Author Archives: Anthony Baker

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About Anthony Baker

Husband, dad, pastor, artist, and musician. Time Magazine's Person of the Year in 2006 (no joke!). Loves coffee (big time), good movies, and sarcastic humor. Holds a Doctorate in Ministry. Most importantly, a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. All glory belongs to Him! Matthew 5:16

A Song for Bus Drivers: “The School Bus Man Can”

The following story is not one that I included in my new book. But if there is a follow-up edition in the future, maybe I’ll consider adding a CD.

A Song was Needed

Several years ago, as the school year was coming to a close, a video was put together to share with all the drivers in the county. The person putting the video together asked if anyone had any music they would like played in the background.  I said, “I DO!

You see, a few weeks earlier I had sat down with my 8-track digital recorder and put together an ode to bus drivers. I even enlisted the help of my two girls (they sang backup and made all the noise). Even though it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, there were within it were certain elements of truth.

This Is A True Story

One day, just when the morning routes were coming to an end, a desperate call came over the 2-way radio.  At first, it didn’t make sense, or at least it didn’t seem like much about which to be concerned. All of a sudden, like the moment you realize the unbelievable is real, the subject of the distressing radio transmission becomes painfully obvious.

Have you ever been walking through Wal-Mart and seen somebody that made you say to yourself, “What in the world was she thinking?” Well this was one of those moments, only the audio kind. Honest as a heart attack, this is how the conversation went…

Dispatcher:  “What number is this?” (in other words, the dispatcher was asking for the number of the bus)

Bus Attendant:  “Number ONE! Not TWO! I gotta go PEE! PLEASE let me go PEE!!

If I’m lying, I’m dying.

No joke, an attendant on a special needs bus got on the radio and asked permission to get off and go relieve herself. She literally pleaded and begged over the airwaves. But the craziest thing about all of this is that she wasn’t the only adult on that bus; she wasn’t even the dadgum driver! There was no need for her to call in and ask permission to go to the bathroom! She could have gone “number one” any time she wanted!

How embarrassing.

Folks, here is a lesson for you: when you have to go “potty,” keep it to yourself!

So, enjoy the song. Feel free to pass it on. I can’t make anything off of it anyway, you know. Sammy Davis, Jr. might come back an haunt me.

Click here to listen The School Bus Man Can

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Filed under General Observations, music

From the Pit to Praise

And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. – Psalm 40:3

A New Song

How many times have you heard someone sing “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” after something really special happened? Can you hear Handel’s Messiah playing in your head this very moment? I remember a particular scene in the movie Scrooged, starring Bill Murray, where Scrooge (played by Bill) realized he’d been given another chance at life. In an instant he stepped out of pure terror into rapturous joy… “I’m ALIVE! I’m ALIVE!”… Hallelujah! Hallelujah! … everything was new.

(Enjoy the clip, but pardon the mild language – after all, the guy hasn’t had a lot of time to change his vocabulary, right?)

Are we singing songs of praise? Do you remember the pit? Are you in one right now? What kind of songs are “pit” songs? What kind of songs does one sing when he is hopeless, in the dark, burdened with despair? Shouldn’t the old songs become new when you’ve been delivered?

It might not be the Hallelujah Chorus coming out of your speakers, but something should be “new” about the song choices of one who has passed from death unto life (John 5:24; 1 John 3:14). Am I correct? Maybe it’s just the preacher in me is talking.

What Others See

People-watching is a favorite pastime, one that even I sometimes enjoy (especially when there’s not enough money to buy anything in the mall). But it doesn’t have to be a place where people congregate to find people-watchers; they’re everywhere.

Because there’s always someone watching us, taking note, even trying to be like us, it’s important to remember that when God does a work in our lives, people see that too! As a matter of fact, the bigger the miracle, the bigger the response.

John:  “Hey, Jim, do you remember that guy, Anthony?”

Jim:  “Anthony?  The one who’ll never make anything of his life? The guy who’s beyond help? The one who’s been stuck in that pit so long he’ll never change?”

John:  “Yeah, that guy…well sorta.”

Jim:  “What do you mean?”

John:  “Well, something’s really changed about him. He’s different. He’s not depressed, or angry, or worried anymore. Things are going better for him, and all he can do is praise God for picking him up! He doesn’t even accept the credit! All he does now is talk about the Lord, loving people, and all that stuff. He even changed the music he listens to!”

Jim:  “That’s scary, man. But if God really did that much for Anthony, I wonder what he might do for me if I just trusted Him more?”

Gotta Have “It

Any kind of experience that will make a man run towards a guy with a shotgun, a guy who was trying to kill him… Any kind of experience that would make a man jump out of an elevator and scream, “I’m ALIVE! I’m ALIVE!“… That’s the kind of experience that will get people’s attention.

Friend, do you have any idea how close to hell you were before you accepted Christ? Were your feet in the flames and you didn’t even know it?

You at the computer…the one reading this on an iPad or a smart phone… what’s your deal? Have you been delivered from some dark, dank, depressing, hopeless pit? Are you in one right now? Well, when God delivers you, if He hasn’t already, I hope your reaction will reflect what’s been done.

People are looking for hope; do you have “it”?</

Note: A previous version of this post was being written when my computer decided it was time to update Windows. Before it was erased, that post elaborated a little on the “it” that David said the people saw. What do you think the word – inserted by translators for clarification – was referring to? The being lifted out of the pit and so forth, or visible praise? Both?)

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Filed under God, ministry, music, salvation, worship

Tennessee Taliban?

Yesterday, on Facebook, I read a post comparing conservatives in Tennessee to the Taliban. Yes, the Taliban.

Was it meant in jest? Was it simply sarcasm? Was it some form of sophisticated humor far above my intellectual capabilities? In any case, I did not find it humorous, but offensive. Let me quote to you what the author wrote, but just in case I’m missing something, I won’t name names – since the Taliban might get offended, and you know how that could go.

“Family Values is the Sharia Law of East Tennessee… [Rich and White] are the only two qualities required to hold office here in the Taliban region of East Tennessee.”

church ladyIt’s easy to come down hard on unloving, graceless, legalistic Christians (or at least those who claim to be) when they try to push their beliefs. I mean, if all you ever experience is the literal version of Dana Carvey‘s SNL character Church Lady, then that kind of self-righteous, churchy, hate mongering is easy to condemn.

But in reality, the ones my friend (yes, it’s a friend) were comparing to the Taliban are those who strongly believe abortion is wrong, that wine sales should be confined to the liquor store, and that one shouldn’t have to check his religion at the door when either voting or running for office. The Tennessee “church ladies” were even likened to Taliban because of their supposed hypocritical support for a less-than-godly candidate. But is the Taliban characterization fair? I don’t think so.

With the exception of the insane radical who has no clue what it means to follow Christ (yet claims to be a Christian), even the most conservative of conservatives, even the most severely Independent Fundamental Bapticostalite-type is nothing, NOTHING like the Taliban!

Give me a break!

For example, let’s compare reactions. Last week a Baptist church in my town was savagely vandalized. What did we do? We prayed that justice would be done, that the vandal would be caught, AND that our community could find a way to show him the love of Christ. What would the Taliban have done in the same situation? Well, as a clue, just last week a missionary friend informed us of a couple in his town that was burned alive after being accused of burning some pages from the Koran. The 26 year-old couple, parents of 4, were repeatedly thrown onto a fire as they pleaded their innocence. But hey, those Christians were taught a lesson, weren’t they?

Had the Christians in Lookout Valley, Tennessee, been the Taliban, we would have united after our morning prayers, then killed the teenager who destroyed the church. After that, like so often is the case with Muslim mobs, we would have looted, raped, and crucified anyone who looked like an atheist or liberal, then burned our own businesses – just to make a point.

But we didn’t, did we?

photo (32)

The Tennessee Taliban (illustrated by: A. Baker)

And what about that election? What about those dreadfully religious, abortion-regulating votes?

  • You mean those votes cast in a fair election after which no one was shot, beheaded, or blown up by a car bomb?
  • You mean the election to which women were allowed to drive themselves?
  • You mean that election we actually HAD?!

I guess the Tennessee Taliban never got the memo from headquarters. You know, the one that says, “Tyranny good…democracy bad.”

So, what’s my point? It does not further the quest for Christian unity and understanding when we intentionally use blatantly derogatory labels to demonize those with whom we disagree, especially when we agree on far more things than we don’t.

If my interpretation of the reason for using the “Taliban” term was flawed, then I sincerely apologize. I understand, as pointed out by my wife and children, I can blow things way out of context. But, if I was, as I suspect, lumped in with those who kill those with whom they find the least bit of variance, I’m hurt.

Labeling those who were only doing their civic duty, and had they lost would have only complained and whined, as the “Taliban” was an unfortunate use of words. But unlike the Taliban, we will forgive.

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Filed under Abortion, Alcohol, America, Christian Unity, Culture Wars, legalism

A Pit Stop Before Direction

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. – Psalm 40:2

The Pits

Can you imagine being in a deep, dark, hole? Imagine no cell phone, no rope, no ladder, and nothing but slippery, muddy walls. The ground on which you stand, if you could call it ground, is nothing but thick, sticky, pull-the-shoes-off-your-feet miry mud. If you could manage to climb, you’d first have to find a way to pull your feet from the clay.

That’s the kind of circumstance I believe David was describing, but not a literal pit, like an ancient well or cistern; he was talking about his circumstances. David wasn’t really in a well, at least not the kind that held water. He hadn’t really fallen into a muddy pit. The pit David was describing was not all that dissimilar to the pits we fall into every day.

Faith and Waiting

What is it like to fall into the pit of depression? What about the pit of financial ruin? What’s it like to be trapped in the pit of emotional or physical pain? Are the walls in the pit of broken relationships any less slippery? As with the pit David was in, does the pit you’re in, or have been in, make your feet feel stuck, yet unsteady? See, David understands – and so does God.

What did David do while in the pit? As noted in verse one, he cried and he waited. Now, that’s not too hard to do in the average pit, is it? I mean, when you are down in a hole it’s not that difficult to cry and to wait – what else is there to do? But instead of just crying, instead of just waiting, David cried unto the Lord and waited patiently on Him for deliverance. While in the pit David put his faith in God.

Perfect Timing

Then, once the time was right, deliverance came. And when it came, which was in God’s timing, David was lifted out of the pit, set on solid ground, and pointed in the right direction.

Think about it: David didn’t get out of the pit when he wanted or how he wanted to; he had to depend on God. What if David had had a stroke trying to deliver himself? How many people kill themselves (literally and figuratively) trying to get out of their pits? How many people never cry out to God for help, never wait patiently, but curse the circumstance, frantically flailing about in a useless attempt to get free? Maybe you are in a miry pit for a reason, to cause you to trust God.

One thing is for sure, when you are in a pit there aren’t many places you can go fast. Unless you’re going up, right or left, east or west, really makes no difference, does it? When you’re in a pit, all you can think about is the pit. But what happens when you do get out? What then? Where do you go? When God lifted David up out of the miry pit, He set his feet on solid ground and made sure he set off in the right direction. Maybe you are still in a pit because the timing is not right for the direction you need to go. Maybe you are still in the pit because you are so week from trying to deliver yourself – if lifted out you might simply fall right back in. Again, wait patiently on the Lord.

Learn While You Wait

All pits are horrible, aren’t they? But as we wait patiently on the Lord, knowing He has heard our cry, maybe we should take note of where we are, how we got here, and how to warn others of the dangers, the darkness, and the loneliness. There is something to learn until deliverance comes.

God doesn’t want to leave you in a miry pit, but what we learn while there may impact the timing of our deliverance and the direction of our going when free.

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Filed under Bible Study, Christian Maturity, Faith, God, Theology

Something Good Worth Waiting For

I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. – Psalm 40:1

There’s an old saying, “good things come to those who wait.” Where did it come from? Who said it first? I don’t know, although I’m sure it’s traceable. All I know is that the first verse of Psalm 40 says almost the same thing, only what comes to the one waiting is better than anything this world can offer.

Something’s Wrong

Let’s think about some things that have to be going on for this verse to make any sense. First, something is wrong. Why else would David be crying out to God? Something is wrong. Why else would he be wanting God to do something.

Tonight I dealt with some serious prayer requests from people in my congregation. One thing led to another and I brought up the question that so many ask: “If there’s a God, then why is there pain? Why do good people suffer?” Here’s another question, though: if there is no God, and there is still pain and suffering, then what’s the point? Either there is pain and suffering, people going through bad times, for no reason whatsoever, or the other option is that there is a great plan beyond our understanding, one being worked out by a loving God. The pain is there, regardless. Why not believe there’s hope?

In God’s Time

The second thing to observe is the fact that God works on His own time table. David cried out, for how long we don’t know, but God’s response was not immediate.

How often to we find ourselves calling out in prayer, “Do something! Do it NOW!” In David’s case, whatever was wrong was more than he could handle on his own; he needed divine intervention. How often do search for immediate answers? How often do we question God and His timing all because we know more about what is really needed at the moment?

David waited patiently. Patience requires faith. It is impossible to please God without faith (Hebrews 11:6). Are you waiting patiently?

To Those Who Wait

To those who wait patiently on the Lord; to those who have faith that God will indeed do what is best; to those who wait God gives something that most do not realize they never truly have – His undivided attention. David waited patiently on the Lord, and He “inclined” unto him.

Picture two people sitting at a table. Lots of other people are at the table, too, just going on and on about all manner of stuff. One person tries to talk to the other, but there are so many distractions. Eventually, when the other notices how much the one wants to talk, he leans over, rests on an elbow, bends an ear, and says, “Now, what were you saying?”

God is omniscient; it’s not like He can’t hear all prayers. But within this verse we get a glimpse into the reality that there is something special, a sweet privilege that comes to those who “wait patiently on the Lord.” To reach that point of communion with the Creator of the universe, to know you have His ear: now that’s a good thing for which to wait, don’t you think?

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Filed under Bible Study, God, Love of God, Theology

Blogging Withdrawal and Psalm 40

I have so much to do, but here I am, late at night, writing something on this blog – just to be doing it.

Have you ever had this feeling? Those of you who are fellow bloggers, have you ever just been so busy…so overwhelmed…so caught up with things that are more important…that you look at the tab on your computer that links you to WordPress with a sense of longing?

Pitiful, isn’t it?

Frankly, there are so many things I’d like to write about, but I’m too stinking tired to formulate my thoughts. I’d love to share what I think about politics, the Mayor in Houston, and Ebola, but there’s just too much – and my opinion wouldn’t make that much of a difference.

photo (31)But I did have an idea. Today I was reading from Psalm 40, a passage of Scripture I read to my congregation last Sunday morning. Remember how some others and myself went through the book of Proverbs one proverb at a time? I thought that it might be beneficial and interesting, at least to some, if I were to break down that chapter a verse or two at a time.

What if I pushed aside all the other distractions of this election cycle and spent some time expounding on Psalm 40? In my opinion, it’s a revival-focused psalm that we all could benefit from applying.

What do you think?

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Kids Spitting and Truth Telling

The following is what I am planning to make the last entry of my new book. Tell me what you think.

“Unexpected Truth”

Every once in a while a bus driver, or anyone for that matter, may find himself saying, “I didn’t see that one coming!” In other words, every once in a while something happens; somebody says something that you would have never imagined. Let me tell you about one of those “once in a while’s.”

Spitting Accusations

Kids are always doing stuff to each other to be aggravating. You have probably witnessed children throwing spit wads, taking items out of another’s book bag, or hiding a child’s shoe right before her stop. No? Well what about spitting on each other?

Oh, yes, children are well-accustomed to spitting on each other, especially boys. Now, they never admit to doing it; they usually blame it on the one kid with no salivary glands. But there was this one time when a boy on my bus accused a girl of spitting on him when she actually didn’t. How do I know that she didn’t? She showed me proof!

So, “Jack” hollered from the back of the bus, “Mr. Baker! ‘Jill’ spit on me!” Before I could rationally respond, another voice came from the back, the voice of the accused, crying, “No I didn’t – he’s lying!” Since I was in the process of driving and there was no place to pull over and deal with the situation, all I could do at the moment was respond with a simple request: “STOP SPITTING!”

A moment passed, then Jill came up to the seat behind me (which is dangerous and against the rules, by the way). “Mr. Baker,” she said in a tone laced with disgust, “I did not spit on Jack; he spit on himself after he spit on the seat.”

What?” I asked. “He’s spitting on the seat?! That’s gross!”  Incidentally, this is one of those times when I find it appropriate to ask: why do people of any age find enjoyment in recreational spitting? Why waist perfectly good saliva when there’s nothing necessarily nasty to expel from one’s mouth?

Anyway, a moment or two later, Jack came up to share his side of the story. “Mr. Baker, Jill did spit on me! See my shirt? See, this is her spit…she spit on me! See?”

I couldn’t argue with what I saw. There, as plain as the marks on a Dalmatian, were wet spots where something liquidy had collided with his shirt. Somebody had spit on him.

“Jill!” I yelled, “Why did you spit on Jack?” From the back of the bus came an insistent reply, “But I didn’t! He spit on himself just to get me in trouble!”

The Truth Comes Out

Where’s Solomon when you need him? Why can’t school buses be equipped with portable DNA equipment? How was I supposed to determine who spit on whom? How could I prove who needed to be punished with a stern warning and a verbal reprimand? The answer came in a way I never would have dreamed, but I will never forget.

“Mr. Baker…” Jill had made her way back up to the seat behind me, again while I was driving. “Jill, you need to sit down!” I told her.

“But Mr. Baker…” Let me just pause here to try to describe Jill’s way of saying my name. Jill spoke with a slightly non-emotional, matter-of-fact, drawn-out southern drawl. It sounded more like “Miiis-turr Buh-ayyy-kurr…”

“Mr. Baker, I didn’t spit on Jack; he spit on the seats and then on himself to make it look like I did it,” she said. “But I didn’t, and I can prove it.”

“Really,” I asked.

“Yessir,” Jill replied. “You see, Jack was eating green candy, and the spit on his shirt was green – mine is not…SEE!

At that point, just around my right shoulder, came the arm of a little girl. Attached to that arm was a palm, and in that palm was half an ounce of spit – yes, spit! It looked like a blob of clear silicone!

“It wasn’t me that spit, ‘cause my spit is clear, seeeee Mr. Baker?”

I couldn’t argue with her. She proved her point. There was the proof puddled in the palm of her hand, clear as day. I nearly threw up.

Life Lesson

We may not like it, but sometimes the truth is hard to stomach – and nothing like what we expected.

The simple fact is that truth isn’t always pleasant; more often it is nasty. No woman wants to hear the truth when she asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”  No man wants to hear the truth when he asks, “How did I do with the laundry?” But sometimes the truth has to be told to make a difference. Unfortunately, to play off the words of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, many can’t handle the truth.

For example, there is a saying that goes, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Do you know where that saying came from? It comes from Jesus. He said, “If you continue in my word, then you are my disciples indeed; and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:31-32). The part that is hard for many to stomach is the part where He says, “If you continue in my word…” In other words, in order to know the truth that will set one free, one must be a follower of Jesus Christ.

Some say that truth is relative, that it changes with the circumstances of life. Others have said that there is no truth, only perception (Gustave Flaubert). However, without truth there can be no lie, no wrong, and no remedy for the spit on some kid’s shirt, not to mention the darkness in our hearts. But when we follow Jesus, we can rest assured there is Truth to know, for He said in John 14:6, “I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE…”

Route Suggestions

  • When faced with a tough situation, one that demands you make a wise decision, ask God for help. James 1:5 says, “If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God…”
  • Don’t ask someone to tell you the truth about how you look, how well you’re doing your job, etc., unless you’re willing to hear the truth.
  • Don’t “kill the messenger.” If someone does try to tell the truth, don’t get angry when they say the dress makes you look fat. Just get angry because they weren’t sensitive enough to change the subject.
  • Read the book of John in the Bible. Make a list of the claims that Jesus made. Was He telling the truth? For the atheist or agnostic, that may be a truth too hard to handle, but it can set you free.

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Filed under book review, Faith, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, salvation

Top 7 Reasons Why I’d Like to Go Back to Disney World

The following are seven reasons why I’d like to go back to Disney World in Orlando, Florida – tomorrow, if I could. Sure, there are other places I want to visit, but the following reasons are why I would like to go back to Disney, even if I could go other places, too.

This is NOT a commercial. Just random-though blogging.

If you know anyone with connections, give them my number.

7. Bragging Rights

Let’s face it, if you can afford to take your family to Disney World, you either know how to save or have more money than your neighbor. Seriously, have you priced Disney lately? If I went I would take my wife and daughters and stay in the park (which is the ONLY way to go). We’re talking between 4 and 5,000 dollars for a family of four!

6. It’s been too long.

The last time we went was in 2007. We went that year because I won the trip by winning a dance-off at a motivational seminar. Yes, I danced like an idiot in front of 5,000 people and got a standing ovation, destroying my competition. My wife said I’d never pastor a church in Chattanooga after that showing, but we got a trip to Disney and my performance never made it to YouTube – so there.

5. The atmosphere.

If you have never been to Disney, then you have no concept of quality control. If you have ever visited any other theme park or amusement park, once you set foot in Disney World you will immediately notice a difference: I call it “atmosphere control.”

Disney is all about image. Everything is kept in top-notch condition and service is wonderful. There is a purposeful, intentional striving toward maintaining a specific mood throughout the multiple parks. From the smells to the music to the people, everything is meant to illicit happiness and warmth. Is it sorta like brainwashing and mind control? Maybe, but it works – and it takes your mind off of the real, chaotic world.

4. The “rides.”

Anyone, young and old, can have fun at Disney World. There is so much to see and do, especially when it comes to the rides.

Now, when I say “rides,” don’t automatically assume I’m referring to roller coasters and such. The rides at Disney are so much more than that – sooooo much more. For instance, in the Animal Kingdom (one of the massive parks at Disney) one of the rides involves loading up into a real truck and going on a real safari! I’m not talking about some cheesy vehicle attached to a rail transporting you around a zoo. Honestly, the last time we were there, our truck had to slow down, even pause, as a real giraffe decided to take its time walking in our path!

Other rides include Soaring, which will make you swear you are really flying in a hang glider over an orange grove in California; the Hollywood Tower of Terror, which will make you believe you are in the Twilight Zone – for real; and a space ship simulator that comes with real air-sickness bags – because it’s that realistic!

Below is a link I found with the video of what is shown inside the Mission Mars ride. Believe me, it is totally intense. This ride is built on a centrifuge that can go from 0-4 g’s in 2 seconds! THAT’S why it’s so realistic! And all the while you are inside what looks and feels like a real space ship capsule. AWESOME!

3. EPCOT

My favorite place to visit in Disney World is the World Showcase in EPCOT. If you never visited another country, or if you’d like to pretend you’ve visited 10 of them in a day, then the World Showcase is for you. For example, walk into a Mexican pyramid and you will be transported to a star-lit courtyard in a small, Mexican village. There you will find shops, a restaurant, vendors, and street musicians playing songs about cockroaches and big hats. Or, if you would like to visit China, there you would be surrounded by color, flowers, and unbelievable acrobats.

Each “country” in the World Showcase is staffed by people from that country. If you go to Italy and want to eat at the restaurant, then real Italians are going to serve you. The same goes with Morocco, France, Canada, England, Germany, etc. When we ate in England, the Beatles were playing across the street as I tried to understand my waitress – I asked her, “I know you’re English, but can you speak English?”

2. The resorts.

No joke, if you ever get a chance to go to Disney, stay in one of their resorts on-site AND get the “meal plan.”

I am not exaggerating when I say that you could spend your entire trip to Disney just visiting the resorts and hotels on the property. Each one has a different theme, its own attractions, and get this – when you stay in one, you can visit them ALL! Also, unlimited transportation to and from the park, and all the resorts, is INCLUDED!

And when it comes to the food, oh my gosh! You will never regret purchasing a meal plan. Trust me on this one. Without it you’d have to be double rich to purchase separately what is included in the plan. And believe me, you don’t want to miss out on being able to order whatever you want off the menu in places like the Crystal Palace in Magic Kingdom.

1. I need a vacation. Really.

I am tired of hearing about ISIS, Ebola, elections, and healthcare. I need a dose of non-reality. I need an imagination fix. I want to feel like a little kid again, if only for a week.

Anyone else want to go?

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Filed under General Observations

Overtaken vs. Granted

Scary Things

There aren’t many of things that scare me now that I am an adult. However, as a child I lived in dread of a lot of things. I was afraid of vampires, clowns, Russians, and girls with cooties. Now I know that vampires can be killed with a good flashlight (the handle part, that is) and Russia is less of a threat than China, I think. However, clowns and girls are still a problem.

On the other hand, I used to love to fly in airplanes, drink from unwashed soda cans and public water fountains, and drive sports cars at ungodly rates of speed down curvy mountain roads. Now, as an adult, I know that it takes a long time to fall from 30,000 feet, germs are everywhere, and deer have a habit of walking in front of good drivers.

But the biggest thing is that most of the scary things in life are either in my mind, or avoidable. I have no fear of them eventually catching up with me. If killer bees get too close, I’ll just move. The wicked, however, have no such hope.

Gonna Getcha

The fear of the wicked, it shall come upon him: but the desire of the righteous shall be granted. – Proverbs 10:24

I like the way the NIV translates the first part of this verse, “What the wicked dreads will overtake him…” This proverb is telling us that the wicked are running from something, while the righteous are running to something. And more than that, whatever the wicked are fleeing from will eventually catch up.

What do the wicked fear? What will eventually overtake them? A few things come to mind: being alone, pain, loss, falling, and death.  Huh…coincidentally, all of those will be present in hell. Go figure.

Gonna Grant It

But for the righteous…the ones who know every good gift is from God, the ones who know grace can’t be earned…their desires will be granted.

Amazing, isn’t it? What does the righteous desire? To be loved. To be healed. To have treasure that won’t decay. To be caught up. To have eternal life. Wow! Everything that heaven will bring!

But there’s one more thing: the righteous will welcomed into the presence of their greatest Desire – Jesus.

Don’t run from Jesus. Run to Him. Make Jesus your desire.

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Feedback Needed! Don’t Be a Snotty Susie!

The following is an excerpt from a new book I am trying to complete within the next few days. It will be called Life Lessons from the School Bus. Let me know what you think. Marketable? Funny? Gets the point across? 

“Losing Marbles”

Once there was a little girl on my bus who cried over everything, especially when she didn’t get her way.  She ended up losing her marbles.

Snotty Susie

One morning this little girl – let’s just call her “Snotty Susie” – was crying about how everybody hated her.  Seriously, not two minutes after getting on the bus she started in with her caterwauling (the howling or wailing noise a cat makes). For the next 15 minutes the rest of the kids tried to console her, but all she kept saying through the sniffing, slobbering and crying was “Nobody wants to be my friend! Everybody hates me! WAAAAAH!

Fortunately, we reached the elementary school before everyone went deaf from the crying. Then, just as “Snotty Susie” was stepping off the bus, a little boy who had gotten off in front of her looked back and said, “Nobody hates you, Susie; we just don’t like you.”

At least the little guy was being honest.

The Great Giveaway

Well, that afternoon, when the elementary kids were getting on the bus to go home, “Susie” got on first and sat on the front row. “Would you like a marble, Mr. Baker?” she asked. “No,” I said, “I have plenty.”

What kind do you have?” she asked. “The round kind,” I replied.

Then, as the other children entered the bus, just as soon as they walked past her, she would ask, “Would you like a marble? You can have it for keeps. EVERYONE! Get your FREE marble, if you WANT one!

I asked, “What are you doing? Why are you giving away your marbles?” She said, “Because I am going to MAKE them like me.

Honestly, I felt sorry for the poor little girl. No one had ever taught her how to make friends.

Life Lesson

When we treat people poorly, and then try to buy their friendship with shiny trinkets, we end up losing our marbles.

“Snotty Susie” usually had a bad attitude about everything. She regularly talked mean to other kids, made fun of them, and then cried out in emotional pain when someone wasn’t nice to her. No one wanted to be her friend because she was NOT friendly! She couldn’t even buy friends for a day.

The saddest part was that I picked up a handful of marbles after all the children got off.

Route Suggestions

  • King Solomon said, “A man that has friends must show himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). How can you be nice to someone today?
  • Don’t try to buy your friends. If you do, you’ll just go broke (marble deficient) trying to keep them.
  • Don’t let anyone buy YOUR friendship. Be a real friend to somebody who’s a marble short.

[UPDATED IN AN ATTEMPT TO BE LESS SOPHOMORIC. I HOPE IT WORKED.]

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Filed under book review, Humor, Life Lessons