She Might Be Flirting If…

Stay With Me

Yesterday, taking a sharp turn from the direction I usually go, I wrote a post dealing with how men flirt. Today I am going to write about how women flirt, or at least my thoughts on the subject. But before you run off thinking The Recovering Legalist is becoming Vanity Fair or The Huffington Post, let me reassure you: there is a point to my madness.

Yesterday was about men. Today will be about women (or at least my understanding and perceptions of the creatures). Tomorrow will be about… Well, you’ll just have to come back tomorrow to find out. Just stay with me on this, OK?

More Nonsense

I scoured the web this morning looking for sources and I found several. However, unlike yesterday, I will give you the links at the bottom of the page, just so you’ll know I am not making this stuff up. Essentially there are a lot of websites and magazines with published articles dealing with “how to know if a woman is flirting.” But once again, several of the clues are deceptive.

Are you a nice person? Do you smile at people? Do you look people in the eye when you speak? Then you’d better watch out, somebody may think you are flirting!

The following are said to be clues that a woman is flirting, guys. So watch out, especially if she is one of those Proverbs 7 women (that’s not good).

She’s staring at you. Never mind that you might have a piece of chicken in your tooth, or you may look like a suspected criminal, if a woman is staring at you, you might be daddy material.
She smiles at you. According to the experts, yelling, screaming, hateful, and even non-emotional women are safe. It’s the ones that are smiling at you that should make you concerned (or excited). That means every girl that works at Chick-fil-A wants to take you on a date.
She plays with her hair. Supposedly, if a woman fiddles with her hair – twirls it in her finger while talking or listening to you – she is flirting. Sinead O’Conner, therefore, will be hard to read, I suppose.
She touches you. Normally, I would give credence to this one. However, some people are just “touchy” people. Some women have a motherly instinct that demands they straighten every tie and remove every piece of lint. So, don’t get creeped out when Granny brushes your shoulder.
She draws attention to her body. Seriously? What woman does not try to draw attention to her body, or at least parts of it? What is makeup for? How long has it been since women have striven to be modest? Good grief, with the way women dress today, the only women not flirting are wearing long blue jean skirts (but they usually have long hair, so watch out for the twirling)!

My Experience

What do I think? How do I believe a man can tell if a woman is flirting? From my experience, which is admittedly limited, I believe there are a few legitimate, full-proof signs. Let me share them with you, but in a more Jeff Foxworthy-ish style…

If a woman looks at you with her eyes, she might be flirting.
If a woman throws the rock back at you from across the playground, she might be flirting.
If a woman asks you to sip something she is drinking, she is definitely flirting.
If a woman bites her lip when you wear chocolate-scented cologne, she just has a hankering for chocolate.
If a woman says you are ugly, she might be flirting.
If a woman says, “I wouldn’t go out with you in a million years,” all the while maintaining an incredulous smirk of disdain, ask her out again next week: she might be flirting with you.
If you happen to be wrestling (pronounced “wrasling”) around on the floor, and the girl you are pretending to let beat you up actually breaks your finger and then says, “OH, did I do that? I’m sorry!”… I’ll let you figure that one out. I just married her.