I hate it when I sin.
Some people hate to get caught, but I wasn’t caught. No one saw or heard or anything – only God.
I hate it when I sin because of the feeling it leaves, the drain on emotions, and the sense of powerlessness that leads to feelings of failure, defeat.
I hate it when I sin because I knew better! I knew better! It’s not like I didn’t know the consequences. It wasn’t like this was something I’d never before encountered. I just walked right into the sin and just committed it, just like it was the natural thing to do.
Oh, but that’s the issue, isn’t it? Nature. That battle between the redeemed and the unredeemed, the spirit and the flesh. How I look forward to the day when this tent in which I dwell is redeemed, also!
I hate it when I sin!
But you may be asking, “Aren’t you a pastor? Aren’t you supposed to be a spiritual and religious leader? How can you be talking about ‘sin’ like this? Won’t it hurt your reputation?”
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. – 1 John 1:8
The Truth is in me. I’m not perfect, just forgiven.
And that’s really why I hate it when I sin; it’s because I know I’m forgiven! Yes, I’m already forgiven! I’ve been saved, justified, reborn, adopted, and have received the righteousness of Christ…and I know a little about what it took for that to happen…
“Forgiven” by Thomas Blackshear
It took the Cross! It took Calvary! It took Jesus bearing my griefs…carrying my sorrows…being stricken and smitten of God…being afflicted…being wounded for MY transgressions…being bruised for MY iniquities…accepting MY chastisement…and taking MY stripes so that I could walk away free (see Isaiah 53:4-5).
He – Jesus – did all that for me…all because of my sin…because He loves me (Romans 5:8).
But you may ask: “If you know you are already forgiven, then what keeps you from going out and sinning all you want?”
Two reasons. First, my “want to” has been changed. Second, it’s like the Apostle Paul said it: the love of Christ constraineth me (2 Corinthians 5:14). The thought of His love for me…what it took to redeem me from sin…to purchase my salvation…what He endured on that cross…the scourging He willingly accepted…it’s like ropes wrapped around me, binding me, “constraining” me.
Nevertheless, there are times when I sin. And I hate it. Romans 7:15-25 just about sums it up.
I thank God that where my sin did abound, grace…OH! What a word!…did much more abound (Romans 5:20)!
Then you may ask: “Well, if there’s more grace than there is sin to forgive, why not just keep sinning so that grace may ‘abound’ even more?”
Read Romans 6, is all I can say.
If you sin just because you can…there’s probably something major you’ve missed along the way. Maybe there’s nothing “constraining” you.
I hate it when I sin.
God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore the joy of your salvation to me, and sustain me by giving me a willing spirit. Then I will teach the rebellious your ways, and sinners will return to you. – Psalm 51:10-13 CSB