern cuisine.
Again, this is all about preference. If I were not a blood relative of someone who died while wearing gray, it would not be strange for me to prefer tea with cream and cookies. On the other hand, my preference identifies me. My preference hints at where I come from. My preference links me with others who love iced tea. My preference helps confirm my birthright.
Should it be any different for a Christian?
How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea sweater than honey to my mouth! – Psalm 119:103
Dear believer, can you be identified by YOUR preferences?
Filed under America, Christian Living, Food, salvation, Southern Baptist, Uncategorized
Warm weather is just around the corner, you know. And with warm weather comes one of the more annoying things in life…
FLIES!I don’t want to gross you out with all the stuff that flies do, but I could. The worst part is that in order to eat, they have to regurgitate stomach acid onto the food source (your food), disolve it, then suck it back up. In the process, whatever was left in the gut of the fly from its last meal (road-kill) just got puked onto yours.
Now THAT is DISGUSTING!
Because flies are so nasty, annoying, and ever-present, the writer of Ecclesiastes chose to use them in an illustration. He said, “Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: [so doth] a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom [and] honour” (Ecclesiastes 10:1).
Now, what does that mean? Well, an apothacary is someone who made perfume, or ointment. Some of these ointments could take a long time to create, not to mention use a lot of costly ingredients in the making. If left uncovered, the sweet smell would attract flies. Only one landing in the ointment could cause it to spoil and create a foul odor. Losing its beautiful smell, the ointment was no longer capable of doing what it was designed to do.
Like the ointment of the perfume maker, our reputations (testimonies) are hard to come by, but easy to ruin. All it takes is just one little mistake, mistesp, or sin to cause a big stink. This is what the writer of Ecclesiastes was trying to say. Watch out for the little sins that can ruin your hard-earned reputation. Keep the lids on and the screens closed.
The Fly Song (Dead Flies)
A few years ago, in a moment of creativity, I stayed up late one night putting a song together on my 8-track. A while later, my friend Roy Cavender came and laid down the lead guitar track. I’m going to let you listen to it, but you need an open mind and a sense of humor. Maybe one day I will have the time and money to take it to the studio, along with some other works recorded late at night when I should have been asleep.
Click the link below to listen! Then, by all means, tell me what you think!
Filed under Christian Living, General Observations, Life Lessons, Uncategorized
At some point a few years ago, someone coined the phrase, prostitot. As you may have figured out, the word is a combination of “prostitute” and “toddler.” It refers to young girls dressing like older girls, but not in appropriate ways. More often than not it is meant to refer to middle school girls who dress like 21 year olds out to “hook up.”
Sadly, there ARE moms who WANT their little girls to look like prostitots. An example can be seen on a reality TV show that glorifies the insanity of baby beauty queens. Little girls, young enough to have the maternity ward bracelet still on their ankles, are turned into ruthless little competitors obsessed with everything from makeup to staying thin. Sadly, if it were left up to the kids, they would be out on the playground getting dirty. But with mentally disturbed mothers and fathers exhibiting twisted parental skills, the only thing these little girls are allowed to play are the judges and crowds. Frankly, I don’t care what people submit as reasons for this – it’s still wrong, unwise, and dangerous. The picture to the right does not do justice to the rampant sexuality that these little girls are being trained to exude, all in the name of being popular.
Now, odds are not many women are submitting their little girls to this kind of abuse (yeah, that’s what I call it). On the other hand, actual trends should be quite disturbing, nevertheless. Young girls today are more sexually expressive than ever before. Access to the internet and smart phones is allowing them to post and receive adult material (including self-made stuff). Clothing is becoming more revealing and makeup more alluring as time goes on. Yet, many moms are just going along with the fun, while daddy is either clueless, or forced to go along for the ride. The need to be popular, pretty, and sexy is invading the middle school.
And it’s getting bad.
It is getting so bad that even liberal women, like Jennifer Moses, are writing in the Wall Street Journal about their concerns. In an article entitled, “Why Do We Let Girls Dress Like That?” Ms. Moses lamented the fact that many moms are allowing their 12-and 13-year-olds to dress “like prostitutes,…but pay for them to do it with [their] AmEx cards…” She wonders what kind of message parents are sending to their children when they encourage children to look like girls on the prowl.
[It’s] easy for parents to slip into denial. We wouldn’t dream of dropping our daughters off at college and saying: “Study hard and floss every night, honey—and for heaven’s sake, get laid!” But that’s essentially what we’re saying by allowing them to dress the way they do while they’re still living under our own roofs.
According to Jennifer Moses, the reason for all of this is, “with the exception of some Mormons, evangelicals and Orthodox Jews, scads of us don’t know how to teach our own sons and daughters not to give away their bodies so readily.” Now THAT’S an interesting thing to say, isn’t it?
I don’t want to speak for the Mormons, Jews, or Muslims (especially the Muslims who just burned 50 churches in Ethiopia this week), but in spite of what all the liberals have to say, the Bible has some good advice when it comes to rearing children. It even instructs against dressing like a prostitute. Imagine that!
The Bible?
The problem is that many parents have no idea what the Bible says about anything. They never read it, much less attempt to apply its principles to parenting. Too often parents want to let their children make their own decisions with regard to clothing, friends, sexual choices, etc. Rarely is it the case that they stop and consider the reasons for sexual purity before marriage. Rarely do they consider why girls should dress modestly, not seductively. Today, even Christians are having a hard time distinguishing between what is culturally acceptable or socially popular, and what is actually destructive.
![[GIRLS]](https://i0.wp.com/si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/OB-NC842_GIRLS_G_20110318185823.jpg)
Why do women want their daughters to dress seductively? Do they want the boys to look at them? Do they want the boys to think inappropriate thoughts? Why is it that so many women are allowing their daughters to play with fire? King Solomon advised his son, “Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids” (Proverbs 6:25). The reason was pretty simple: there are always consequences to lust.
Stop and think about it, moms. When you allow your girls to dress like eye candy, what do you expect boys with racing hormones to do? They sin. As a matter of fact, Jesus said,
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. – Matthew 5:27-28 KJV
Does it make you comfortable to think that your daughter in a miniskirt and high-top boots just may be causing another mother’s son to commit adultery? It is that serious, you know. Of course, let it be said that it takes two to tango. Boys should be taught to keep their hormones in check. They should learn from Job who said “I have made a covenant with my eyes…”
Now, more than ever before, I believe it is time for the mature and godly men and women to step up to the plate. The younger men and women need to know what this world is really about. So many mothers and fathers are unaware of the dangers that lie in wait for their little boys and girls. They need some mature men and women to come alongside them and say, “look, dear, this is what will happen if you continue down this path.” The Apostle Paul told Titus that the people of Crete needed the same thing.
You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self‑controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self‑controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self‑controlled. – Titus 2:1-6 NIV
In response to the article by Jennifer Moses, a critical piece appeared in Salon magazine. Mary Elizabeth Williams labled Moses as “guilt-wracked.” She also said of her own daughters:
I want them to believe that their sexuality isn’t something to be afraid of, to be doled out stingily and grudgingly…And I wish someday for my daughters — and their friends, both the girls and the boys — what plenty of us not named Jennifer Moses have been able to achieve: a lifetime of healthy self-esteem, varied experiences and zero regret. (emphasis mine)
Well, I guess we know who else hasn’t read Proverbs 5, 6, and 7, huh? Good luck with that “zero regret” thing.
Links:
http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/03/21/wall_street_journal_tween_sluts/index.html
Filed under Christian Living, clothing, Culture Wars, General Observations, World View
Recently, I came across a good example of legalism in its purest form. Let me share it with you.
When I talk about legalism, I usually talk about things within the realm of Christianity. There are, however, legalistic people in all walks of life, and even in other religions. Just Google “legalism” and you will find out. But from a Christian perspective, legalism is the judgmental attitude that determines another’s spirituality (level of maturity in the faith) by how he is complying with a man-made list, whether the compliance be actual, or perceived. Legalism judges the heart based on an individual’s performance, even when the performance has nothing to do with grace.
Also, since legalism doesn’t focus on the heart, little room is left for error. Legalistic people are rarely compassionate or merciful to others who see things even a little differently. And when it comes to those who are non-compliant on the inside of the camp, they are brutal and unforgiving.
Legalists and chickens are cousins – they pick their wounded to death.
I am not a big fan of Hollywood or the Nashville music scene. I have seen and experienced just enough to know that it is a world of cut-throats and back-stabbers only looking to make a buck. Rarely, in that world, is anything real. It’s mostly fabricated “PR” meant to manipulate the consumer. It is a racket that doesn’t care if it destroys what it uses, as long as somebody gets rich. That is where you can find the Cyrus family.
GQ tells all.
Well, not long ago an article was published in GQ magazine that detailed Billy Ray Cyrus’ loss of hope – Destiny Hope, that is (Destiny = Miley Cyrus = Disney’s Hanna Montana). At the time of the article, Billy (Miley’s real-life dad) was going through a painful divorce and a fallout with his famous daughter. It seemed that Billy had had enough of being the fall-guy and his daughter’s friend. He was beginning to see that moving to L.A. might have been a big mistake, and that being a better father and husband should have been his top priority. The GQ piece (click for link) was full of apparent pain and regret – totally sad, albeit half-expected.
Since then, it seems that the Cyrus family is getting back together and everything is getting worked out. However, the reality is that we really don’t know what the reality is. When one reads the article in GQ, then looks at the quick turn-around of events, including a hand-in-hand stroll while shopping caught on film (Miley, her mother, and grandmother out shopping in the open – yeah, right), it’s hard to not think that people with a lot to lose are on defcon-level damage control.
Whatever…the point is this…
Daniel, an intelligent blogger who publishes ReflectionsandMeditations.com, wrote a sympathetic piece (“The D@*# show destroyed my family”) referring to the above article. It was not a mushy apology for Billy Ray Cyrus’ actions or poor parenting choices, but a call to try to understand and learn from what happened. In response, a self-proclaimed “liberal” woman assailed Daniel for showing any pity for Cyrus.
No offense to you, but I think it is a crock of poop that you feel some sort of sorry for him or that your heart goes out to him…I ultimately hold her father mainly responsible. He could have stopped it and not allowed this to happen. But he didn’t. He continued to allow his underage daughter, for the majority of the show she was underage, to act on the show and to her detriment not to her advantage!
Tsk tsk tsk. [emphasis added]
Now, ironically, after looking at her own blog, Miss “Tsk-Tsk” does not seem to be a mirror image of Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady.” On the other hand, she does exhibit a classic example of legalistic thought. Here you have a man who has messed up, but is now sorrowful and repentant, and all some want to say is “Tsk tsk tsk” for showing sympathy. All I can say is “sad sad sad.”
Pray, don’t kick.
Don’t kick a man when he’s down, people! Pray for him! Intercede for Billy Ray and his family. Who is to say how he or she would have handled the winds of temptation while in the midst of the hurricane? He’s aware who the enemy really is:
Just before moving out to Los Angeles, the whole family had been baptized together by their pastor at the People’s Church in Franklin, Tennessee. “It was Tish’s idea,” he remembers. “She said, ‘We’re going to be under attack, and we have to be strong in our faith and we’re all going to be baptized…'” And there, driving to work each day in the City of Angels, was this sign. “A physical sign. It could have easily said ‘You will now be attacked by Satan.’ ‘Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness…'”
Do you really see it in such clearly spiritual terms—that your family was under attack by Satan?
“I think we are right now. No doubt. There’s no doubt about it.” – from the GQ article
Billy Ray’s story reminds me of the following verses in which God was speaking of Israel. Their example should be a lesson to us:
“Because My people have forgotten Me, They have burned incense to worthless idols. And they have caused themselves to stumble in their ways, From the ancient paths, To walk in pathways and not on a highway, To make their land desolate and a perpetual hissing; Everyone who passes by it will be astonished And shake his head. – Jeremiah 18:15-16 NKJV
But Billy Ray’s story also reminds me of another verse – the words are from the Holy Spirit to all of us:
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. – Galatians 6:1 KJV
A couple of years ago, when gas prices were first getting out of control, I was inspired to write this song. It was never meant to be a serious recording. Now, the message of the song, even though it was meant to be a joke, is more true than ever.
What happened is this….
I was working on some drum kit sounds, when all of a sudden the beat brought out of me the word “gasoline.” I just started singing it to myself, but then recorded it on top of the drums. Before long, I had a whole choir of different voices which I made up just for fun.
Then, again for fun, I decided to add the lead vocal. I do not consider myself a rapper, nor do others. All I did was make up the words on the spot just to go along with what was already recorded. I did not intend to write a song.
Since I recorded this, only for fun, I have gotten a lot of laughter, but a few sneers. Most people understand that your typical Baptist preacher doesn’t go around singing songs like this (It ain’t Southern Gospel or Praise and Worship). On the other hand, there are a few “legalists” out there who think that because this song does not reference any doctrinal truth, it is garbage and detrimental to my testimony. For some reason, Christians can’t say, “Ooo baby!” I am sorry they feel that way. I was thinking of my wife when I sang this. She’s MY baby, so THERE.
Lighten up and have a little fun!
Sometimes the only way to deal with sorrow and pain in this world is to laugh in its face. Even when the pain is so bad you can hardly bear it, laugh anyway. Those who can’t laugh lose hope. Even though we may not have much hope of gasoline prices ever coming down again, we can still have hope in the Lord. In all things “praise the Lord,” and just laugh. What have you got to lose, but a frown?
Click here for the “Gasoline” song 01 Gasoline
Please, respond and let me know what you think. Share it if you would like. It is copy-written, though, so if you make money with it, please remember I have a wife and kids (and know a lawyer or two).
Filed under Christian Living, Do not judge
Every once in a while we need to re-examine what we do. In this case, I would like to re-examine….
I have been playing music since my early years. Even before I could play an instrument, I would often sing with my mom and dad at different church services and revivals. So, especially with all the later experience of playing with 7 different groups over 25+ years, I should know a little about being on stage.
One of the things about playing music in front of a large audience is the adrenalin rush you get when everything goes just right, especially when the crowd responds with thunderous applause. Ask any musician or singer who has been there and done that…there’s nothing quite like it. Some have even compared it to a sensual experience that could be felt physically, almost like the effects of a drug.
Why is that? What would make a person feel so good at the reception of applause, screams of praise, worship? Worship? Yes, that’s what I said….worship. The reason it feels so good may be because it is too good; too good for us.
Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. – Revelation 4:11 KJV
Please don’t think that I am coming down on Christian music, or anything like that. The last thing I would want to do is rip groups like Building 429, Third Day, or Casting Crowns, for example. But on the other hand, even Christian groups (and preachers, conference speakers, pastors, evangelists, etc.) need to re-examine, every now and then, Who is worthy of all praise.
Recently, at a Christian college basket ball game, I witnessed something that almost made me sick. Even my little girl thought it was strangely inappropriate. For the rendering of the national anthem, a solo electric guitarist stepped out onto the center of the court. Evidently trying to emulate Jimmy Hendrix, the Christian-school rocker proceeded to pitifully destroy The Star-Spangled Banner. But it was the ending of this amateurish exhibition that made me nauseous and indignant.
At the part of the tune where the lyrics would read, “o’er the land of the free,” the little ham hammed it up by repeating that measure three times, at least, each time going up an octave on the fret board. The worst part was when he stopped, before the last progression, and motioned to the crowd with out-stretched, beckoning hands, pleading for a louder response from the fans. Who were we supposed to be applauding, the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice, or this wanna-be Hendrix?
Seriously think about this: when Christian musicians play on stage to adoring fans who have paid money to attend a well-publicized event, and the lead guitarist shreds four measures from the latest top 20 hit, who is receiving the praise? How can we do this appropriately in light of the above verse? Are we sharing in God’s glory, honor, praise? Maybe that’s why it feels “too” good.
Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)
This is just a suggestion to all my friends on stage, whatever you do. Re-evaluate what you are doing. Make sure that your efforts to win the lost; to bring the congregation into a heart of worship; or to turn all eyes upon Jesus, do not make YOU the only object in their line of sight. This ain’t Wayne’s World, and we shouldn’t be Aerosmith.
Filed under America, Christian Living, General Observations, self-worth, worship
Recently, like this morning, I was giving some thought to using images from the web on my blog. Some pictures that I have used are 
in the public domain. Others are ones that I have taken with my own camera. However, most are others which I have pulled from Google Images and linked back to the original poster/photographer…most of the time.
Well, in an effort to better comply with the Fair Use Act, not to mention avoid copyright infringement, I am going to ween myself of such abuse, intentional or not, by DRAWING my images…..at least for this post.
There must be a virus going around. It either started with an episode of “NCIS” that showed two of the lead characters, Ziva David and Tony DiNozzo, sifting through the puke of drunks; or it started after everybody in the city ate at the same Chinese resturant. I really have no idea. All I know is that there is something causing people everywhere to start throwing up.
Just yesterday, my wife called me on her cell, her voice high-pitched and quivering, “Anthony (it’s never good when she calls me by name), Haley just threw up…in the car…and it is bad! What should I do?” I responded with a suggestion sure to go down in the annals of history as one of the most logical and reasonable statements known to man….”Clean it up!”
“Oh, Honey (now she calls me ‘Honey’), it’s all over…the seat…the dash….the carpet……..the window and door…and it smells reeaaalllyy bad!”
Does anyone want an old Cadillac? How do you clean a mess like that? Fortunately, for some reason, like as if she was transporting a toddler with a potty-training problem, Valerie thought to bring a change of clothes (for Haley) and some cleaning wipes. Unfortunately for the Cadillac, it now smells like puke AND diaper wipes. Honestly, you could probably get it cheap.
I put my bus in gear (I had stopped to talk on the cell phone), drove to the elementary school, then picked up my 25+/- kids. Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as they got on one yelled, “Eeewww! Somebody puked!”
One of the problems with children regurgitating on a school bus is that you have multiple other children with weak stomaches. Need I say more?
So, now I have a Cadillac and a bus flowing with virus-laden, acid-laced chicken soup. It happened again on the bus this morning. I blame it Obama. Why? Why not? It’s either that, or it’s payback for my wife having to clean the car and the daughter on the side of the road.
Yep, I’ll just blame Obama. My payback for his blaming President Bush for everything.
Click to Order
The Recovering Legalist 