Forbidden Food

Breaking the Law

Just because I am a recovering legalist, that does not mean that I advocate breaking the law. The law is there for a reason…which is a whole other theological issue.

But when it comes to laws around the house, especially ones which my wife makes without letting me have a say, anything is up for grabs. The law that says I can’t steal a box of Nilla wafers because she was planning to use them in a banana pudding is absolutely crazy. Who does she think she is?

So, what you will see in this post are actual photographs of a crime in progress. In order to show you one of my favorite foods, I had to break the law.

Nilla Wafers & Peanut Butter

Yesterday, I talked about comfort food. Well, this is another comfort food…at least for me. And it is more than a comfort – it is a thrill.

I like peanut butter. I also like Nilla (pronounced like “vanilla,” but without the “va”) wafers. But when you put them both together you get something akin to a drug. But this drug is not available on the street; it has to be dug out of hiding places around my house.

You see, my wife makes some awesome banana pudding (that’s another post), so she need these wafers. And because she knows that I really like putting peanut butter on them, she thinks she can hide them until she needs them.

Not always, dear.

How They’re Made

What you do is take a box of wafers, open it up, and pour out a random amount into a plate (and let’s get this straight, if they are not Nabisco brand Nilla wafers, they are nasty). Next, you count them. But, there has to be an even number, because you need two to sandwich the peanut butter. It’s not an obsessive-compulsive thing.

Once you have determined that you have an even number, you take a clean knife (obviously) and spread any kind of peanut butter (unless it’s that generic toxic waste stuff) on one wafer. Make sure there is enough, too. Because what you want is enough to squeeze out around the sides when you press the two together. That’s the part you lick off (but I won’t show you that part).

There is also another reason for having an even number. Having an odd number will only make you want to go back for more. When I do, that is when my wife catches me.


As I was writing this post, my wife walked in the front door. Then, as she came by me sitting at the computer, I handed the box of crispy wafers to her – smiling. She smiled back with an understanding look…like she perfectly understands how she is going to remind me of the “law.”

Thankfully, she’s forgiving. Unfortunately, no banana pudding tonight.


Filed under Food, Humor

8 responses to “Forbidden Food

  1. Nillas and peanut butter are in my top 5 favorite foods of all time, serious comfort food. And you make them just right. All you need is a glass of cold milk!

  2. Sorry Anthony, but I cannot agree with you about peanut butter. I don’t think I have ever tried Nilla wafers. Something to look out for if I ever make it back across the pond again. Perhaps the stall in the Saturday market in Hereford might stock them.

    • The reason you can’t agree about peanut butter might be related to your taste for Vegemite.

      • Could be, but Marilyn likes both. I keep my distance when she has been munching peanuts or eating peanut butter. I am not sure I’d spread Vegemite between a couple of biscuits. But a Vegemite sandwich dipped in beaten egg and fried is a favourite lunchtime snack in this house.

  3. Thanks for explaining how to put the peanut butter on the wafers. Mystery solved. 🙂 another great post!

    • If you want to see other food posts I’ve made, you can find them under “Anthony’s Appetite.” I like to pretend I’m a food critic, among other things. It gives me an excuse to eat out.

  4. heather joy

    These. Look. Delicious. I must try them soon.

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