Tag Archives: fashion

Scars To Your Subjectivity

I Heard a Song

Even though it’s been out for a while – like over a year – it was just a few months ago that I heard “Scars To Your Beautiful” for the first time while doing some channel surfing on the radio (actually, it was on my Amazon Prime music app, but let’s not get picky).

If you have never heard the song, or seen the official video featuring the artist, Alessia Cara, then take a moment and absorb the message… Then let’s talk.

OK, did you listen? Did you pay close attention to the lyrics, including the testimonies of the people featured in the video? What did you think?

Who Made Her the Beauty Judge?

First, I think it is terrible to bully people because of their looks. Despite what they say about sticks and stones, words hurt deeply. Therefore, I can sympathize with the message of the song, for I was made fun of when I was young. People, especially kids, can be cruel.

But, as I listened to the song in the car, something came to mind that made me pause the music (you can do that with Amazon Prime) and say to my daughter who was riding with me, “You do realize, don’t you, that this song makes absolutely no sense without God?”

“What do you mean,” Haley responded? Well, that’s not what she really said. Actually, she just turned in my direction, tilted her head down, lifted up her eyes and eyebrows, and mumbled out a “Hmmm?”

I then asked, “Who is this girl (the singer) to say someone is beautiful just the way she is? Who defines what is beautiful?”

Seriously, haven’t we always been told, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? Of course we have! So, if that is so, what is wrong with saying someone is ugly? What if I don’t behold beauty, but scary?

Alessia Cara sings the following in the chorus:

But there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

Honestly, I’m not trying to be funny, but what gives her the right to say those things? Why should anyone know she’s beautiful just the way she is? Why shouldn’t she or he have to change? For crying out loud, why should the whole world be expected to change its beauty standards to fit the self-proclaimed, totally subjective beauty definitions of an outwardly-odd human?

If we are nothing but space junk, the product of chance, and nothing any more special than naked apes, why should any of us think we are intrinsically beautiful? And what kind of hope is in the dark?

Intrinsic Beauty

Believe it or not, I talked about all this with my daughter while the song was paused. Then I said, “It’s because we are made in the image of God…because we were created by Him…because Jesus was willing to go to the cross for us so that we could be saved…because God loves us…

Each and every one of us is a unique masterpiece, intricately woven together, shaped by the Hand of the Master Artist of the universe. So, despite the critical eye of the beholder; despite the subjective, labeling trends that give definition to fleeting beauty; the One who made you, who loves you, and sees deep into your soul says, “You were worth the nails.”

That’s why you’re beautiful.

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Filed under General Observations, Love of God, self-worth

Size Shaming? Or Just a Lie?

Ticked Teen

Colossians 3:21 (KJV) says, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Therefore, unless absolutely necessary, I try not to make my youngest daughter, Haley, mad at me.

Not only do I not want to see her discouraged, but she has a grudge-holding characteristic comparable to an elephant with an attitude – she never forgets, so neither will the offender. Maybe it’s just a female thing.

Anyway, Haley would be upset with me if I didn’t follow through with a promise: a promise to write about the craziness of the same size of clothing being labeled as different sizes. Here’s the post, Haley…I’m writing it.

4 Pants, 4 Sizes

Haley came into the office area where I was sitting at my computer. Draped over her arm were four garments; each one was a pair of pants, all the same length, and all having the same circumference around the waist. Man (or woman), was she ticked.

“Would you look at this!” she huffed. “Why do they do this?” she asked. At that point she held up the four pair of pants, waist to waste, and then asked, “Do these look any different?” Well, honestly, to my male-chromosomed ocular orbs they looked exactly the same, which worried me. Should I answer, or not?

“Well,” I began cautiously, “they all do look to be the same size, I suppose.”

“Exactly,” Haley replied, “but now look at this!” She then proceeded to show me the various tags attached to the inside of each garment, and I’ll be dang if every one was different!

Haley was frustrated, and I can understand why. Let’s just say somebody asked what size of pants a guy wears. If he answered “36,” you could go to just about any clothing store and find a pair of jeans, size 36, and the waist circumference would be comparable to any other brand or make of pants for men in the same size. For guys a 36 is a 36, end of story.

Not so for women’s clothing. Why is that?

Perception is Reality…Change the sizes! 

As best as I can surmise, women don’t like to be called “fat.” Therefore, the larger the number attached to the size of a garment, the lower the self-esteem, especially when asked what size she wears.

When I asked my wife about this, she informed me that women’s sizes today are a lot larger, but the numbers have stayed the same. In other words, if we were to compare a size 8 from today to a size 8 from 20 years ago, we would find today’s size 8 a lot bigger than the 8’s of the past.

To put it another way, if it makes you feel fat to wear a size 24, then fitting into a size 12 will make you feel like you’ve lost 150 lbs. It’s all about perception.

One big problem with this kind of thinking, however, is that no matter how often you redefine something, the objective standard of the bathroom scale never changes. 

And neither does God’s Word. 

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Filed under clothing, General Observations, Relationships and Family, World View