Tag Archives: adultery

Adultery and Saints: What Ephesians 5 Says

Credit: Unknown

A word of advice:

When you pound the pulpit, make sure your fist splashes in tears.

That’s the way I felt this past Sunday when I preached a difficult sermon on adultery. I had to “pound the pulpit,” but my heart was broken for those who really need to repent.

You see, I know that there are those of us who’ve been affected by unfaithfulness or been unfaithful. Maybe you’ve even experienced the pain and devastation that divorce brings.

Some of you reading this have stumbled, fallen, and now would do anything to turn back the clock and erase the steps you took that led to failed relationships. If you could go back, you’d never be the “prodigal.”

You are not the primary audience for this sermon.

No, this sermon is mainly meant for those who think sexual sin is just something natural, excusable, and no big deal. Most importantly, t’s a wake-up call to those who may have been deceived into thinking their eternity is secure.

It’s a sermon that I hope God will use not only to restore some wounded relationships, but open the blinded eyes of the lost to the Light of salvation.

Listen and Share

I’m so tired of seeing marriages fail, people hurt, and children suffer. It doesn’t have to be!

I’d like to invite you to listen to the sermon I preached this past Sunday (Feb. 16, 2020) at Bethlehem Baptist Church. I hope it will encourage you to strengthen what you have, avoid temptation, and, if you feel inclined, examine your relationship with Jesus Christ.

And, if it’s a blessing to you, share it with someone.

To listen, click the “Sermon Audio” box, or just click HERE for “Adultery and Saints: What Ephesians 5 Says.” 


Oh, one last thing! … If you make it all the way to the end of the recording, you’ll get to hear my wife admit to the whole congregation that she needs to be a better wife! 🙂  No joke!

And I didn’t know it was coming!

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Filed under Culture Wars, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Family, Marriage, Relationships and Family

Unrepentant Adultery and the Christian: Can the Two Co-Exist?

Gotta Say It

Have you ever been in a room full of people… maybe even a few… and they were talking about something… something you’re passionate about… and they were either arrogantly boasting like they knew what they were talking about,  or they were talking like there were no answers to the subject at hand… or, even worse, they were completely off their rocker with their conclusions?

And, if you’ve ever been in a room like that, have you ever gotten fed up to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore, stood up in your chair, and belted out, “OK, I gotta say something!”?

Well, that’s what I’m doing right now…

I’ve gotta say something.

Good and Bad

Today is Valentine’s Day (happy Valentine’s Day to you). It’s a day that, for me, always comes with a mixed bag of emotions and thoughts. For one, I’m glad we have a day that promotes the good things about being “in love” and the valuing of other people, especially women. For the record, it’s a holiday that is banned in several Muslim countries, including the Muslim districts of others, all because it’s considered a Christian holiday and overvalues women. Think about that for a second.

On the other hand, Valentine’s Day is rife with the stereotypical misrepresentations of true love and overflowing with encouragements to sin. And by sin, I mean fornication, adultery, lust, envy, you name it. The worst part is that it’s a day when the sexual aspects of relationships are elevated above everything else, including fidelity, trust, compassion, and selflessness.

So, it’s because of the subject matter of the day that I come to you, dear reader, to vent my frustration and hopefully offer some common sense and biblical wisdom.

Too Many

Image result for divorce imagesIf there had been only one broken relationship, only one divorce, only one potentially devastated child come to my attention in the last couple of weeks, that would still be too many. Yet, just this week I’m looking at several couples and families being destroyed, or potentially destroyed, by adultery and divorce.

On that note, let’s get real and ditch the nice-sounding labels and socially-palatable descriptions of sin, shall we? Married people don’t have “affairs”; they commit adultery.

The word affair makes it sound like you’ve done nothing more than go out for a walk, picked up some coffee, then – oops! – somebody flirted! But whether or not you sipped a milkshake with somebody besides your spouse; looked at porn in order to get the affirmation your wife wouldn’t give; or told yourself he’d be better off with you than his wife, so you pushed his buttons until he undid yours… it’s ALL ADULTERY.

I’m seeing too many people who call themselves Christians shacking up, playing house, competing with spouses, sharing spouses, buttering up kids that don’t belong to them, and jumping under the sheets like it’s nothing more than a workout at the gym! Folks, it’s called fornication, adultery, greed, idolatry, and, if you want to be honest, murder (because you’re killing – putting “assunder” – what God has joined together).

What’s Even Worse

And get this! As if committing adultery wasn’t bad enough, there are those out there who do these things on a regular basis, then brazenly go to a place of worship!

Think about that… they are sexually active, committing adultery, and going to church together… in public… with no shame or regret. Does it ever occur to them that they are there to worship the Savior who died to save them from the wages of sin? That He bore their pet sin on the cross?

This is the very sin of which Jesus was speaking when he told the woman about to be stoned, “Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11).

And people wonder whether or not God is merciful! God killed Ananias and Sapphira for lying to the Holy Spirit (Acts 5), yet they use HIS house to play house? Do they think that God approves of this?

Blind, Hardened, and Lost

Why am I writing this? Because I am sick to my stomach. I’m heartbroken. People I love are playing with fire and risking the judgment of God.

I am fearful, also, because those who are doing these things are convinced they are right with God … saved, born again, going to heaven. They have assumed their ticket for the Glory Train has been punched, that their spot is secure, nobody’s perfect, and God is going to love them, anyway. Worst comes to worse, they will deal with the consequences when they come… then, when they are ready, “He is faithful and just to cleanse them from all unrighteousness.” …which, by the way, is the sin of presumption.

Dear friend, if this is you, I fear you’ve been blinded by the Enemy, your sinful heart has been hardened, and you are most likely lost without Christ and on your way to eternal destruction.

How Can I Say That?

Right now there are some of you who are probably thinking I’m some pulpit-banging, self-righteous preacher spitting and yelling at you. You might have a picture in your mind of a red-faced, polyester-suit-wearing, hateful wingnut pointing his finger at you and yelling “sinnerrrrr!” through gritted teeth.

But I’m not; I’m weeping for you! Because somehow, somewhere, you’ve forgotten some very important facts:

  • “But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.” – Proverbs 6:32 NLT
  • “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” – 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 NKJV
  • “Marriage [is] honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” – Hebrews 13:4
  • “Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” – James 4:4

You might also be convinced that since somewhere in the past you “got saved” or “became a Christian” that even if you regularly fornicate or commit adultery, your salvation is secure. If you are referring to “eternal security,” I believe in that!

However, it’s one thing to mess up and give in to temptation, be remorseful, repent, and ask God to forgive you; but continually and willfully living in outward disobedience to God is something altogether different and is evidence you’ve never been redeemed. If you are truly a new creation, old things are passed away (2 Cor. 5:17), and what is “new” will want to “keep my commandments” (John 14:15).

The FACT, as stated in the above Scriptures, is that adulterers and adulteresses are ENEMIES OF GOD and WILL NOT inherit the kingdom of God!

In other words, those people who are not born again believers in Jesus Christ, but deceived souls whose nature has never been changed (which is evident by their unrepentant, unashamed, unabashed regular actions that fly in the face of God’s clear commands) will, unfortunately, go to hell.

Am I perfect? No. I don’t pretend to be.

Do I sin? Yes. But I regret it every time and try to avoid the next time.

Blatant rebellion is not what I’m known for; I’m not characterized by it. I have a new nature that fights with the lusts of the flesh in which I live (Rom. 7:14-25), but until this “mortality puts on immortality” (1 Cor. 15:54), the struggle will always be difficult and real. Temptations are around every corner these days.

But if you call yourself a follower of Jesus; if you know what God has said about marriage and adultery; yet, you continue in your sin, like it’s no big deal, you might do well to reexamine your salvation.

“Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.” – 2 Corinthians 13:5 NLT

Because I care, I had to say something.

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Filed under Christianity, Family, Marriage, Relationships and Family

Don’t Be Immoral; Be Thankful

Title Undetermined

As I sit down to type this, I still don’t have a title for the post. Several things have crossed my mind, but nothing has clicked.

When I got to thinking about it, maybe that’s a good thing: having a title before the piece is written could affect what I write. So, I’m going to share what’s on my mind, then come up with a title – hopefully a catchy one.

Ephesians 5:23

I was reading through the Book of Ephesians and got to the passage you see in the photo (that’s actually from my Bible). The last part of verse 4 stood out to me so much that I grabbed a couple of colored pencils and marked it (yellow and orange).

But rather… What you have here is an either/or kinda thing. It’s a contrasting statement. Instead of doing one thing, do something else. And what is it that we are to do other than something else?

Give thanks.  Giving thanks is the contrasting opposite to six things described in verses 3 and 4. And what are those things?

  • fornication (πορνεία porneía): any illicit sexual activity outside of marriage
  • all uncleanness (ἀκαθαρσία akatharsía): in a moral sense: the impurity of lustful, luxurious, profligate living
  • covetousness (πλεονεξία pleonexía): the greedy desire to have more
  • filthiness (αἰσχρότης aischrótēs): obscenity
  • foolish talking (μωρολογία mōrología): stupid or rash conversation; like the conversation of a drunk man
  • jesting (εὐτραπελία eutrapelía): witty talk, usually with double, vulgar meanings 

Corruption and Comedy.  Notice, the first three (in verse 3) have to do with immoral actions and desires, while the last three (verse 4) have more to do with talking about it. Isn’t that what most comedians talk about?

Unbecoming.  The fact is that sexual immorality, along with even joking about it, does not “become” saints (Christians). It doesn’t look good on us. We can do better.

Beautiful thanks.  Giving thanks IS becoming! Giving thanks to God for all His blessings is a beautiful thing! It looks great on those who wear the name of Christ.

Why the Highlighted Part?

So why did I highlight the last part of verse 4? it’s because when I looked back at all the sexual sins that are so unbecoming, all of them have roots in ungratefulness.

Simply put, if we would just be thankful and content with what God has given us, then we wouldn’t try to seek out sinful activities to satisfy our longings. It really does make me think the last days are getting closer.

“For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, proud, demeaning, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,” – 2 Timothy 3:2 CSB

Let’s be thankful for what we have and leave what we don’t have alone.

It’s more becoming that way. 

(Now I have to think of a title…hmm.)

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Filed under Christian Living, Christianity, Culture Wars, Thanksgiving

26 Ways to Contribute to a Ruined Marriage

Like I mentioned in a previous post, because it is both Father’s Day AND our wedding anniversary, I thought I would share with you a list of things I jotted down the other night when I couldn’t go to sleep.

Folks, there are a lot of resources out there meant to help your marriage to succeed. However, not a lot of them specifically deal with things that can ruin your marriage. So, after 23 years of everything from marital bliss to marital warfare, I can speak with authority about the following items.

Why 26? Because that’s where I decided to stop. Each one of these could be expanded upon and sub-pointed.

26 Ways to Contribute to a Ruined Marriage (in no particular order)

  1. Never pray together as a couple.
  2. Think about yourself more than your spouse.
  3. Believe that what matters most is your personal happiness.
  4. Never pray for each other.
  5. Pursuing your own interests while ignoring those of your spouse.
  6. Saying negative things about your spouse to other people (especially those of the opposite sex).
  7. Having a “Plan B.”
  8. Spending all your time, energy, and money on your kids.
  9. Avoiding sexual intimacy.
  10. Pornography (soft sore, hard core, in print, in video, in literature – doesn’t matter).
  11. Flirting with others.
  12. Arguing and/or fighting, but with the sole objectives being to win or hurt the other.
  13. Materialism.
  14. Complacency.
  15. Bitterness.
  16. Not putting God first.
  17. Using each other.
  18. Lack of trust.
  19. Lack of, or poor communication.
  20. Baggage not dealt with.
  21. Running to Mother.
  22. Lack of leadership (for men).
  23. Lack of submission (for women).
  24. Too many single friends.
  25. Fear of / intimidated by your children.
  26. Pride.

Honestly, any one of the above items could lead to disaster, but what about when several of them are in play? The Enemy would love nothing better than to see your marriage fall to pieces or be nothing more than an empty shell.

Start over and give your relationships to God. He can rescue you, heal you, and restore you – but only if you will let Him.

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Filed under Marriage, Struggles and Trials

The Fill-In-the-Blank-ers Should Protest

In a culture where self-identification is the norm and homosexuality has become the new 90-foot golden statue of Nebuchadnezzar* before which all must bow, a lot of other sinners are getting shortchanged.

As recently as this June another, …umm, “popular” …umm, “Christian” musician (Trey Pearson) came out of the proverbial closet and admitted he is gay. The married (to a woman) father of two admitted that he’d been hiding his true feelings for too long, trying to be something he was not meant to be. Marriage vows and children aside, it was time to give in to his desires and finally enjoy his life the way he believe God intended.

From his “coming out” letter…

“I know I have a long way to go. But if this honesty with myself about who I am, and who I was made by God to be, doesn’t constitute as the peace that passes all understanding, then I don’t know what does. It is like this weight I have been carrying my whole life has been lifted from me, and I have never felt such freedom.”

“In sharing this publicly I’m taking another step into health and wholeness by accepting myself, and every part of me. It’s not only an idea for me that I’m gay; It’s my life. This is me being authentic and real with myself and other people. This is a part of who I am.” – click for source

Now, let’s not get all tangled up in the doctrinal issues surrounding Trey’s treatment the “peace that passes all understanding.” After all, how can we blame poor Mr. Pearson too harshly for his heresy when his mentor and former pastor is Love Wins! himself, Rob Bell?

No, for the sake of this discussion, let’s focus more on something else: the glorification, affirmation, and weight-shifting freedom associated with one admitting and embracing his divorce-inducing sexual activity. 

Do a search of all the articles written in support of not only Trey Pearson, but Ray Boltz (came out in 2004) and others, all who left their wife and kids behind to follow the leading of their passions – their “true” selves. What you will find are accolades, praises, whole-hearted attaboys for men (and women) who’ve broken sacred vows and left their spouses and children to pick up the pieces.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but despite the illiterate notions that Jesus never addressed homosexuality, thereby condoning it, didn’t He say something very clearly about divorce? And what about adultery? Isn’t that one of the big “Thou shalt not’s”?

Here is my question and the subject for this post:

If homosexuality is to be considered a sin no longer, all because it corresponds with one’s sexual desires; and if one’s sexual desires should not be repressed if one’s sexual desires constitute one’s identity; what other up-till-now adherent behavior, along with all recognized “normal” behavior, could be used to justify breaking the clearly outlined command of God, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”?

Countless men are walking away from marriages and being praised for it. “Brave” and “courageous” are what they’re called. They succumb to desires which for some reason have become attached to their nature and demand to be respected. The wife and children are mentioned only as a sidebar to the “valor” of the adulterer, and the clearly delineated commands of God are relegated to a dusty “suggestion” box.

What then of the regular adulterer? What then of any number of definers by which one self-identifies? Fill in the blank with whatever you want – voyeur, philanderer, exhibitionist, pedophile, scumbag. Who are we to ostracize any of these if in the event of coming out of their own closets they bring about the destruction of a family unit? Should we not praise them for being brave?

Let us re-read the following part from Trey Pearson’s letter, only this time let’s replace “gay” with a blank.

“In sharing this publicly I’m taking another step into health and wholeness by accepting myself, and every part of me. It’s not only an idea for me that I’m ______; It’s my life. This is me being authentic and real with myself and other people. This is a part of who I am.”

What if we were to insert adulterer? For that matter, what if we were to insert “a fisherman“? As a heterosexual male, I was born – made by God – with a built-in desire to have sex with women. Should I say, “That’s my life, to have sex with multiple women,” would I be taking a step toward wholeness? What if I said, “Fishing is my LIFE!”? Should I be praised for walking away from my marriage vows to catch trout?

Because of the self-identification craze, more and more people are allowing themselves the excuse to give in to every carnal desire and label it as “health and wholeness.” Yet, sad to say, it is a false peace to which they are clinging as their understanding is darkened. They have believed a lie.

In the meantime, a whole lot of other guys are still paying the price for their taboo actions. When will the culture recognize they’re just being true to themselves? Hmmm?

Why should only certain groups have a monopoly on 90-foot idols? Maybe those fill-in-the-blank-ers should protest!

Meanwhile, Shadrach, they’re heating up the furnace.

 

* See Daniel 3:1-30

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Filed under Christianity, Culture Wars, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, Marriage