Unbelievable
It’s now been 5 years ago that the former president of Planned Parenthood, Cecile Richards, was suggesting gifts for Valentine’s Day, and I feel the story is worth repeating.
I really appreciated it, too, because, as a guy who wants to impress his girl, every little suggestion for something new can help.
So, what did Ms. Richards suggest? What did she share on her Twitter account that we men needed to know? What, pray tell, are we supposed to go out and purchase this year?
Roses? Candy? Diamonds? A new car? Tickets to the opera? A new dress? A year’s supply of lipstick? Dinner at Tavern on the Green? A Ruth’s Chris gift certificate? A singing candy gram? A day at the most expensive beauty salon? An exotic vacation to Hawaii?
No. According to Cecile Richards, the one thing that EVERY woman REALLY needs for Valentine’s Day is…no joking…an ABORTION!
Interesting…don’t you think? I wonder how that would work? Maybe it would go like this…
“Sweetie, you’ll never guess what I got you this year for Valentines Day!”
“OH! I’m so excited! What is it my dearest?”
“Are you sitting down? I bought you an abortion! Isn’t it great?!”
“AAAHHH! You are SOOO sweet! You knew that little parasite that started growing inside of me after we had pre-marital, un-protected, lust-driven sex was going to hamper my hedonistic desire for consequence-free pleasure, didn’t you? I knew you cared.”
“Hey! Don’t mention it! There’s a lot more where that came from. So, once you survive having that blob of non-human cells ripped out of your uterus, let’s forget all about all that free contraception we’re being offered, and just go for it! What do you say?”
“You really know how to treat a woman, don’t you?”
God help us! Have mercy on us!
Lord in heaven, open Cecile Richards’ eyes to the murderous lunacy that is her idiotic suggestion!
Wouldn’t a box of chocolates and a dozen roses be a much better idea?











Freaky Friday Rhyming News
Rhyming
It’s just another freaky Friday, I suppose.
Before I head out, I’ll tell you why I think so.
And by the way, it wasn’t my objective
To write a post with a rhyming perspective
Nevertheless, tis the way it is going to be
I can’t stop now… It’ll be OK, you’ll see.
Scouting
Who would have thought in 1910
That the boys would allow the girls an in?
For equality’s sake, because of pouts,
Boys cannot be boys, but there’s still a Girl Scouts.
Funny thing, I was talking with my daughter
After getting worried and creating some laughter.
Seems I stressed over nothing, even thought she’s eighteen
Only boys must register; girls get off clean!
Well, don’t women serve now in all the military?
“Well, yes,” said my wife, “but it’s all voluntary.”
But what about equality? What about being fair?
I was spitting into the wind – nobody cares.
I think what it’s really all about
Is that girls always win when they learn how to pout.
Young man, forget to register and you’ll forfeit student loans
But try to make it fair and all you’ll hear will be groans.
“Give us what we want when we want it – TODAY!
Because what you have is what we want, now go away!”
So,
Distinctives only matter when the one crying “equality”
Demands her specificity is manifested in your polity.
And when you’ve abandoned whatever makes you unique
She’ll keep her own distinctives and call you a freak.
Greening
AOC (Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) D-New York
But speaking of freaky and totally spacey
Have you heard the proposal from the young AOC?
The Green New Deal, or something like that
Will never go through – It will surely fall flat.
On the other hand, what’s scary is that some take it serious
And that’s why our national future is perilous.
No more emissions, no more traveling by plane
In only ten years we’ll be riding on trains
Retrofit or rebuild every building in the land
And guarantee jobs for every woman and man.
Did I mention there’ll be chargers at every hand?
And, oh, by the way, we’re now on a mission
To inform all Hispanics that they’re Native American.
(No Joke about that last part – Here’s a link)
Conclusion
You may think I’m crazy or am going to far,
But read the newspaper or hear the news in your car.
There’s literally too much to absorb. It’s all crazy!
And that’s why I believe it’s a freaky Friday.
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Tagged as AOC, commentary, Green Deal, news, Poetry