Like I mentioned in a previous post, because it is both Father’s Day AND our wedding anniversary, I thought I would share with you a list of things I jotted down the other night when I couldn’t go to sleep.
Folks, there are a lot of resources out there meant to help your marriage to succeed. However, not a lot of them specifically deal with things that can ruin your marriage. So, after 23 years of everything from marital bliss to marital warfare, I can speak with authority about the following items.
Why 26? Because that’s where I decided to stop. Each one of these could be expanded upon and sub-pointed.
26 Ways to Contribute to a Ruined Marriage (in no particular order)
- Never pray together as a couple.
- Think about yourself more than your spouse.
- Believe that what matters most is your personal happiness.
- Never pray for each other.
- Pursuing your own interests while ignoring those of your spouse.
- Saying negative things about your spouse to other people (especially those of the opposite sex).
- Having a “Plan B.”
- Spending all your time, energy, and money on your kids.
- Avoiding sexual intimacy.
- Pornography (soft sore, hard core, in print, in video, in literature – doesn’t matter).
- Flirting with others.
- Arguing and/or fighting, but with the sole objectives being to win or hurt the other.
- Not putting God first.
- Using each other.
- Lack of trust.
- Lack of, or poor communication.
- Baggage not dealt with.
- Running to Mother.
- Lack of leadership (for men).
- Lack of submission (for women).
- Too many single friends.
- Fear of / intimidated by your children.
Honestly, any one of the above items could lead to disaster, but what about when several of them are in play? The Enemy would love nothing better than to see your marriage fall to pieces or be nothing more than an empty shell.
Start over and give your relationships to God. He can rescue you, heal you, and restore you – but only if you will let Him.