by | June 12, 2011 · 5:06 pm

Faith? Just Go to the Store.

Have you ever gone to the refrigerator and said to yourself, “There’s nothing to eat?”

As a child, especially as a teenager, I remember being told to shut the door of the fridge. For five minutes I would just stand there staring. Who needs an air conditioner when you have a picky, hungry, spoiled teenager?

Adults do the same thing.

With my mother-in-law coming over for dinner (that’s a whole ‘nother story), I went to the fridge to see what to make. Upon opening the door, this is what I saw: milk, soft drinks, cheese, sweet pickles, and sour cream. There was literally nothing in there, or in the cabinets, with which to make an evening meal. So, I stared….and whined….didn’t want eggs….or carrots….or yogurt….especially with biscuits….until my wife said…

“Just go to the store!“

Wow! What a blessing we take for granted! “Just go to the store,” she says. No food? No problem – JUST go to the store. Somewhere a cow had given its life and was waiting for me to come pick out its remains from a cooler.

I go to the store, just like my wife suggested, and found everything we needed to grill some wonderful, 20% fat-filled, high-cholesterol comfort burgers on our Weber grill (cheap little one). On top of that, I picked up an onion, some buns, and a fresh, ripe tomato. Problem solved. No faith required.

“Give us this day our daily bread. … Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink…” – Matthew 6:11, 25a 

“God will provide.” Easy to say – hard to live.

In the early 90’s, when Romania was just beginning its walk with freedom, food was still a scarce commodity. Yet, whenever a guest like me would enter a home, the hosts would bring out the very best they had – ALL of it – and prepare a meal fit for, well, an American.  They really couldn’t afford it. In many cases, there was literally nothing left for the next day. So, in an effort to stop the madness, I tried to talk some sense into these over-hospitable people.

“Look,” I said, “you don’t need to do this…we’re fine…save this food for yourself…we won’t eat it all, so it would be a waste.”

“No problem,” was the reply – from a teenage girl, no less – “God will provide.”

In my smug, self-righteous, experienced-in-the-terminology-of-the-faith kind of way I responded, “But you don’t understand…”

“No, YOU don’t understand” the young girl said with almost a sad look on her face. “Don’t worry about us, because when this food is gone, there will be more.”

She said, “You see, the food you are eating now was not here yesterday, and we didn’t even know where it was coming from. We ate all we had yesterday, but God provided us with food for today. So, there may be nothing left after today for tomorrow, but that is no problem. He brought us food for yesterday and today, and He will take care of tomorrow.”

That’s what I call faith! We just go to the store.

“O [we] of little faith…” – Matt. 6:30

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by | June 8, 2011 · 3:23 pm

Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting

I was going to write about having something to write about, but then I found something to write about…

Waiting in a hospital room.

Honestly, there are a few things on my writing agenda, including a paper discussing the audience of the letter to the Galatians; however, I just feel tapped out. There has been, and still is, so much on my plate that I am running out of RAM in my brain.

But sitting here in a hospital room waiting for my mother to come out of surgery gave me pause to think…and write…about waiting.

My mother is having a procedure done on her heart. It is called an ablation. It is not supposed to be that big of a deal, relatively speaking, but any surgery is big deal. Any time people take away your ability to breath on your own and put it into the hands of another, that’s a big deal. You just hope that person made more than just “average” grades on his/her “waking up the dead” exam.

Being a large, university hospital, there is good Wi-Fi signal, so here I have my computer to work from. If that fails, I do have my trusty back-up, my iPhone 4. As long as I can sit here and do something besides watch a television mounted too high on the wall next to the ceiling, I’ll be OK.

More bored than worried…

There are a lot of people who find themselves in situations similar to this, but are far more stressed and worried than I am. As a matter of fact, I am not worried at all. Maybe I should be, but why? Honestly, I am not only bored, but wishing that I was at home sitting in my own office, with all my books, getting done all the things that are pressing upon me. You could say that I am more worried about my schedule than I am about my mother’s surgery.

I can’t do anything about my mother’s surgery at this point. She is not only in the care of doctors who make far more than I do, but she is also in the hand of God. Why worry? All I have to do is wait.

Wait for what?

When we are told to wait upon the Lord, what is it that we are supposed to be waiting on? Are we supposed to be waiting for Him to do things just the way we want them to be done? Are we supposed to be waiting for Him to walk through the door with the news we want to hear?

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint. – Isa 40:31 KJV

The promise is that those who wait upon the Lord may not have all the answers, or see things turn out just the way they planned; but that they shall “renew their strength.” Better yet, they shall “mount up with wings as eagles” and soar above whatever may come. They shall stay in the race and “run, and not be weary.” And if it just so hard that there is no getting over it, no getting around it, and no denying the path ahead, then they will it least “walk, and not faint.”

Waiting for what is unknown can be wearisome. Many times the waiting is made harder because of the worry and the inability to plan for the outcome. Thankfully, when all is in God’s hands, there is no need to worry, just wait. In waiting on Him, there will be strength to make it through the unknown that lies ahead, and the boredom of the hospital room.

      “Many things about tomorrow,
      I don’t seem to understand;
      But I know Who holds tomorrow,
      And I know Who holds my hand.”

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by | June 6, 2011 · 1:16 am

Beware of False Cookies

The Chinese Restaurant

This afternoon, after Sunday morning services, we went to a Chinese restaurant. There with some of our youth and their parents, we made multiple trips back and forth to the only kind of bar a Baptist is expected to frequent – one that has food.

Usually I eat a little of everything at a Chinese restaurant, except sushi – that stuff is just plain nasty. But today, because I decided I had not eaten fish in a long time, I felt compelled to stay with just one subset of the universal set of oriental cuisine: seafood…(how’s that for a math reference?). I’d had my share of deep-fried battered chicken, beef, and whatever.

Sweet and Sour What?

On a side note, have you ever stopped to think about how much trust one puts in the food he is eating? Just because a label says “Sweet and Sour Chicken,” does it mean “Sweet and Sour Rat, Cat, Snake, Penguin, Leopard, Iguana, etc.” taste any different? From what I have been told, everything not pork, beef, or duck tastes like chicken. Put enough breading on little pieces of meat and it’s all the same.

I say let’s become legalistic about this issue, if nothing else. Certain meats should have certain shapes, or at least keep the skin on it. How else are we supposed to know what has been deep fried and covered in some exotic sauce that smells so good you forget your neighbor’s chihuahua went missing. Everything chicken should look like a chicken or have a feather sticking out of it. If I’m gonna be eating rattlesnake, at least give me a rattle to take home and play with. If they don’t start doing this, I may have to quit eating at Chinese restaurants and stick with the BBQ place – you know, the one conveniently located next to the emergency animal clinic?

Edible Fortunes

Seriously, I can’t stop eating at the the  Numba Won Happy Mandarin Peking Garden of Panda Love Restaurant. Where else could I find a cookie with wisdom? Chinese Restaurants are the only places I know with fortune cookies, and somehow they really know me.

Now, some people open up a fortune cookie only to find stupid stuff like, “The sky will be blue for you today, unless you cloud it with doubt.” Riiiight. Like, could you be any more vague?

On the other hand, my wife got one today that said, “Soon you will inherit land.” What? From whom? If she has a relative that has land to give away that’s not already promised to whiter sheep, then I’ll be really amazed. But mine are different. Mine are…

Scary Fortunes

One time I was just finishing up my road training before I started driving school buses in Tennessee. I went to a Chinese buffet for lunch, after which I got a fortune cookie. I am not lying, the piece of paper said, “You are about to enjoy success at a new job.” But what was more creepy was the Chinese word of the day was the word for “school bus.” N o  j o k e !

Today was another example of scary cookie wisdom. Would you believe that it knew I was a pastor? Would you believe that it knew I like to speak in front of large crowds? Amazingly, it knew that I am “the center of attention” whenever I am in a crowd (which is true at least three times a week). What is it supposed to mean?

False Cookies

It means that even a stupid cookie can get something right every now and then, especially if the statement enclosed is vague enough. On the other hand, it should be a reminder that there are forces at work in this world trying to deceive those with “itching ears” (2 Timothy 4:3).

“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” – 1 John 4:1

“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.” – Mark 13:22

Don’t believe ’em, just eat ’em.

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by | June 2, 2011 · 2:07 pm

Review of “Riven”

Cover of "Riven"

Cover of Riven

Without giving too much away, let me share my thoughts about Riven, a novel by Jerry B. Jenkins.

Earlier this year I attended a pastor’s conference at Tennessee Temple University. As a special gift, all pastors in attendance were given a free, hard-cover copy of Riven. Evidently, someone at the seminary pulled a few strings.

I don’t read too many fiction novels. Most of my time is tied up in other types of reading material, for the time being. But every once in a while one has to take a vacation from non-fiction and feed the imagination. In an essay entitled “Christian Apologetics” C. S. Lewis wrote, “Reality even seen through the eyes of many is not enough. I will see what others have invented…” Fiction feeds the imagination as does buying new colors for your Crayon box. Sometimes it helps to draw with something other than “black and white.”

The Characters

The main characters in this book are a pastor and his wife, Thomas and Grace Carey; their spiritually estranged daughter, Ravinia; and last but not least, a trailer park hooligan with potential, Brady Wayne Darby.

There were other characters that came and went in this novel, but the ones mentioned above figure most into the plot of the story. Each are fleshed out in the first 3-400 pages, leaving the last hundred-plus pages to bring all the background together in a fitting conclusion.

Jenkins does a good job in making the reader feel sorry for everyone in the story, including the bad guys. This is not unjustified, however. The effects of sin, whether committed by self or by others, is a sad thing to witness. Brady Darby is the type of guy that takes a good opportunity and destroys it, while Rev. Carey is just a guy that continually suffers for the “calling.” Ravinia is someone who suffers from her own choices, but also lives in bitterness because of what “church people” have done to her mom and dad. You just can’t help wanting everything to turn out right.

Character Development

Now, I am not a professional writer, by any stretch of the….wait, what am I saying?!! OK, so I do write a little, but I am not on the same level as Jerry Jenkins – you’re free to disagree, however. That being said, I feel the story could have been a little more condensed, at least concerning the Brady Darby character. Because of the time span covered in the book (20+ years), and even though we get the sense of his heart and true intentions, the character development seems lacking. Maybe it’s because of the so many other characters in story that draw one’s attention. Essentially, the story’s breadth, covered in such a few pages (relative to the time line), had a watering-down affect.

The other main character, Rev. Thomas Carey, was more often than not portrayed as a melancholy soul. He was a preacher/teacher/pastor that was never able, until the end, to see any real fruit from his labor. He was frustrated and bitter at times, yet he never gave up on God; even though his faith was strained. However, what I felt missing from his character was intensity. Maybe real life is a slow, down-hill coast to the pharmacy for refills of Prozac; but, this character had so much more to offer. The depth of his struggles and the heights of his victories were never really felt, at least not until the end – and even that was limited.

I think that one of the things that limited the ability to contrast the characters of Darby and Carey was the choice by Jenkins to not use profanity in the text. Granted, Riven is not supposed to be a titillating romp through the bowels of hell; but, in a world where vulgarity is commonplace, especially for those of us who have ministered in prison settings, this fictional work seemed too fictitious. Honestly, it felt like Jenkins used too much Clorox, thereby leaving the story with only a cognizant sense of contrast between good and evil; nothing guttural.

The Story

The story of Riven is that of two opposite characters who live their lives seperately, only to be bound together in the end by a common love for Christ. This love for Jesus leads one of the characters to do something completely unthinkable and unprecedented. Any more than that, which I know is not a lot, could ruin the ending for you. And that’s the key to this whole book – the ending. You have to read the whole story to appreciate the end, and end which should bring emotions to the surface of any true Christian.

Conclusion

Buy the book, even though I didn’t have to, and read it. If you don’t get anything else out of Riven, you should gain a new appreciation for the mercy and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ – His side was “riven” for us.

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by | May 31, 2011 · 8:15 am

Where, Oh Where Could He Be?

A Disturbing Poll

Recently, I came across a poll that was disturbing, while at the same time humorous. Let me share it with you.

The Public Religion Research Institute published a survey that asked Americans, among other things, whether or not Osama bin Laden went to hell. Believe it or not, only around 62% believed that he is suffering in hades {click here for poll}. Where else could he be?

Now, keep in mind that the majority of Americans believe in heaven (80%), or at least some version of it (mostly unbiblical). And for most Americans, there is a belief that evil people will be punished in the afterlife. The numbers, from what I have seen in the past, are more than 62%. So, if this is the case, where should we expect to see bin Laden? If not in hell, I have some ideas….

Potential bin Laden Abodes…

  • Heaven – yes he could have gotten there by the grace of God. Who knows? Maybe one of Seal Team 6 was an evangelical that convinced Osama he needed a Savior, prayed with him, offered him communion, and then tripped over his rifle? It coulda’ happened, I suppose.
  • Disney World – As part of a special, top-secret interigation technique, the CIA has forced him to shave and put on Mickey Mouse ears, while also being forced to ride the It’s a Small World ride. Eventually, he would break, because what else could be considered “hell on earth,” if not that?
  • Again, Heaven – maybe all of the Christians are wrong and the Muslims are correct? Maybe he is partying with his 72, 71, 70, wait…how many virgins are left? Maybe Muslim heaven really is hell. After the 72 are no more, eternity is going to be a long, long time.
  • Wal-Mart – if Osama is not dead, or even if he is, then spending time at Wal-Mart is not unlikely. Just think, hasn’t Elvis been spotted there plenty of times? And have you seen the type of people that shop there? He wouldn’t look out of place, especially in California.
  • Heaven, yet again – Rob Bell could be right, so bin Laden and Hitler may be sharing a mansion and talking about the good ole’ days.
  • Under da Sea! – “Under da sea/ under da sea/ I can blow bubbles/ don’t need no doubles/ under da sea/ ….under da sea/ under da sea/ can’t get to heaven, cause of 9-11/ under da sea…  See ole’ bin Laden tossin’ the turban/ catchin’ a ride on a suicide blue fin/ tossed from a ship and just taking a dip/ under da sea”

The Truth

Seriously though, where can we find the truth? The Word of God – the Bible. Regardless of what 39% of the population think, if Osama bin Laden never accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and King, then his future does not look good. It doesn’t matter what kind of atrocities he committed or encouraged.

Jesus was very clear about what awaits those who deny Him and choose their own path. Even though Osama might have been a sincere man of faith, his faith was misplaced. THAT is why, if he died without Christ, he is in hell.

He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him. – John 3:36

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. – Acts 4:12

And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire. – Revelation 20:15

Truth is not changed by polling data.

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by | May 27, 2011 · 6:23 pm

Hollow Humor

Steve Martin at the premiere of Baby Mama in N...

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I love to laugh.

There should never be any doubt that I enjoy humor. As a matter of fact, my love for humor has not only gotten me through some difficult times, but it has gotten me into trouble. That is why I truly wanted to see, live and in person, comedy royalty, a legend……

Steve Martin.

Wow! I couldn’t believe I was actually in the same room with “the Jerk,” the “wild and crazy guy!” It was such a thrill, even after the sticker shock and buyer’s remorse that followed purchasing tickets. After dinner at my wife’s favorite restuarant (to make her happy), we had skipped desert, walked in the rain, choked through some guy’s smoke in front of the entrance, and found our place within a stone’s toss of living, comedy genius. It was awesome!

For the younger readers, Steve Martin is the white-haired guy in The Pink Panther, and the upcoming movie with Jack Black and Owen Wilson, The Big Year.

Well, instead of going around doing comedy, Steve Martin is touring with The Steep Canyon Rangers and playing bluegrass (Steve Martin is a scorching banjo player). But along with an all-original set of music sure to please the mountain music lover in everyone, Steve couldn’t help be the funny man. We’re not talking about joke-telling funny, just simple, natural humor. Even though the adults over 30 would have loved to hear him sing “King Tut,” he kept the humor conversational, never once putting on a pair of bunny ears or an arrow-through-the-head.

The Sad Part…

Even though I love comedy and music (even bluegrass banjo), the greatest love of my life is Jesus. And even though Martin was great and really worth the ticket price, it could have even been better had the One I love been invited.

A legalist would say that any music that is not religious is sinful. The legalist would not have enjoyed Steve Martin. On the other hand, a “recovering” legalist can enjoy what is beautiful and “good,” albeit not religious in nature. It’s just that no matter what it is, if it is void of Jesus, regardless of its quality, there’s something missing. It’s sorta like ordering your favorite food, only to notice that a key spice is missing. Adding a key ingredient after the fact is not the same as sprinkling on a little salt.

That being said, for what it’s worth, the following video is pretty darn funny; but sad at the same time.

The big reason why I listen to Christian music is not because I have to – I want to. Even though music and art of all types, including comedy, is ok on the surface, without Christ at the core, it rings hollow. What are your thoughts?

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by | May 23, 2011 · 11:58 am

Being “Real”

Have you ever been completely spent? Worn out? Empty? I have. As a matter of fact, I woke up this morning feeling like a squeezed out tube of toothpaste.

Yesterday was a great day. I was blessed to be able to preach in the morning, the afternoon, and the evening. The only problem is that when you go all day, preaching your heart out, by the end of the day you’re exhausted. When I got up to drive the school bus, I looked at that tube of toothpaste and said, “That’s me.”

Over the next couple of hours a thought came to me: how can you tell when a tube of toothpaste is empty? Usually, it is flat and rolled up. The compacted tube shows evidence that all of its contents have been used – there’s nothing left. Then what about the hard, stand-up kind?

These new containers for toothpaste are deceiving. Unlike the old-fashioned tubes, they do not compact and show any visible signs of being empty. They always look full. Then it hit me – what hypocrites! Those new-fangled containers are just putting on a show and never give any hint of being used up. In other words, they’re not “real.”

I want to be “real.”

This is not a lesson on hypocrisy. This is not a lesson on being a whitewashed tomb full of dead men’s bones. This is about being “real.”

Too often, especially in ministry, we are forced to put on a façade, thereby making ourselves appear to be something we’re not. It’s not meant to be hypocritical. It is meant to spare others from the truth of our own inadequacies – our own emptiness. Sadly, because we don’t want to be a burden or a disappointment, we endure the emptiness…the loneliness…the fatigue. Being “real” is risky.

There are limits to how much dirty laundry a pastor can air in public without losing his ministry. There are limits to how vulnerable he can be around others. But may it never be said that we have to pretend to be something we are not. We are human. We have weaknesses. We have limitations. We can feel “used up.”

Fortunately, unlike a tube of toothpaste, we can be refilled. And for that matter, even a seemingly squeezed out tube always has just a little more to give. God gives us what we need, when we need it.  The important thing to remember is that we shouldn’t try to act full, when we are empty. When we do that, that is when we act in our own strength. Let us then admit our weakness and emptiness, and in turn our heavenly Father will refill us with what will bring Him glory. Who knows, maybe it is our emptiness He wants to use most.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 KJV

Just keep it REAL.

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by | May 20, 2011 · 10:45 am

Venting Before the End of the World

The following are random issues on which I am going to vent for the last time – unless the end doesn’t come tomorrow.

Idiots that Predict the Second Coming of Christ

Poster in Kendall Square, Cambridge, Massachus...

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I am not going to take a lot of time with this one, but when will people learn? If you haven’t heard, a well-intentioned fool has predicted the Rapture to take place tomorrow, May 21st, 2011. You can click the link below and go straight to the source of all this nonsense. Or, if you are wise, you could just stick with the words of Jesus:

Matthew 24:36 KJV – “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.”

Mark 13:32 KJV – “But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.”

If the words of Jesus aren’t convincing enough, then here’s where you can learn that Jesus was wrong: ebiblefellowship.com.

Idiots that Take Advantage of Stupidity and Show Their Own Foolishness in the Process

Believe it or not, there are folks out there that are making money off of those who believe in the rapture, and I’m not talking about Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins (no offense, guys…I bought your books). I’m talking about people who sell pet insurance to people who want their pets to be taken care of in the event that the owner is raptured. If you don’t believe me, just check them out: http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/.

There are a couple of things about this that irritate me. For one, these folks are truly going to be lost without hope if the rapture comes any time soon. For that matter, they are lost without hope because they deny faith in Jesus Christ, regardless of the their eschatology. I believe the day will come when the trump of God shall sound and all the dead in Christ shall rise, the living to meet them in the air (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18). I also believe that cars crash, hearts stop, cancer kills, and spiders bite. These folks could meet their Maker unprepared at any time, regardless of some fool’s predictions.

Secondly, I am irritated that these folks have made me sad for my little dog! What if the rapture comes tomorrow, or next week, what will happen to Nugget? Do you suppose that God will mercifully take the lives of the pets of Christians in order to keep them from suffering in a post-resurrection world? Who knows? Probably not. That’s sad. On the other hand, I have plenty of family and friends, not to mention church members, that will probably still be here when that time comes.

I just wish that I had a parrot that said, “Told you so, told you so, told you so…”

Hypocritical Liberals

San Fransisco just approved a measure to be put on the ballot for the November elections. Up for a vote is whether or not to ban circumcision.  Click {here} for story on ballot.

Yes, without any measure guaranteeing religious freedom, voters will attempt to ban the age-old procedure because it is painful to little boys and denies their rights as individuals to decide. EXCUSE ME!?

Correct me if I am wrong, but aren’t these the same, caring, loving, considerate, pro-choice folk who, given the opportunity, would see nothing at all wrong with chopping a baby to bits only eight days earlier? So let me get this straight, it is OK to kill a child by poking scissors into it’s skull and sucking out it’s brain, or by letting it die of “natural causes” on a metal table, but it’s a crime of abuse to circumsize only eight days later? You’re kidding, right?!?

Forgiving Egyptian Debt

Brilliant! Just brilliant, President Obama. We have bridges that are falling apart and miles of southern acreage destroyed by tornadoes, but you’re willing to give a Billion dollars to the Muslim Brotherhood? The very same people who will turn right around and say thanks with a bomb or a knife to the throat? The least you could do is tell them all debts would be forgiven if they stop butchering Coptic Christians. Oh, but that would be to much, wouldn’t it. We wouldn’t want to offend the fledgling Islamic state, would we?

Just look, it takes an Australian paper to say something: The Australian accuses West of ignoring Coptic Christians.

The End?

I feel better, now. Hope to see you in Heaven on the 21st, if you are one of the “elect,” of course. But if the rapture doesn’t take place on Saturday, I will be in church on Sunday worshiping the One who is not slack concerning His promises, but is longsuffering and “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9

P.S.

To all the atheist planning “after judgment” or “rapture” parties,  please take note: rapture or not, this life on earth will end.

“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.” – Hebrews 9:27-28 KJV

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by | May 16, 2011 · 1:40 pm

Life Lessons from the School Bus #10 (Tennis Balls)

Crazy Obstacles

Back when I first trained to drive a school bus, all drivers were required to complete an obstacle course. I don’t know what they do these days, but one obstacle that I had to overcome it worth remembering – the tennis ball row.

The obstacle course was tough enough, but one test that we had to go through seemed totally off the wall. It was the last test, the last trial, the last obstacle of the day. All one had to do was drive a school bus across a parking lot, but without touching any tennis balls. What’s the catch?

The right side of the bus, front tire and rear tires, was to go between two rows of tennis balls, the spacing of which only left 2 inches of clearance. In other words, you only had at most 2 inches on either side of the widest part of the back tires. Touch a tennis ball and you have to start over. Go over the tennis balls – you fail.

Really, I could see how this exercise taught precision driving skills, but what was the point. When on earth was I supposed to encounter a bunch of yellow balls on the highway? Little did I know, a day would come when I would see first-hand the purpose for this lesson.

The Real Test

A few months into my driving career, I was asked to fill in on a route in the county. The route I was put on took me way out into farm country…tobacco country. After picking up a few kids, my directions led me down a gravel road, way out amidst acres of Kentucky no-man’s land. It wasn’t too long until I came upon a creek. The only way to get across the creek was to drive my 15 ton bus over a homemade, log and plank bridge.

“You have GOT to be kidding me!” was the first words out of my mouth.

“No, this is the way we always go,” said the boy noticing the terror in my face.

Trembling in my driver’s seat, my muscles hardly willing to obey my brain’s idiotic commands, I slowly began my crossing. Middle of the way through, as the bus was slightly rocking back and forth, I could see that my tires were barely on the wooden planks that lay across the logs. Then it hit me – “That’s why they had us drive through those tennis balls!”

The next thought that came into my mind was, “If they had told me what they were training me for, I would have found another job.”

Life Lesson

The reason for the lesson may not be obvious until the need for application.

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.  But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” -James 1:3-4

Sometimes we are called by God to go through tests and trials which we don’t understand. What we need to realize is that God knows what is ahead of us, what bridges we may have to cross.

Let Him do what He must to train you for the road ahead. You may be the one responsible for carrying someone over to the other side.

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by | May 14, 2011 · 3:17 pm

Saturday the 14th – Scary?

I Survived

If you didn’t notice, yesterday was Friday the 13th. Are you still alive, or did a maniacal, undead mask-wearer visit your un-chaperoned slumber party?

Well, even though we are being overrun by 13 year locusts, I survived the day and night and never encountered a single monster – except our little dog who came in from running around in the wet grass and jumped in the bed.

Movies

Back in the 1980’s a movie came out to spoof the Friday the 13th horror films. It was called Saturday the 14th. The promo line was, “It gets bad on Friday the 13th, but it gets worse on Saturday the 14th.” …..Whatever.

Real life, however,  is far more terrifying than movies. As a matter of fact, the scariest day for any pastor comes every week. Someone should make a movie about it – a documentary. It could be called…..“Sunday Morning (before Church)”

Here’s what the announcer could say during the promo commercial…

“Forget abandoned campgrounds, haunted lakes, and dark rooms. Forget about blade-wielding criminals that won’t die. Forget about whatever goes bump in the night, requiring someone in a bathrobe and slippers to say, “Is anybody there?” All the real demons come out on Sunday morning before church….like clockwork. This is REAL!”

Reality

There is a real Devil, believe me. Even if the Bible did not teach of his existence, I could take you to him, or at least one of his workers, at about 9am on any given Sunday. All I would need to do to summon his presence would be to say, “Honey, where are my shoes?” I could also say something like, “How long are you going to be in the bathroom?” Any one of theses phrases are guaranteed to conjure something, or someone.

The evidence of his presence can be seen in the items that come up missing. For instance, he is regularly hiding stuff that was in total view only 8 hours before. He or his demons love to hide shoes, hairbrushes, shirts, dresses, pantyhose, lipstick, and Bibles. Occasionally, he even likes to hide the church mail that comes to the parsonage, leaving the pastor to look irresponsible.

Predictable

But thankfully, one thing’s a constant: even though Satan is real, just like in a poorly-written movie, his ways are predictable. Unlike our God, whose “judgments are unsearchable, and His ways past finding out” (Romans 11:33), the “wiles” of the devil never deviate from his modus operandi.

The Greek word translated “wiles” in the KJV is  methodia (μεθοδεία). Essentially, it is a word made from combining  meta and hodos (“after,” and “a way”), and is used to describe what could be called “a decided plan of deception and trickery.”

Satan is a “method” actor, in other words. He plays a part – a predictable part – in trying to deceive, trick, thwart, anger, harm, and sidetrack God’s people. He follows a pattern which can be anticipated and for which preparations can be made. It’s all in the Script.

Preparing for Sunday

So, why do unseen forces literally attack on Sunday morning? They do it because it is the Lord’s Day. They do it because they want us to be ineffective and powerless. They know that hurting, lost, and desperate souls need to be ministered unto, many of which might be on the verge of giving up. The forces we battle against would love to use a missing hair brush, a wrinkled shirt, a nicked face, burnt toast, or an upset stomach to literally raise the dead – the “flesh.”  The enemy knows that “they that are in the flesh cannot please God” (Romans 8:8).

Fortunately for us, all we have to do is be watchful (1 Peter 5:8), armored (Ephesians 6:11), and filled with His Spirit, the “power of His might” (Ephesians 6:10). The “wiles” of the devil, his schemes and evil plans, are no match for the God “who performeth all things for me” (Psalm 57:2).

On top of that:

  • Do all you can do to get ready for church the night before. If necessary, get ready at different times, so as not to get ticked off at children or risk being asked, “What do you think of this dress?“
  • Take different cars, even if your 10 year old has to drive the lawn mower
  • Reduce dress standards/expectations so you can go to church looking like you just woke up
  • Put duct tape over everybody’s mouths until they get to the door of the church
  • Get up in the middle of the night to eat all you can so you can avoid breakfast, thereby avoiding arguing over what to eat
  • Become Adventist and go to church on Saturday (last resort)

If I Could Make a Movie

I do wish that I could make a movie that featured some of those evil characters in horror films. One in particular is the guy that comes and kills people in their dreams, Freddie Kruger. Another would be the ultimate movie villain, Count Dracula. Add to the list all the other demonic entities that send women running through the woods in high heels, only to trip on a spider web.

Just for fun, I would have all the demonic bad guys come up against a couple of praying saints, or a old preacher who’s broken hearted and fed up with sin. The bad guys would come against them in full force, swearing and threatening and promising all kinds of pain and suffering. Then when all hope seemed lost, right at the moment of despair, as the demoniacs were making their charge,

they’d run into a solid, unconquerable wall of Light…

the ringing sound of a massive sword being unsheathed would be heard…

terror would fill the eyes of the attackers at the sound of a Voice, saying…

“These are mine!“

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. – 1 John 4:4

Now, where are my clean socks? I knew I put them in the drawer…..Honey?!

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