My daughter Katie is allergic to a list of things, and although the list is not a long one, it does include bacon, so she does deserve our pity.
On the other hand, our young and uber-talented pianist at church, Olivia, has list of allergies longer than the strings on a Steinway concert grand! Seriously! Let’s just put it this way: just listening to the song “99 Balloons” could kill her.
But for me, I’m allergic to nothing… well, almost nothing. I’m not allergic to any foods, liquids, or chemicals; I don’t reach for an EpiPen whenever I see a bee; nor do I provide a list of medicines that could kill me should I visit a doctor.
I am, however, allergic to one thing… PAIN. The following are symptoms I experience when I receive a dose of pain, each one varying based on the length or intensity of exposure:
- Immediate onset of watery eyes, the accumulating result being streams of salty fluid running down my face.
- Widening of the eyes.
- Convulsions of the hand and fingers, usually in conjunction with flailing arms and connecting concussions with inanimate objects.
- Mental delusions, temporary insanity, and near-death experiences.
- Random bouts of temporary-onset Tourette Syndrome.
Some people say “pain is weakness leaving your body.” To those people, I say, “Go eat a worm.”
Unfortunately, barring being put into a coma – and that’s no guarantee – I will have to suffer with my pain allergy until the day I die. There is no known cure on this earth, only items meant to temporarily mask or lessen the effects of the allergic reaction.
But someday… one day… I will have a new body! No more pain allergies for me!
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. – Rev 21:4 KJV
No allergy shots in Heaven!
The Recovering Legalist 