Coffee…Better Than Beer

National Coffee Day!

Did you hear? Did you know? Today is Nation Coffee Day!! It might be Tea Day in other places, (I don’t know) but it’s the day of the roasted, ground, and steeped coffee bean here, and praise God for it!

When did National Coffee Day begin? I have no idea, nor do I care. All I know is that I woke up this morning to the news of today’s significance and rejoiced, offered to exchange gifts of sweetener and cream, and wore a #2 filter on top of my head.

espressoSo, celebrate along with me! Go enjoy a hot cup of coffee somewhere, especially at one of the wonderful establishments where free cups of coffee are being served – yes, places are doing that!

Responding to the Legalists

“Oh, but Anthony! You shouldn’t drink coffee, my liberal, over-gracious, backslidden friend (my friend in private, at least; not in public…Doctrine of Separation, you know). Coffee is no different than any other drug; it’s just as bad as drinking beer. You may even lose your testimony if you continue to promote the drinking of such an addictive, dark, seductive liquid!”

Well, in response to those who are so legalistic that you won’t even give us a break when trying to enjoy a cup of … let me take a sip … store-brand instant meant to taste like instant Folgers, let me just suggest a few reasons why coffee is at least a better drink to consume than beer.

  1. Coffee costs less than beer, which means I’m being a better steward with my money.
  2. Coffee never gives you a “coffee gut.”
  3. Drink too much beer before driving a car and you’ll get somebody killed, or at least you may end up in prison. Drink a few coffees before driving and everyone benefits: you get where you’re going quicker, happier, more aware of your surroundings, no one dies (unless hit by a drunk driver), and no one goes to prison – unless you’ve had TOO much coffee, and then road rage might be an issue, depending on the caffeine level of the brew.
  4. Drinking beer can lead to spousal abuse. Drinking a seriously good cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain might make you slap your mamma.
  5. Coffee will wake you up and help you conquer the day; beer will turn you into a stereotypically worthless brother-in-law who won’t get off your couch and get a job.
  6. Smart people who sit in a cafe drinking coffee tend to have calm, stimulating conversations which further increase what intellect they already have. On the other hand, smart people who sit around drinking beer kill brain cells and laugh about it, especially when somebody falls off a stool, beats up somebody for rooting for the wrong football team, or thinks the Irish Setter is an Irish redhead.

Coffee always helps.

So, thank God for grace and coffee grinders, then celebrate this wonderful man-made holiday!

Keep your brain cells! Have some coffee! 


Filed under Alcohol, America, current events, Food, legalism

3 responses to “Coffee…Better Than Beer

  1. Chris Jordan

    *Thank God For Coffee! I like it… 🙂

  2. 🙂 MMMMM I could go for a Egg Nog Latte right now. I know that’s not real coffee to most connoisseurs of the java art but it does mean that the Christmas season is near and Starbucks does start selling it around Thanksgiving. Anyway a cup of joe would taste good on a cold brisk morning with the leaves falling and the colors of Gods creation all around. I love fall. 🙂

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