Tag Archives: Friendship

by | May 17, 2016 · 11:24 pm

I Lost a Friend, and It Hurts

It Happens

If you live long enough, you’ll start losing friends. As a matter of fact, the older you get the more often it happens. That’s the problem with people – we die.

It’s not pleasant to think about, but we need to. So often we get caught up in day-to-day life and all its demands, and we rarely stop to consider that every passing moment is one less we have to live, that our clock is winding down. And what’s more, no one knows how much time is left.

I’m not one who will concede that death is just a natural part of life, for it was an intruder that came along after sin crept in and ruined creation. Yet, since the fall death is the constant we can all count on.

You can get out of paying taxes, but you can’t escape death. That’s an appointment we all must keep.

It Happened to a Friend

david bookhardt 2Yesterday (Monday), a little after 5 p.m., a friend of mine, David Bookhardt, died in a head-on collision, along with the young father driving the other vehicle. It’s hard to put into words how much of a shock it was to hear the news, and it’s still difficult to believe.

I didn’t know David Bookhardt for that long, only a few years. We weren’t very close friends, but he was a man with whom I could share my heart. You see, David had a big enough heart that when I unloaded mine, he could keep a smile. That made him a friend like few others.

I know  a whole lot of people – maybe too many. But David Bookhardt was the type of friend that you couldn’t have too many of. He was kind, uncritical, positive, and an ever-willing mentor. As a businessman, few could compare with his disarming personality, one that made you genuinely comfortable, trusting his expertise. And on those long drives across state lines, or on those long days prospecting for new clients, he was all about bringing you up to his level.

david bookhardt about

The “About” from one of David Bookhardt’s blogs.

My Condolences

Like I mentioned, I was not as close to David as many others, and I was only able to meet a couple of his family members in the short time I knew him. On the other hand, I met many, many who called David a friend.

Therefore, to the family and friends of David Bookhardt, I offer my most heartfelt condolences. If the loss I feel is so weighty, I can only imagine the burden you bear.

But we “do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope. Since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, in the same way God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep through Jesus. … For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the archangel’s voice, and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are still alive will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, 16-18 HCSB

David Bookhardt - The Best Credit Card Guy

David Bookhardt – The “Best Credit Card Guy”

 

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by | March 21, 2016 · 6:00 am

Rock’n and Blog’n

Honored

It was such an honor to take part in the Third Periodic Blogger Convention held in Chattanooga, TN!

Actually, what really happened was that once again I got to meet up with fellow Christian bloggers and spend some time getting to know each other in the non-digital world. It was a total blast to talk face-to-face with these guys!

Wally Fry (Truth in Palmyra) and his family left Arkansas and drove into Chattanooga Saturday night. He and I met for coffee before church on Sunday morning, then later attended church together. To my surprise, James Neff (Men of One Accord) and his wife also showed up for church! James visited a couple of times before, but this was the first time he and Wally had met.

I was also honored that they would sacrifice their time to sit through my preaching. Believe me, it’s always humbling to have people you admire in the audience saying “Amen!”

After Church

When the morning service was over, we did what any typical church-goer might do down here in the South – we went to Cracker Barrel. There we shared plates of biscuits, downed plenty of coffee, and shared more stories than a serial Facebooker.

Wally Fry thought that we should get a picture together before all parted ways. Therefore, like proper husbands, we heeded  the suggestion of our wives and sat down in the rocking chairs out front. And you know, even that seemed too fortuitous to be coincidence (but that’s another story).

IMG_0378 IMG_0379 IMG_0386

Real People

What I hope all of you take away from this story is that behind that computer screen, writing those blogs, are real people. Each one is part of a larger community where genuine friendships can develop. And when you actually get to see these people in person, it’s totally awesome!

But here’s a thought that just came to mind. What do you think it will be like, after all those years of reading his letters…after all those years of communicating across vast distances…to see Jesus face-to-face? He’s real too, you know. Even more real than Wally, James, or myself.

You might oughta be making plans to meet Him for dinner.

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by | December 30, 2014 · 5:48 pm

The Brief Departure of a Friend

A pic of Ty and his oldest daughter (from her Facebook page)

A pic of Ty and his oldest daughter (from her Facebook page)

Today I received the sad news that a brother in Christ, Ty Sweeney, went home. He was only 38 and died of complications resulting from a heart attack. And, like with the loss of others I’ve known, news of his death was an oxygen-sucking blow to my gut.

I didn’t know Ty as well as some other friends of mine in Hopkinsville, KY. I saw him at church (it was a big church) and played music with him a few times. Once he even loaned me his cedar-topped guitar – that was a GREAT guitar. But what I did know about Ty was that he was a great musician, songwriter, and that he loved the Lord and his family.

I lost my dad when I was only 24. For a moment I felt like my whole life would come crashing down around me. However, with the grace of God and the peace that came with the assurance I would see him again, the loss was tempered with the knowledge that our separation was only temporary. My prayer is that his wife (Sarah) and two daughters (Conley and Claudia) will find comfort in the same Hope.

For the saints of God, death is only a brief departure; sweet reunions are still to come.

Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

Click HERE to listen to Ty Sweeney’s music.

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by | March 18, 2014 · 1:22 pm

I’ve Got a Mighty, Mighty Friend

Tough Times

A few minutes ago I was reading a post from a friend. He expressed several needs, yet praised the Lord for being in control (Romans 8:28). Aren’t you glad we serve a Mighty God?

All of us are living in tough and troubling times. For some of you, the road you’re on has far more bumps and potholes than the roads of others. Yet, all of us will agree, wherever we are, that the world is not getting any better. Times are tough, and are only going to get tougher.

But…

But, I have a Mighty Friend who is not affected by the whims of men or the winds of time. As a matter of fact, my Friend is the One who created man and started time.

Several years ago (2007) I wrote a song for my little girls to sing. Not long ago, while preparing for a banquet in our church gym, I listened to a recording of the song …and shouted…literally, I kicked up my heels, pumped my fists, waved my hands, and shouted “Praise GOD!”

Maybe you need some encouragement? Just read the lyrics I have included below, and if God is your friend, don’t worry (Matthew 6:30-34).

Mighty Friend

Well I may not be as tall as a building or strong as a big ol train
I may not be as smart as a scientist doing things I can’t explain
But I know the One who made the tallest mountain and can whip up a hurricane
And the very One who invented gravity says He even knows my name.
 
Well I may not know what’s comin’ in the mornin’, or what the day may bring
Good or bad, I’m not gonna worry, ‘cause Jesus knows everything.
So I’ll do the best with what God has given me as long as there is time
‘Cause the One that got the clocks a-tick’n told me it’ll all be fine.
 
When the devil acts like a bully, putting on a scary show
Before you run away and hide in a corner there’s something you need to know
The One who spoke the world into existence is standing by your side
And if you look close the devil’s knees are shakin’ cause he knows he’ll lose the fight
 
Chorus:
Cause I’ve got a Mighty, Mighty Friend who watches over me
And He’s the Mighty, Mighty Savior who died to set me free
Well I may not be the greatest at anything, but this one thing is so
The God that is the greatest at everything loves me, this I know.
 

© 2007, Anthony C. Baker (BMI)

Katie is going to hate me for doing this…

…but I am going to include the recording I was talking about. This was recorded back when she (Katie) was only 10 or 11 years-old. It’s not Nashville quality, but it’s precious. So, as so many people say before they sing in church, “Don’t listen to how we sing, just listen to the words.”

“Mighty Friend”

 

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by | March 9, 2012 · 10:25 am

Pooped Pastors

At first you may think it strange to combine the words “pooped” and “pastor,” but for many it is an every day reality. The fact is that there are more pooped pastors, ministers, elders, etc., than you can imagine. That is why I would like to introduce you to…PoopedPastors.com.

Loneliness Kills

Let me be as serious as I can be – being a loner is deadly. That is why it is so important for those in church leadership to have friends they can trust. However, what most people fail to understand is that pastors have a very hard time making close friends.

There are limits to what we can share, and with whom we can share it. The burdens we carry, many times, have to be held in the strictest confidence. Besides our Savior, there are some times we literally have no one else to talk to. This can lead to feeling isolated, alone, and depressed. Some have even committed suicide.

You may think, “Well, why don’t pastors just get some help?” It’s not as easy as you think, believe me. For instance, when a person needs encouragement, the pastor is there to offer Scripture, prayer, and hope. Who does the pastor go to when he is discouraged? The parishioner? Does the pastor want to discourage the very people for which he is burdened?

When the shepherd is lost, does he ask the sheep for guidance? Not usually. The sheep would run away! A pastor with a heart for souls will even find it hard to talk with a professional counselor for fear of turning that one person away from Christ. So, he stays silent. But there is hope…

PoopedPastors.com

Dr. Steve Brown and I at a fundraiser for Harvest USA

If you are a bona fide pastor or minister, there is a place for you to go and be yourself. You don’t have to worry about what others think when you express your frustrations, your worries, your fears, or your doubts. Pooped Pastors is a place where you can communicate with others who are walking down the same road. It is not meant to replace flesh-and-bone friends, but it can help. I have been a forum member for about 3 years, and I am eternally grateful for what it has meant to me.

Anonymous

What is so unique about Pooped Pastors? Well, Dr. Steve Brown (Key Life Ministries) started this site in order to encourage those who minister. There are many helps and links that are useful, but the hallmark of the site is the pastor’s forums. There, once you are confirmed to be who you say you are (they check), you are assigned a personal number (yes, you become just a number). Once you have your number, you can log into the forums and feel the refreshing breeze of freedom. You don’t have to worry about sharing what’s on your heart. You can be 100% honest, and no one will come asking for your resignation (but don’t go too crazy).

Pass the Word

If you are a minister, please go visit Pooped Pastors. If you are not a minister or pastor, tell your pastor about it. Let him know you are praying for him and that you want him to be encouraged. Write the web address down and give it to him, or, as you know, he’s likely to forget (I’m just say’n).

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by | November 28, 2011 · 11:32 pm

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Do you consider yourself to be a good friend? What makes a good friend? More than that, what makes a real, true friend? I believe there is a difference.

A Good Friend

Good friends are the ones you have over to watch a ball game, but don’t worry if the house is messy. He’s the type of friend that you don’t mind bringing along to dinner with the family. She’s the one with whom you don’t mind sharing your gripes and complaints, like when your spouse ticks you off, or your co-worker make you jealous.

A good friend is one that remembers to invite you to a birthday party, a movie, or loans you a pick-up truck to move a piano (God bless’em). They’re the type of friends you get along with, even though you may have different tastes or opinions. You care about each other and say things like, “If you need anything, just let me know.”

Job had Good Friends

Job (as in the Bible, not to be confused with Steve) had some good friends. Really, they were not that bad. Just look at how they acted when they saw Job after the tragedies came about.

“And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” – Job 2:12-13 NKJV

Obviously, his friends cared enough about him to break down into tears at the sight of his brokenness. They were good enough friends to even tear their clothes, sit down with him on the ground, and weep with him for seven days. They even cared enough to keep silent seven days so Job could pour his heart out in grief. They were good friends.

Superficial Friends

If the friends of Job had only been the partying type, do you think they would have come to see him after hearing of his loss? No, if they had only been superficial friends, they would have stayed far away from Job and his problems. They would have said, “Oh, that’s so sad…we should send him a Hallmark card…Honey, where are my keys?…I’m going to be late to the gym.”

Religious Friends

Anyone who goes to church has these. Religious friends are the ones who always have a smile and a warm handshake, but never really want to hear about your life. These type of people give a bad name to church folk. Have you ever met any? If you have, you know. They ask, “How are you doing today?” Then, just as you start to give a response they say, “Great, great…love your heart…well, I’ll be praying for you, honey, don’t you worry.” Riiight.

User Friends

This is not a scientific assessment of friendship types, but sometimes I think most friends are only users. When you stop and think about it, how many friends would you have if you had nothing to offer? At least Job’s friends weren’t users. They came around when Job had nothing to offer but tears. They came to offer him something – if only judgmental advice.

True Friends

This may only be my definition, but I think it is a good one:  A real, true friend is one who lets you cuss, spit, and even question God when times are tough. A real, true friend is one who will not only cry with you when you hurt, but stand there by your side as you kick the furniture, throw the dishes, slam the door, or even ask, “Why?!”

The truest test of real friendship is how he/she responds when you say things you may regret. This is where Job’s friends fell behind.

Job came to the point where he “cursed the day he was born,” and asked God, “What have I done to you? Why have you made me a target?” Job literally became suicidal and terribly depressed as he struggled with trying to understand the reason for his troubles. But instead of keeping quite, or simply saying, “It will be OK, Job,” his friends started accusing him of wrongdoing. They blamed him for the trouble he was enduring, even though they had no proof. All they could do was pour salt on his wounds.

When Job cussed and spit, these friends said things like, “How long will you speak these things, and the words of your mouth be like a bunch of wind (Job 8:2)?” They called his painful rants “empty talk” and “vain words” which proved he deserved God’s judgment.

A real friend will let you expose your pain in ugly ways, with ugly words. Job’s friends should have understood that his words were spoken in grief. They should have understood that sometimes we say things we don’t mean when we are hurting, but need to say them, anyway. A real friend would have taken it, listened, and given only kind words of encouragement.

“To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” – Job 6:14 NKJV

If you know someone who is going through a tough time, don’t be judgmental – just love them. Even if they say things that are wrong, even vulgar, let God be the Judge – you just love them.

Job had to answer to God for the things he said, but the only ones who incurred the wrath of God were Eliphaz and his cohorts (42:7). As I see it, God understood Job, but He found no excuse for the response of his self-righteous friends.

Don’t just be a good friend – be a real friend. You may wish you had one, someday.

Related articles
  • Friends (anotherchristianblog.org)

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