Tag Archives: School bus

by | May 5, 2016 · 6:00 am

Girl Logic 101

A Pedagogical Surmise

As most of you are aware, I drive a school bus, and on my school bus there are several young girls who love to make fun of their male counterparts. With regularity they repeat a little rhyme which is suppose to show that girls are not only smarter, but inherently more capable of seeking an education.

They claim: “Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.“

jupiter

Jupiter. Credit: HubbleSite.org

If that is so, then the following points are in order:

1. Don’t you think that it takes a little more knowledge to go to Jupiter than to college? One requires the use of a multi-billion-dollar space ship; the other your daddy’s car.

2. In order to have acquired the technical skills to travel to Jupiter, the boys must have already attended a fine engineering college or university, maybe even grad school? Then they must have been able to pass the extremely demanding requirements to be accepted into the space program. And what is it you’re studying in college?

3. If the boys now have the ability to travel to where NASA has yet to plan, and if the girls have yet to finish college, there is evidently a MASSIVE learning gap between the two. Therefore, should they get “stupider” while on Jupiter, and yet still (by implication) have the ability to navigate a return trip to earth, then they still will have retained a cognitive advantage over Buffy and Bambi, the bantering sorority sisters.

4. “Stupider” is not a word. Therefore, ladies, I would suggest you enroll in some remedial English classes before you dive into the full-blown college stuff. Knowledge is power!

So, girls, what’s your point?

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by | April 27, 2016 · 10:10 am

Messin’ Wid Widdle Minds

Would-be Grandpa

I’m not a grandfather, but I act like one. You know, the kind of old guy that says what he want to say when he wants to say it, then blames others for not understanding his wisdom? That’s me. I’m an up-and-coming codger.

DSC_1390Grandfathers are also notorious/famous for telling tall tales, embellishing the facts, and leaving grandkids confused about actual historical events. Of course, the point of those stories is to keep a kid’s attention for more than 30 seconds; the straight truth can be boring at times.

So, even though I’m not literally a grandpa, I play one on the school bus. It keeps me entertained.

The Conversation

Many times on Facebook I share short little conversations I’ve had with children on the bus (they say the darndest things, you know). However, today I’m skipping Facebook and going straight to the blog.

I’m sure all of you are gonna hate me after you read this.

Me: Good morning.

5th Grade Boy: Good morning.

Me: How are you feeling today? You holding up?

Boy: What? Yeah, I’m ok. Why?

Me: I mean, it must be pretty hard; I heard the bad news.

Boy: What bad news?

Me: About your goldfish dying.

Boy: What? I don’t have a fish. At least not anymore. I haven’t had a fish in a long time.

Me: So it died.

Boy: I don’t know. I guess.

Me: Well I’m proud of you for taking it so well.

Boy: Uh, ok.

Me: And I heard about your cat, too. That was horrible.

Boy: Huh? What about my cat? Nothing happened to the cat.

Me: Well, I heard it died in a horrible freak lawnmower accident. I know that must be hard on you.

Boy: What? My cat didn’t die in a lawnmower accident! He just ran away.

Me: Ok. If that’s what they tell you. You believe that.

         (temporary silence)

Boy: Guess what!? (says the boy to another kid in a seat beside him) I had a cat die in a freak lawnmower accident! Cool, huh??

I pity my grandchildren, don’t you?

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by | March 10, 2016 · 9:35 am

A Given Example

“For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done unto you.” – John 13:15

Every Christian has a particular place of influence. God has chosen to place me within a 33,000 lb. rolling metal box full of children. Sometimes I have wondered “why?” The answer is pretty simple: “For I have given you [as] an example…”

In the above verse it was Jesus who was telling his disciples that He was showing them how to act, how to serve. Jesus had just washed their feet in an act of true humility and grace. What was His point? If the King of Glory can be a servant, so can we.

But not only has Jesus set an example for us to follow, He has given each of us the responsibility to be an example. He wants us to do as He has done unto us.

The Apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Spirit, told Timothy, “be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). Why is it so important to be an example? Because others are always watching.

As a Christian bus driver, I am always being watched. I am being watched by not only students, but also parents, teachers, and co-workers. Because I am being watched, it is important that I mirror the humble example set by Jesus. As a matter of fact, my example in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity, and humility is the only way to witness when I can’t speak openly of my faith.

One thing that may be hard to understand, but should be encouraging, is that no matter where the Christian goes, so also goes the Holy Spirit. It is our very presence that can make a difference in the lives of others when we do the humble, mundane activities of life in a Christ-like way. The lost can “see” Jesus in us. I pray these kids see Jesus in me, even if I’m not allowed to speak of Him.

Each new year I look at all the empty seats and wonder, “Who will sit here?” Every seat represents a soul. Every seat represents an eternal future known only to God. And here, alone in the bus, I ask God to make me an example…one that somehow makes a positive impact on someone now, and for eternity.

Be an example where YOU are.

 

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by | January 22, 2016 · 10:42 am

“The Worst Field Trip Guide”

Because of the recent bad weather (or whatever it’s supposed to be), a field trip I was scheduled to run was cancelled. With that in mind, I thought you might enjoy a selection from my little book Life Lessons from the School Bus. The following is “Stop #15.” And, yes, I did all the illustrating 🙂

One day I transported 80 kindergartners on a field trip to a mountain forest. Do you have any idea how loud 80 excited 5 year-olds can get when confined in a 40ft.-long steel box on wheels?

Teacher Talk

I couldn’t help overhear the advice school teachers were giving to the little crumb crunchers on the bus, then later after they unloaded. One warned, “Don’t pick anything up from the ground; you won’t be able to keep it, anyway.” Another said, “Don’t bounce on the swinging bridge; just look over the side.” Seriously? How can you tell a 5 year-old not to jump on a swinging bridge and then expect him not to jump on the swinging bridge?

SIDE NOTE: I remember when our oldest daughter, Alicia, who was around 12 or 13 at the time, went with me to visit the old capital building in Frankfort, Kentucky. In that old landmark is a genuine floating staircase on which Alicia decided to jump up and down. I asked, “What are you doing?” She calmly replied, “Trying to see if it will fall.” I said, “Two things…First, it’s been here since 1827 and hasn’t fallen, yet you think your scrawny self is going to break it? Second, why would you want to be on it if you could make it fall?”

Anyway… the best piece of advice from the teachers was clear enough: “Do NOT get off the trail!” But again, honestly, how many kids actually listen to instructions that make sense? I mean, you take a child that’s never been out of the suburbs to a forest with plants taller than their apartment buildings and you expect them not to run amuck? Therefore, I decided to speak up and add some clarification to the teachers’ warning. I said, “Because if you get off the trail, we might have to send the DOGS after you.”

Who knew one little girl was afraid of dogs? I didn’t! …Cry baby.

Bad Advice

So, that got me to thinking: what would be the worst advice to give 80 children before a trip into the woods?

  • photo 3 (4)Don’t worry about your lunch box; the forest is full of pretty berries.
  • As long as the animal is smaller than you, go ahead and pet it. It won’t mind.
  • Hey, bounce on the swinging bridge! It’s just like a trampoline.
  • Of course! Rules are meant to be broken.
  • Bears? What bears? This is Tennessee, kid. We don’t have bears. You’re thinking of Chicago.
  • I don’t care what your mom said, poison oak is a hoax. Don’t your parents have oak furniture? Does it make you itch? See, she lied.
  • Who can get closest to the edge? Let’s find out.
  • Whatever you do, don’t stay on the trail. Trails are for babies.
  • Snakes are overrated, misunderstood jump ropes. They want you to play with them.

Life Lesson

Thankfully, when it comes to the wilderness of life, there is One who always gives good advice.

In his famous Psalm 23, David wrote, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” God urges us to stay on the path that He has already walked, which is why Jesus said in Matthew 4:19, “Follow me.”

He knows the difference between good fruit and the forbidden kind.

Route Suggestions

  • Don’t give vague instructions to children; they need specifics.
  • Go check out the old capital building in Frankfort, Kentucky – but don’t jump on the staircase.
  • Never get to the point where you are too proud to listen to instructions or advice. For example, you may have been down this road before, but your tour guide has been down it more recently. There may have been some changes of which you are unaware, like a washed out bridge or recently released bears. Oh my!
  • Read Psalm 23. Was David walking alone? How could this Psalm relate to your life?

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by | August 5, 2015 · 6:06 pm

Hiding In Plain Sight

Back in 2010 (I think) I wrote a post that later became the basis for a story in my book, Life Lessons from the School Bus. If you don’t yet have a copy (you can order one by clicking on the picture), the following story, “Stop #13,” can be found on pages 45-46.

The reason that I am sharing it with you now is because today was the “kick off” day for our local school bus drivers. The most important and most repeatedly-stressed point was safety. I’m sure you’ll get the connection.

The Story

As you can see in the picture, a typical school bus has two mirrors immediately to the left of the driver window (besides the convex mirror below). With mirrors everywhere, driving is made much safer and easier, even in heavy traffic. What you don’t see is what is on the other side of the mirrors.

(This picture at the very spot an accident could have taken place.)

I was beginning to exit a gas station directly across the street from another station, and a Hardee’s. I looked in every direction and checked my mirrors. Then, as I started to pull out, an 18-wheeler appeared out of nowhere…directly in front of me! It had been hiding behind the mirrors.

Take a look at the picture. Right behind the top mirror sat a Peterbilt. I never saw it. What saved me was taking my time and being cautious. Had I rushed on forward I may have pulled right into the path of that big truck. Only going slow and expecting the unexpected made the difference.

The Lesson

So many tragedies in life could be avoided if only we would take the time to “consider our ways.”

“Now therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways” (Haggai 1:5 KJV).

Do we stop to think about where we are going? Do we take the time to make sure there is nothing hidden behind the obvious? Sometimes our judgment can be clouded by the determination to move forward with our plans. Wisdom understands that the Enemy loves to capitalize on things hidden.

For example, how many people have fallen into financial ruin because they rushed into a business deal or bought something too expensive? Many times there are dangers lurking in the fine print or hidden in words we don’t take time to understand. Even though the path may look clear, it never hurts to take one more look before proceeding.

Ironically, big dangers can hide behind the very things meant to point them out.

Route Suggestions

The following are a few suggestions to help you navigate the route of life:

  • Never get too comfortable behind the wheel.
  • Never make quick assumptions based on past experiences.
  • Never let someone rush you into making an uninformed decision.
  • Read Psalm 119:105…”Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” How important is it to have a light when driving down a dark and unfamiliar road? Where does this verse say we can find light for the road of life?

The road of life can be dangerous place, dear reader. Why not follow the One who not only knows the way, but IS the Way?

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by | January 29, 2015 · 10:17 am

My 15 Minutes

Fame

photo (40)Once the weekly community paper came out yesterday, I was famous for a moment or two. Just this morning, as I was paying for a cup of coffee at the gas station, the lady behind the counter asked, “Weren’t you in the paper?” “Yes, that was me,” I replied. But I still had to pay for the coffee.

Click HERE to read the article.

The kids on my bus were thrilled to see their bus driver in the news paper. “You’re famous!” “We’ve got a famous bus driver!” One little girl even took my copy of the article I had picked up that morning and never gave it back – she was way too excited, poor thing.

So, yes, I was on the front page of a little paper, got a friend request on Facebook from someone locally famous, and paid for my own coffee. Amazing what can happen when you write a book.

Lasting Notoriety 

But no matter how famous I become down here on this earth, fame is fleeting. Next week there might be a student, parent, or teacher who will comment on my recent notoriety, but in a few days it will be history – I’ll be non-famous again.

What matters most is that my name is not written down on the pages of some local rag, or even the New York Times best-seller list (don’t I wish), but that my name is written down in heaven (Luke 10:20).

“And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is [the book] of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.” – Revelation 20:12 KJV

I’ve had my 15 minutes of fame a few times over, and hardly nothing remains to show for it. On the other hand, however, my name has been written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, and that’s notoriety that will last forever – and I didn’t even do anything to deserve it.

I wonder if there’ll be coffee in heaven? If so, I bet it’ll be free 😉

 

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by | December 8, 2014 · 1:56 pm

Mr. Monkey Endorses My Book

If you have been waiting to hear glowing endorsements before purchasing my new book Life Lessons from the School Bus, then wait no longer.

On today’s edition of “Monday Monkey” Mr. Monkey will share a few words regarding the book and our friendship.

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by | November 17, 2014 · 6:30 am

A Song for Bus Drivers: “The School Bus Man Can”

The following story is not one that I included in my new book. But if there is a follow-up edition in the future, maybe I’ll consider adding a CD.

A Song was Needed

Several years ago, as the school year was coming to a close, a video was put together to share with all the drivers in the county. The person putting the video together asked if anyone had any music they would like played in the background.  I said, “I DO!”

You see, a few weeks earlier I had sat down with my 8-track digital recorder and put together an ode to bus drivers. I even enlisted the help of my two girls (they sang backup and made all the noise). Even though it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, there were within it were certain elements of truth.

This Is A True Story

One day, just when the morning routes were coming to an end, a desperate call came over the 2-way radio.  At first, it didn’t make sense, or at least it didn’t seem like much about which to be concerned. All of a sudden, like the moment you realize the unbelievable is real, the subject of the distressing radio transmission becomes painfully obvious.

Have you ever been walking through Wal-Mart and seen somebody that made you say to yourself, “What in the world was she thinking?” Well this was one of those moments, only the audio kind. Honest as a heart attack, this is how the conversation went…

Dispatcher:  “What number is this?” (in other words, the dispatcher was asking for the number of the bus)

Bus Attendant:  “Number ONE! Not TWO! I gotta go PEE! PLEASE let me go PEE!!“

If I’m lying, I’m dying.

No joke, an attendant on a special needs bus got on the radio and asked permission to get off and go relieve herself. She literally pleaded and begged over the airwaves. But the craziest thing about all of this is that she wasn’t the only adult on that bus; she wasn’t even the dadgum driver! There was no need for her to call in and ask permission to go to the bathroom! She could have gone “number one” any time she wanted!

How embarrassing.

Folks, here is a lesson for you: when you have to go “potty,” keep it to yourself!

So, enjoy the song. Feel free to pass it on. I can’t make anything off of it anyway, you know. Sammy Davis, Jr. might come back an haunt me.

Click here to listen The School Bus Man Can

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by | May 9, 2014 · 12:40 pm

Life Lesson from the School Bus #9 (Making a Way)

This post is one in a series I did back in 2011. And yes, I drew the bus.

Trying to Merge

Have you ever tried to merge into traffic, only to find that everyone else is in a bigger hurry than you? Try convincing a bunch of motorists on their way home that your school bus needs to jump into the flow.

Every time people see my kid transporter attempting to enter traffic from a side street, they say to themselves, “Oh no! I can’t get stuck behind a bus!”

So, without any compassion for me and my nerves, they pretend that they don’t see me. Better yet, they hold up a hand, wave slightly, and give me a look that says, “Sorry, but my schedule is too hectic to let you in front of me.” Jerks.

Making a Way

That’s when a school bus driver has to be proactive…he has to make a way into traffic. By being assertive with 35,ooo pounds of deisel-powered intimidation, one can MAKE motorist slow down and be polite. Making a way into traffic is possible because of a simple fact of life – getting put on the local news for hitting a school bus full of children is NOT in one’s best interest.

Life Lesson

God can make a way, when there seems to be no way.

Isaiah 43:16, 20 KJV – [16] Thus saith the LORD, which maketh a way in the sea, and a path in the mighty waters; … [20] The beast of the field shall honour me, the dragons and the owls: because I give waters in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert, to give drink to my people, my chosen.

When God chooses to do something, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop Him. God can make a way. No decree of man or law of nature is an obstacle to the LORD of creation. If God has told you to go somewhere, do some work, or reach some person, even if the way seems impossible, He is God…He will MAKE a way. Are you going through a valley? Are you on a stormy sea and can’t see past the waves? Do you think that there is no hope, no way out of it this time? Trust in Jesus – He can make a way, where there seems to be no way. He can give rivers of hope in the midst of your wilderness.

Hope you enjoy this short video of a beautiful song by Don Moen.

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by | April 10, 2014 · 10:02 am

Thursday Thoughts (Right or Left?)

You know, I was just thinking (which is what Thursday is about)…it’s been a while since I’ve shared in “wisdom from the school bus.” Therefore, I will share a story I’ve shared before, but one you’ve probably forgotten. Driving down a previously traveled road can be a good thing; you see things you missed the first time.

“Which Way?”

Every school bus driver is a hero, but substitute bus drivers (“sub drivers”) are in a class by themselves. I should know….I was one.

Sub Drivers Rule!

Unlike a driver that has a regular route, a “sub” is driver that drives different routes every day. Whenever a driver gets sick, lays out, or gets fired for doing something stupid, the substitute driver has to drive that route. Most of the time, the call comes without any warning…or sunlight.

However, one of the problems that a substitute driver faces is figuring out where to go. Imagine being put in a vehicle with 70 children just out of class, wanting to go home. Imagine you are in a part of town you’ve never been in before. Imagine that you have no instructions or directions, but must depend on the kids (Heaven help us) to get you where you need to go. Been there…done that…literally got the t-shirt.

Now, try to imagine that the very ones that are trying to tell you where to turn don’t EVEN know their rights from their lefts! It happened to me…..surely it did!

“I’m NOT Stupid”

I will never forget pulling up to an intersection and being forced to decide which way to go. I asked the kids on the bus, “Which way?”

“Go right.” a young  boy says. Yet, just when I started to make the turn, the following conversation took place:

Kid 1:  NOOO! Go RIGHT! You’re going the wrong way!

Me:     Wait, you said “Go right,” so that what I was doing.

Kid 1:  No you weren’t…you’re going left…I said “go right.”

Me:     I DID go right!

Kid 1:  No, you went left.

Kid 2:  You did tell the bus driver to go right, man, and that’s what he did.

Kid 1:  No he didn’t! He went left!

Kid 2: Dude, you must not know your right from your left.

Kid 1:  Shut up! Yes I DO!!

Me:     (To Kid 1) Ok, let’s get this straight. Which is right, and which is left? Hold up your right hand.

Kid 1:  (Holds up his left hand)

Me:     Hold up your left hand.

Kid 1:  (Holds up his right) See, I told you. I’m NOT stupid!

Life Lesson

There is a right way, and there is a wrong way. The right way may be the left way; but if the facts are not right, somebody’s gonna get left. I know I’m right on this one (enough with the puns).  As a matter of fact, there is a verse in the Bible that seems to talk about the same thing.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. – Pro 14:12 (NIV)

Whatever road you’re on, make sure of two things:

  1. The direction you are going
  2. That your source of determining right and wrong (or right and left) is reliable.

You don’t want to go the wrong way for an eternity, do you?

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