Category Archives: Relationships and Family

Topics related to how we deal with the people God has placed in our lives.

Picking on Cyrus – A Perfect Example of Legalism

Recently, I came across a good example of legalism in its purest form.  Let me share it with you.

When I talk about legalism, I usually talk about things within the realm of Christianity. There are, however, legalistic people in all walks of life, and even in other religions. Just Google “legalism” and you will find out. But from a Christian perspective, legalism is the judgmental attitude that determines another’s spirituality (level of maturity in the faith) by how he is complying with a man-made list, whether the compliance be actual, or perceived. Legalism judges the heart based on an individual’s performance, even when the performance has nothing to do with grace.

Also, since legalism doesn’t focus on the heart, little room is left for error. Legalistic people are rarely compassionate or merciful to others who see things even a little differently. And when it comes to those who are non-compliant on the inside of the camp, they are brutal and unforgiving.

Legalists and chickens are cousins – they pick their wounded to death.

I am not a big fan of Hollywood or the Nashville music scene. I have seen and experienced just enough to know that it is a world of cut-throats and back-stabbers only looking to make a buck. Rarely, in that world, is anything real. It’s mostly fabricated “PR” meant to manipulate the consumer. It is a racket that doesn’t care if it destroys what it uses, as long as somebody gets rich. That is where you can find the Cyrus family.

GQ tells all.

Well, not long ago an article was published in GQ magazine that detailed Billy Ray Cyrus’ loss of hope – Destiny Hope, that is (Destiny = Miley Cyrus = Disney’s Hanna Montana).  At the time of the article, Billy (Miley’s real-life dad) was going through a painful divorce and a fallout with his famous daughter. It seemed that Billy had had enough of being the fall-guy and his daughter’s friend. He was beginning to see that moving to L.A. might have been a big mistake, and that being a better father and husband should have been his top priority. The GQ piece (click for link) was full of apparent pain and regret – totally sad, albeit half-expected.

Since then, it seems that the Cyrus family is getting back together and everything is getting worked out. However, the reality is that we really don’t know what the reality is. When one reads the article in GQ, then looks at the quick turn-around of events, including a hand-in-hand stroll while shopping caught on film (Miley, her mother, and grandmother out shopping in the open – yeah, right), it’s hard to not think that people with a lot to lose are on defcon-level damage control.

Whatever…the point is this…

Daniel, an intelligent blogger who publishes ReflectionsandMeditations.com, wrote a sympathetic piece (“The D@*# show destroyed my family”) referring to the above article. It was not a mushy apology for Billy Ray Cyrus’ actions or poor parenting choices, but a call to try to understand and learn from what happened. In response, a self-proclaimed “liberal” woman assailed Daniel for showing any pity for Cyrus.

No offense to you, but I think it is a crock of poop that you feel some sort of sorry for him or that your heart goes out to him…I ultimately hold her father mainly responsible. He could have stopped it and not allowed this to happen. But he didn’t. He continued to allow his underage daughter, for the majority of the show she was underage, to act on the show and to her detriment not to her advantage!
Tsk tsk tsk. [emphasis added]

Now, ironically, after looking at her own blog, Miss “Tsk-Tsk” does not seem to be a mirror image of Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady.” On the other hand, she does exhibit a classic example of legalistic thought. Here you have a man who has messed up, but is now sorrowful and repentant, and all some want to say is “Tsk tsk tsk” for showing sympathy. All I can say is “sad sad sad.”

Pray, don’t kick.

Don’t kick a man when he’s down, people! Pray for him! Intercede for Billy Ray and his family. Who is to say how he or she would have handled the winds of temptation while in the midst of the hurricane? He’s aware who the enemy really is:

Just before moving out to Los Angeles, the whole family had been baptized together by their pastor at the People’s Church in Franklin, Tennessee. “It was Tish’s idea,” he remembers. “She said, ‘We’re going to be under attack, and we have to be strong in our faith and we’re all going to be baptized…'” And there, driving to work each day in the City of Angels, was this sign. “A physical sign. It could have easily said ‘You will now be attacked by Satan.’ ‘Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness…'”

Do you really see it in such clearly spiritual terms—that your family was under attack by Satan?

“I think we are right now. No doubt. There’s no doubt about it.” – from the GQ article

Billy Ray’s story reminds me of the following verses in which God was speaking of Israel. Their example should be a lesson to us:

“Because My people have forgotten Me, They have burned incense to worthless idols. And they have caused themselves to stumble in their ways, From the ancient paths, To walk in pathways and not on a highway, To make their land desolate and a perpetual hissing; Everyone who passes by it will be astonished And shake his head. – Jeremiah 18:15-16 NKJV

But Billy Ray’s story also reminds me of another verse – the words are from the Holy Spirit to all of us:

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. – Galatians 6:1 KJV

 

 

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Divorce, Do not judge, legalism, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized

Pictures, Puke, and Payback

The Preface

Recently, like this morning, I was giving some thought to using images from the web on my blog. Some pictures that I have used are in the public domain. Others are ones that I have taken with my own camera. However, most are others which I have pulled from Google Images and linked back to the original poster/photographer…most of the time.

Well, in an effort to better comply with the Fair Use Act, not to mention avoid copyright infringement, I am going to ween myself of such abuse, intentional or not, by DRAWING my images…..at least for this post.

The Start of the Story

There must be a virus going around. It either started with an episode of “NCIS” that showed two of the lead characters, Ziva David and Tony DiNozzo, sifting through the puke of drunks; or it started after everybody in the city ate at the same Chinese resturant. I really have no idea. All I know is that there is something causing people everywhere to start throwing up.

The Nasty Part

Just yesterday, my wife called me on her cell, her voice high-pitched and quivering, “Anthony (it’s never good when she calls me by name), Haley just threw up…in the car…and it is bad! What should I do?” I responded with a suggestion sure to go down in the annals of history as one of the most logical and reasonable statements known to man….”Clean it up!

Oh, Honey (now she calls me ‘Honey’), it’s all over…the seat…the dash….the carpet……..the window and door…and it smells reeaaalllyy bad!

Does anyone want an old Cadillac? How do you clean a mess like that? Fortunately, for some reason, like as if she was transporting a toddler with a potty-training problem, Valerie thought to bring a change of clothes (for Haley) and some cleaning wipes.  Unfortunately for the Cadillac, it now smells like puke AND diaper wipes. Honestly, you could probably get it cheap.

The Worst Part

I put my bus in gear (I had stopped to talk on the cell phone), drove to the elementary school, then picked up my 25+/- kids. Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as they got on one yelled, “Eeewww! Somebody puked!

One of the problems with children regurgitating on a school bus is that you have multiple other children with weak stomaches. Need I say more?

The Payback Part

So, now I have a Cadillac and a bus flowing with virus-laden, acid-laced chicken soup.  It happened again on the bus this morning. I blame it Obama. Why? Why not? It’s either that, or it’s payback for my wife having to clean the car and the daughter on the side of the road.

Yep, I’ll just blame Obama. My payback for his blaming President Bush for everything.

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Filed under General Observations, Homeschool, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized

A Store With Testosterone: Stockdale’s

I live with so many females in my life.  Everything oozes with estrogen, from the types of food we eat, to the stores at which we shop. I have stood and waited uncomfortably in more bra sections of stores than I can count. Thank the Lord I took the initiative to walk through the doors of a new store – Stockdale’s.

On a whim, without knowing anything about Stockdale’s, I said, “Let’s go in here…they say they’re America’s rural outfitters, and we live in rural America.” I can’t tell you how good it felt to have the first thing I see be a large kiosk of nothing but Case knives. This was definitely not J.C. Penney’s or Bed Bath & Beyond.

Because there was bad weather in the forecast, the store we went into was about to close early. I didn’t get to see everything, but I did make a quick trip around. There was everything from horse saddles to blue jeans. But when I saw a whole end cap full of cowboy cap guns, I told me wife, “We have got to come back to this place.”

I am posting this at a time when my wife is telling me I need to go to bed because I have to get up early; is correcting the way I put away towels; and is chastising me for my supposed poor positioning of Thanksgiving decorations in the closet. Can you see why I think a store with TESTOSTERONE is just what the doctor ordered?

I hope they have a store near you.  If they don’t, then just go watch a John Wayne movie.

http://www.chattanoogachamber.com/newsandvideo/stocdales_ribbon.asp

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Anthony’s Appetite #5 (the wedding)

I like food, but it is weighing heavy on me. Something has to give.

Young love, how sweet!

On New Year’s Eve I performed a wedding in St. Petersburg, Florida. Everything was so sweet and romantic, especially the gazebo and view of the Gulf Coast. What happened after the wedding is the subject of this post.

If you are ever in St. Petersburg, and you want to eat Italian, try the Palm Court Italian Grill located in the Trade Winds resort on St. Pete Beach (http://www.tradewindsresort.com/dining/palm-court.aspx). We walked there from the beach, but you will probably have to drive.

For an appetizer, I had their Traditional Crab Bisque. For those of you who don’t know, it’s like a thick, creamy soup. According to the menu, it was made with an Italian brandy cream. I don’t know what Italian brandy is like, so I’ll have to take their word for it. It was very creamy, though. Oh, and it had crab meat in it. Simple, huh? Yeah, and fattening.

My wife ordered her own appetizer. She selected Bruschetta (roasted garlic, plum tomatoes, extra virgin olive oil, smoked mozzarella, piquillo peppe & basil pesto). She really liked it, which frankly surprised me. Valerie is not one to eat tomatoes. I didn’t care for it too much, however. The dish had a lot of potential, but I believe there was an excessive amount of olive oil used.

After the appetizer I chose the Club Croissant. You normally can’t go wrong with a club sandwich, so I figured I was safe. This was no ordinary club sandwich, though. As the name implies, it was on a croissant. That added a whole flaky texture that made it a little difficult to hold the contents together when taking a bite. Don’t get me wrong – it was tasty. All of the ingredients (smoked turkey, smoked bacon, swiss cheese, etc.) came together nicely. It was a filling sandwich, especially when served with the cool pasta salad.

Delicious cake from Publix

Interestingly, the bride’s mother purchased the wedding cake from Publix. White cake with raspberry filling and a cream cheese icing – marvelous! One piece was enough to add an inch to my belt line.

Because of all this eating, and all of the eating before, the new year has begun with a change in diet. At my doctor’s recommendation, I have started the South Beach Diet. I am too important to my family to die early like my dad did. In the near future you will hear of how losing weight can be tasty, too…..I hope.

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Filed under Christian Living, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Food, Relationships and Family

Turning Away the Tide

The following words are going to be disturbing on several levels.

1.  I am going to be talking about doing laundry.

2.  I am going to be talking about how girls should dress, which will make some think I am a prude.

3. I am going to be talking about doing laundry (I said that, already, but I hate doing laundry).

I do have to do laundry at times. It is not the norm, mind you, because my wife is very particular about how things are to be done. She can go totally postal (sorta) if clothes are not washed and dried properly. Towels have to be folded just so-so. Colors are an important, for some reason. She even wants it done on a regular basis. For crying out loud! I don’t know if I can handle all of the stress.

My wife is pretty particular about our laundry, but we are both capable of handling the job. However, I may know more than I want her to think. If I volunteer too much info, then you know what will happen – she’ll make me do more laundry.  I would rather wash the car, sweep the garage, or go on vacation. So, don’t be surprized to learn that a few colored items end up in the wash with whites every now and then. I don’t want her to trust me too much.  But when it comes to detergent, we are in total agreement and get along just fine. We do NOT use Tide.

What is wrong with Tide? Nothing is wrong with the product.  As a matter of fact, Tide rests on the top of the laundry pile when it comes to quality – it does what it promises.  So what is the problem? Tide’s advertising.

It seems to me that someone at Proctor & Gamble needs to learn a little about parenting, marriage, and ethics.  A couple of recent commercials leave me wondering whether or not they understand the role of a mother or a father, or the difference between love and enabling. First there was the commercial showing a mother lying to her daughter about wearing and soiling a particular top. Then came the newest commercial depicting a caring dad as a prudish killjoy, while the mom becomes the hero when she washes the daughters miniskirt.  What is going on, here? Well, it’s called advertizing.

Tide’s slogan is now, “Style is an option. Clean is not.” Style is an option. As a recovering legalist, I try to be careful when it comes to choices people make about clothing. I don’t want to be too quick to judge, for there are many options available to those who have the money to spend; yet, taste should not take precedent over decency and modesty. As a company, P&G may think it is making a point about clean clothes, but the commercials are encouraging real ethical problems.

Let’s take, for instance, the mother lying over the daughter’s green top (http://youtube.com/watch?v=1cljX9iMwgQ). The commercial is cute, for sure. It even gives a shout out to grown ups for still being able to get down and have fun (you go, Mom!). But what about lying to your children? What about taking things without asking? OK, so it’s pretty harmless, right? It’s not like the mom is causing the girl to sin, or anything, you think? Maybe not, but there’s more.

Picture this: dad walks by clothes line, sees white miniskirt, takes it down with dirty hands, then throws it away. Next, girl finds miniskirt in trash, takes it to mom who promptly washes it in Tide, then looks begrudgingly at husband before smiling with approval at scantily dressed daughter who walks passed a shocked dad. Please tell me I am not the only one who sees something wrong with this.

Again, “style is an option,” but clean is not. The only problem is that the role of the parent is to protect and mentor the child, not just provide her clean clothes. Whether or not the dad should have thrown away his daughter’s skirt is debatable (I would have, especially if she was underage). What is not debatable is that the dad did not want his daughter wearing something that was meant to make guys want to see more.  The dad wanted to protect his little girl. Mom, on the other hand, showed no respect for her husband and gave the impression that crimping one’s style is more dangerous than causing boys to lust. That’s what is wrong with this kind of advertising.

For a while there have been rumors circulating about Proctor & Gamble (makers of Tide) giving money to the Church of Satan. According to Snopes.com, the stories are completely false, maybe scandalous (http://www.snopes.com/business/alliance/procter.asp). This is not why I chose not to purchase Tide. I simply do not want to encourage a form of advertising that clearly belittles parental perogatives and elevates unethical behavior.

Style is an option, but a clean heart is not.

For the record, if you are a parent and let your daughter wear miniskirts and the like, don’t complain when you end up dealing with pregnancy, STD’s, abuse, or abduction. Even more, don’t be astonished when you stand before the Lord and give an account. Your allowing your daughter to dress that way not only puts her in danger, but leaves you partly responsible for causing another mother’s son to sin, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” – Mat 5:28 ESV

One more reason why I don’t use Tide is this: it reminds me too much of Alabama…ugh!

 

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Filed under Christian Living, Defining Marriage, legalism, Relationships and Family, World View

You Know You’ve Done OK When…

How do you know whether or not you’ve been a good parent?  Well, if your kids turn out ok without eating each other before they’re 10, then it is a good sign you raised them right. They don’t always turn out the way you hope.  Some, despite everything you do to give them every opportunity to learn and succeed in life, decide on their own to spit on everything they’ve ever been taught.  I know that happens.  But generally speaking, what are some ways you can tell your instruction stuck in their brains? Here are some ideas.

First off, if they don’t act like heathen, then you are doing ok.  Well, I guess if you are a heathen, then you want them to act like you. My children are not heathen, nor do they look like them.  For that I am thankful.  They don’t sacrifice animals, just spend too much on vet bills.

Secondly, they choose non-heathens to marry.  My son-in-law is not a heathen.  My future son-in-laws will not be heathen – so help me God. I have tasted prison food….it’s not that bad.

Thirdly, you know you have done alright bringing up your children if you owe them money.  I am in debt to all of my girls.  Isn’t that great? They can pay for college with the interest they make off of me.

Fourthly, they let you play with their new electronic toys without saying, “Ok, now let me!”  And that is what I am doing right now.  I am playing on Alicia’s brand new MacBook Air in her large living room with hardwood floors, while watching a 50 inch digital TV.  My parent’s only had three channels, and the hardwood gave you splinters. Our computer has to have it’s own airconditioner.

Fifthly, and finally, they make dinner for you in their own kitchen, with their own dishes, electricity, and food.  It’s so wonderful to have children who can feed not only themselves, but also their broke, technologically handicapped, and malnourished parents.

Oh, I have done ok.  My wife is pleased, too.  Our youngest may still wind up becoming a Democrat, who knows. All we can do is keep loving, providing, and praying.  Let’s just hope the kids keep this in mind when we need help changing our own diapers.

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Filed under Relationships and Family, self-worth

The Home Depot: Supporter of Non-Traditional Homes


“A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs. The predominant usage in modern American English refers to persons hostile to those of differing race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, various mental disorders, or religion.”  – Wikipedia

The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth, because I testify of it, that the works thereof are evil.” – Jesus, John 7:7

This may be controversial.  You may disagree with me; but I have read the articles.  I have tried to examine both sides of the story. Now, let me throw in my two cents (and maybe a third).

Do you ever have to purchase supplies for your home or business such as , let’s say, lumber, lighting, plumbing, or painting products?  If so, then you have probably made the choice to go to The Home Depot, at least once.  You have to admit, they draw you in with the big, orange sign, don’t they?  Well, you may also be aware that there are several other places you could go to purchase the same products.  Home Depot is not the only shop in town.  I would advise you to consider other options.  Let me tell you why.

Wait, before I go any further, let me say that privately owned businesses have every right to decide how they want to spend their money, write their employee dress code rules, and to what degree they want to support a charity or cause.  Therefore, it is perfectly fair that The Home Depot is taking advantage of every right available to them.  With that in mind, because they are exercising their freedoms, I believe that it should be acceptable to exercise our free right to choose where to shop…especially if there is an option to shop at another business which does not promote gay marriage and the redefinition of traditional marriage.

Whoa now, partner! Get off that sawhorse!

Am I saying that everyone should stop patronizing The Home Depot because they treat homosexuals with equality?  No, of course not.  What I am saying is that everyone who believes that marriage, as defined by the Bible and current social norms, not to mention natural observation (yeah, I’ll stand by that), should exercise their privilege to shop at places that don’t, as a matter of company policy, stand at odds with said beliefs, norms, and observations.  The Home Depot is NOT a neutral player in the current culture war. So, if you believe that there comes a time when one must take a side, The Home Depot has provided the rainbow-colored fence.

Oh, you may say that if I am going to take the stance of not shopping at The Home Depot, then I might as well stop shopping anywhere for anything, right?  What company does not involve itself with homosexuals?  Few, I would imagine.  Sadly, there is evidence that multiple companies with which I have to do business support LGBT events and market advertising towards gays and lesbians.  Coke was one of two “Rainbow” sponsors (the other was Bud Light) at the 2010 Gay Pride parade in Atlanta.  Suntrust bank was a minor sponsor, also (at least they provided t-shirts to one group in the parade).  Then there was Ford who, in 2005, produced an add for gays, then pulled it, then reinstated it a week later.  If I were to disassociate myself from every company that had anything to do with homosexuals I would have to dig a hole and live in it.  I understand that.  In this case, however, with The Home Depot, I am choosing to draw a line.  Why, because more than just trying to make a buck, as typical companies, The Home Depot has more in mind.

Recovering Legalist Teaching Moment Alert!

I understand that not everyone will choose to do what I do.  Each person must feel convicted in his own heart about such decisions.  Some may have family members that work at The Home Depot and have families to support.  It would be foolish to ask them to walk off their job, especially if they felt God put them there.  Sometimes people have to purchase items from places which aren’t the perfect choice.  Sometimes you have to do what you have to do – that is what grace is all about.

The legalist would say that if you now know that all these places give money to gay organizations, you should never give them your patronage.  If you do, they would argue, you would be committing sin and risk banishment.  Grace doesn’t work that way.  At times, the only good decision is the one that is better than the other – neither may be perfect.  Sometimes you may have to get your water from a bar.  One day you may find yourself having to “eat the showbread” from the temple (1 Samuel 21:4-6).  All God asks is a heart and mind that seeks after Him first.  To Him only do His slaves answer.

Now, back to the main article.

For a while now, The Home Depot has been very involved in supporting the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) lifestyle.  Recently, The Home Depot has financially and materially supported numerous Gay Pride parades and activities* (see links below); the most controversial being the youth activity tents. Hey, “go for it,” I say!  Support whoever you want, Home Depot!  But guess what, I support the defense of traditional marriage and the definition of marriage as between one man and one woman.  If you, El Depot, are going to choose to actively support and encourage a lifestyle that actively seeks to destroy the culture and belief system I defend, I am going to choose to go elsewhere.  Choice works both ways (I just don’t GO both ways).  I don’t want your version of plumbing.

If The Home Depot wants to provide new closets to replace the ones the gays “came out” of, then hey, that’s the way the rainbow arches. However, I can decide where I want to spend the gold at the end of my rainbow.  If you want to allow some employees to decorate their aprons with slogans and emblems which offend the God of heaven, while denying others the right to wear a pin which says “One Nation Under God,“* then I don’t want to give my dollars, with the prohibited slogan printed on them, to help you.  Thanks, but no thanks.

God has made me a steward of His gifts.  He has given me the ability to work and earn an income.  He has called me to be a witness and an example of His mercy and grace.  But because He has made me a steward, it is my responsibility to use His money (it all belongs to Him) in such a way that reflects His holiness.  Because of this, I don’t think He would be pleased with me using His money to support, almost directly, the destruction of the family, as HE defines it, by supporting gay and lesbian causes championed by Home Depot.

You know, we do live in a fallen, sinful world.

It would be impossible to totally remove ourselves, as Christians, from every aspect of life that rubs shoulders with things we object.  We have to choose our battles, though.  We may have to eat at places that sell alcohol to drunks.  We have to get help at hospitals that have to perform abortions.  We put fuel in our cars that probably came from Christian-killing, Muslim sheiks in Saudi Arabia.  We buy clothes from the same manufacturers who’s designers are probably ALL gay.  So, we can’t totally get away with boycotting everything – but we can make smarter choices.  We could choose to pay more and buy local, for one thing.  All I am saying is pick one battle, at least.  Then, pray the prayer of Peter Marshall:

Give to us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for — because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.

Check out the links below to find out more on this subject.  Feel free to check out both sides of the story, too.  But do this: If you are a Christian, or if you care about TRUE fairness and equality in the workplace, then let your voice be heard on this subject, and others like it.  Don’t sit back and think that it is going to go away or get better.  There is a battle going on out there for the hearts and minds of future generations.  The LGBT crowd is doing all they can to become mainstream and accepted by all, regardless of religious or personal convictions.  While there is still hope, take a stand, bear your cross.   If you need the wood to build one, well, why not go to Lowe’s?  Heck, “Ace is the place with the helpful hardware person,” and that should be enough.

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another…” – the Apostle Paul, Letter to the Romans, Chapter 1


*Links for your further consideration:

The American Family Association’s take on the matter.   http://action.afa.net/item.aspx?id=2147496231

Change.org’s (Gay Rights) opinion.  http://gayrights.change.org/blog/view/home_depots_pac_gives_liberally_to_anti-gay_politicos_dont_tell_the_afa

The Home Depot’s own words (see Affinity Groups).  https://careers.homedepot.com/cg/content.do?p=diversity

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“May They be One, as We are One…”

I want thank all the people in Lookout Valley who attended our annual community-wide Thanksgiving service held at Lookout Valley Baptist Church.  At least seven (7) different congregations from 4-5 different denominations were represented.  It was a great evening of fellowship and friendship.

Each year our community has a Thanksgiving service in which all the Christian churches are encouraged to attend and participate in some way.  I guess, others in the community would be welcome, but the overall emphasis of an evening like this was to give thanks unto God, and our Savior, Jesus Christ, for all of His blessings.  As believers in Christ, we have more reasons to be thankful than anyone else.  Besides being blessed beyond measure by being allowed to live in a country such as ours, we have been forgiven of our sins, made heirs of the Kingdom, and have become part of a universal family of God.  A Thanksgiving service like this is more like a family reunion around the dinner table of the Father.

Pastors Bill Akers and Anthony Baker (United Methodist and Southern Baptist)

This year’s speaker was Pastor Bill Akers, from Wauhatchie United Methodist Church.  During his sermon he shared his testimony, gave thanks to God for sparing his life, and even gave out some peanut M&Ms.  To be honest, I have never seen a Methodist preacher with so much energy.  I don’t even move around as much as he does.

Last week I tried to encourage my congregation to attend the service last night.  I wanted them to do the best that they could to show a spirit of familial love, which shouldn’t be too hard, considering we were all part of the same spiritual family.  Jesus Christ Himself prayed that we would do no less when He prayed to His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane.

John 17:20-23  I pray not only for these, but also for those who believe in Me through their message.  May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I in You.  May they also be one in Us, so the world may believe You sent Me.  I have given them the glory You have given Me.  May they be one as We are one.  I am in them and You are in Me.  May they be made completely one, so the world may know You have sent Me and have loved them as You have loved Me. – HCSB

In the seventeenth chapter of John, Jesus prays for several things, but one thing that He repeats is the desire that we all be unified in the Father and the Son.  Through this unity, as Jesus prayed, the world may see the love of the Father towards Jesus, and believe on Him (vs. 21 & 23).  Sadly, it would seem that so many believers in Jesus want to keep this prayer from being answered.  How sad is this, and how ludicrous?

It is possible for a prayer of Jesus to be denied?

If Jesus prays, then you know His prayers get answered.  As a matter of observation, the only one of the requests made in chapter 17 that has not been fulfilled is the request that we be made one.  Does this mean that Jesus’ prayer will never be answered?  I don’t think so, but we should really think about this seriously.  What is it going to take for this prayer to be answered?  Will it happen after we all reach heaven?  Then what would be the point of doing it so the unbelieving world could see?

I think that it is a crying shame when certain groups cannot look past minor differences in secondary doctrines, even for just one night.  There were at least two other congregations in our community that did not participate in our community service.  Both were Baptist.  Both were independent.  Now I can understand the Church of Christ not coming.  Many of them believe that the rest of us are going to hell, anyway, so why meet with us.  The same thinking persists with the Adventists, also, because we’re anti-sabbatarians.   But for the Baptists, you would think that just because your brother or sister in Christ uses a different Bible translation, or wears pants instead of a dress to church, one night wouldn’t be so hard; but not so.  The doctrine of Separation is much, much more important than honoring the prayer of our Savior.

One day, I fear, there may come a day in this country to rival those in other countries around the world.  Here, we are so spoiled and pampered that we can afford to be separate.  We have the option to spend all of our money on different denominational specifics.  We have all the space in the world to plant a new congregation every time we disagree with each other.  We have all the freedom of speech and the freedom of time to harp more on our differences than work together to fulfill the Great Commission.  If we ever wind up having to worship underground, we won’t have it so easy.  Denominational monikers will become a thing of the past.

Are there differences between some of our denominations that are serious?  Of course.  I am not denying that we have doctrinal issues worth debating with passion.  I am fully aware that there are some out there that call themselves believers in Christ, but are actually sheep in wolves’ clothing.  However, aside from that, we are still a family that needs to stick together whenever we can.  We have the same Father.  We were washed in the same blood of the Lamb.

After all, we are going to be spending eternity together.

What is it going to take for us to make an effort to put some of our petty things aside so that a lost and dying world would see Jesus?  I am just so glad that there are a few churches in Lookout Valley that love Jesus more than arguing 100% of the time over unknown tongues, eternal security, election, translations, or conventions.  We can do that 90% of the time.  The least we can do is give God His 10% in a tithe of brotherly love and unity.

 

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An Army of One…God, that is.

Back to the basics…or at least one of the reasons for this blog.

My formative years were full of instruction in the ways of legalism an legalistic thought.  Because of this, my view of the Body of Christ was limited.  To me, if you weren’t Baptist (Independent, that is) you were probably not going to heaven.  At the least, and I do mean very least, if you were not Independent Baptist, or if you used any translation of Scripture other than the King James Version, you were a liberal awaiting the chastising hand of God.  I did not work well with other denominations.

Since that time, I have learned that the Christian church is not limited to Independent Baptists,

…but is comprised of many other denominations, also.  Some of these denominations I have yet to even learn of, for there are so many smaller ones in other places of the country and the world.  It is true that denominationalism (the tendency to seperate into various factions) has hurt the Church.  The unbelieving world has used our schisms as evidence that the True Faith is not even real.  Some even say that the many different, competing, and even warring denominations are proof that Christianity is nothing more than man-made.  That being said, however, just because people within the Body of Christ choose to operate differently in their own context, one should not automatically assume that Christian group “A” is that much different than group “B,” at least not until the particular core elements of the faith are examined.  For that matter, just because a congregation claims to be Baptist, does not mean that they hold an orthodox view of Christianity…just look at that group from out west that protests funerals (I will NOT associate with them!).

Well, in an effort to battle against the legalism and denominationalism of my past, I continue to reach across the divides to other brothers and sisters in Christ with an offer of fellowship and understanding.  Does this mean that I have become Ecumenical? No, it does not.  What it does mean is that I want to reunite family.  I want to consolidate forces.  I want to bring healing and strength back to the Army of God which needs to unite in spiritual battle (and I did say, “spiritual”).  This applies even to churches within the same denomination who may fear competition (competition is not a good thing in this case).

In our community of Lookout Valley, there are several churches of various denominations.  Most are very supportive of each other, but a few still maintain strict adherence to the Doctrine of Separation (see my post on this doctrine).  The ones that feel freedom in Christ to participate have come together each year to hold a community Thanksgiving service.  Today I met with a small room full of other pastors in order to plan for this service.  Present were Baptists, Church of God, Assembly of God, United Methodist, and Presbyterian.  Not an unkind word was spoken.  Each shared in prayer for our community and for each other.  Coffee was even provided by Troy Walliser, the pastor of Lookout Valley Baptist, who has a taste for the “foo-foo” stuff (I just had to get that in).  We had a good time and look forward to worshipping together on the 23rd of this month, along with our congregations.

Why do I bring this up?  I say all of this because Christians have a common Enemy.  That enemy, Satan, is always in the process of uniting his forces in league against God’s church.  The battle lines are drawn on many different fronts and his forces are continually amassed and reinforced, waiting for orders.  The school prayer thing is just another example of a unified front.  It is at this time when the true believers in Christ Jesus, those who have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, put on the whole armor of God and come together to make a stand.  The example of Nehemiah 4 is alway relevant.  Our forces will never be more than Satan’s.  We will always have to come to the aid of our fellow soldiers in their time of need.  But just as that is true, so is it also true that where we gather to stand against an enemy attack, “the Lord our God will fight for us.”

I thank God for the pastors of Lookout Valley who know that though we may have our differences, we are still on the same side.

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Does Divorce Disqualify?

I will never forget the phone call I got from a church in Rome, GA about 14 years ago. Someone on the other end of the line was part of a search committee looking for a new pastor.  They had gotten my resume and were impressed enough to give me a call.  Everything was going well until they asked a very pointed question, “Bro. Anthony, does your wife have a spouse that is still living?”  I responded with a cold, clinched-teeth, squinted-eye “Yes,…..ME.”  Unfortunately, this would not be the last time something like that happened.

What I encountered on the telephone that day was not unusual, nor unexpected; but it hurt.  You see, I had chosen to marry a woman who had been divorced, even against the wishes of our (then) pastor, who said marrying Valerie would “put the final nail in the coffin” for my ministry.  However, even knowing that many disagreed, we married, anyway.  I was aware of the Scripture (1 Tim. 3:2) being used, but I was also in the process of becoming free from the legalism that had bound me for so long…legalism that oozed with a self-righteousness that wanted to limit me based on another’s determination of my spirituality, not Biblical truth (and it didn’t hurt that the late Dr. Spiros Zodhiates gave his approval).

Let me be clear about a few things…

First,  I have never been divorced, so for me the whole argument of 1 Timothy 3:2 should be moot.  Second, my wife was abandoned and left with no choice but to divorce (she was the innocent party), and it happened before she was a believer.  Thirdly, her ex-husband remarried and divorced again before I even met her.  By all accounts, both she and I were clear from any “adultery” issues.  Also, I am the husband of one wife, and Scripture NEVER said “must be the husband of one wife who was the wife of one husband ever.”

What DOES Scripture say?

1 Timothy 3:2  “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife...”  Also, verse 12 says, “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife...”  The difficulty with these verses is not what is being said, but how it is interpreted.  Is Paul telling Timothy that in order to be a pastor or deacon or elder in a church, you must have only been married once?  Could it be possible that Paul is even saying that a man of God MUST have a wife, because being single would disqualify one from ministry?  These are things that have been debated for centuries.  Some believe that a pastor or deacon or elder should have never been divorced (or married to a divorcée) . Others believe that in order to be a proper leader, one must be married.  Still, many commentators believe that the proper rendering of the Greek is “one-woman man,” implying faithfulness and character over the number of wives.  What the Scripture says is one thing, but as William D. Mounce put it, “The Greek gives us a range of possibilities, but our theology is going to determine our interpretation.” (http://www.koinoniablog.net/2009/03/can-an-elder-be-divorced.html#comment-captcha)

I think there’s another way to look at it…

Take a look at 1 Timothy 3.  Read through verse 12.  The best I can figure is that there are between 16 and 17 qualifications for the bishop, and between 6 and 8 for the deacons.  All of these are preceded with a literal or an implied “must be,” as in “must be blameless,” or a “must have.”  How does this affect the argument that an elder must have only been married once, never remarried, or never divorced?  Well, think of any great pastor that you know of.  Think of any great man of God that has stood behind the pulpit and faithfully proclaimed the Word of God.  Has he always been blameless?  Has he always been on his best behavior?  Did he ever get drunk, covet, lose his patience, or curse his wife or children in anger?  Was he ever a novice, a beginner subject to pride? If so, then according to the logic of some, he should never be able to preach or lead in God’s church, for just as a man “must be the husband of one wife,” so he also must be “blameless, vigilent, sober, well-behaved, given to hospitality, patient, never greedy, and always in control of his house and children.”  Do you see it?  If your interpretation leads you to believe that the bishop must have only had one wife ever, then the same hermeneutic (the study of the principles of interpretation) should apply to the other “must be’s.”  “Must be the husband of one wife” = never divorced.  “Not a novice” = never been a beginner in the faith. Doesn’t make sense, does it?

1 Timothy 3:1-12 is in the present infinitive tense (i.e., must be / dei einai).  The requirements listed are ones that describe a man of character and faithfulness, of sobriety and gravitas; not a beginner or one untried and unproven.  What I see is a list of requirements that may not have always been present in a man, but should be NOW, after God has done a verifiable work in his life.  In other words, the Bible says a bishop “must be,” not “must have always been,” or “must have never done.”  Paul said, “and such were some of you:  but ye were washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” – 1 Corinthians 6:11

Here’s my point…

I believe that there are plenty of men and women (especially men) that are sitting back or hiding out because someone has convinced them that they are used up and un-usable.  For instance, I can think of men right now, who because of whatever reason, are divorced.  Yet these men, now Christians, are sold-out, God-fearing, faithful, Spirit-filled fathers and husbands with proven testimonies and unimpeachable character.  Sadly, however, because of mistakes made when they were young, unsaved, and stupid, they cannot serve as deacons, much less as pastors.  On the other hand, I can think of several pastors today who were once murderers, drug dealers, fornicators, extortioners, and abusers of mankind (gay, for those of you in Rio Linda).  They are accepted and given full reign as leaders in the church, but not the ones who were divorced.  So, like I said in a previous post…

if the Pharisee and the Publican sat down with a pulpit committee in the average Baptist church, which one do you think they would hire?

Answer:

Depends on which one “had a living spouse.”

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