Category Archives: Aliens

Holidays Can Be Eightch E Double Hockey Sticks

Now wasn’t that a clever title? Took me a while to figure out “H.” Now, about those holidays…

There are plenty of them, you know. Everything from Christmas to the anniversary of President Obama’s fourteenth vacation. Everybody celebrates a special day once in a while, so…

Happy Independence Day!

But whatever the holiday, there are some inevitable horrors which we all must endure. Can you think of any? Here are a few that always seem to mess up my celebrations of famous dead people, religiously significant births, and historically important document signings.

  • Food– Have you ever noticed that the people who work the longest hours are the ones that make the most food at 2 a.m.? Why is it that every time we go somewhere to celebrate anything, my wife is always supposed to make something? Oh, I guess that wouldn’t be such a big deal, but why at midnight, or 2 in the morning? That’s just for small stuff like birthdays, or July 4th. Thanksgiving is murder on everybody, not just the turkey.
  • Long Drives – Why is it that the one place everybody wants to have a get-together is in the one place that no one can get to without a GPS? Then, when you do get there, where do you park? Why does this family member have to be the one with the least parking places and the most manicured lawn?
  • Packing – It never fails that whenever we have to go somewhere, even if it is just across town, the bigger the vehicle, the more stuff has to go. I have often wondered how much stuff my wife and daughters would think necessary if we all had to fit in a Mazda Miata? It probably wouldn’t matter. My wife is the queen of packing. One year our Ford Crown Victoria broke down 2 miles from our house. It was full, but she managed to swap everything over to a ’94 Honda Accord! I still don’t know how she did it.
  • Relatives – You know what I’m talking about. I bet you have relatives that you see every year, but can’t even remember their names. Sadly, they’re pretty much expendable. In reality, if you wait long enough, another waitress or bartender will come along and they’ll be part of somebody else’s family tree. Then, you won’t have to worry about going to the Dollar Tree for Christmas.
  • Fruit Cake – I hate it. I really, really, hate it. The worst part is that the same loaf gets re-gifted each year. There is no way to really calculate it’s age. Since it never decays, it may have been exposed to something weird back in the ’60’s, like chlordane, Dick Clark, or alien radiation.
  • Friends of Family – Who are these people? They are the lowly, orphaned, untouchables of society that can’t find their own party, so they stalk yours. They’re almost as creepy and unwanted as some that belong there. “Hey, who’s your friend?” “Oh, this is Bob, a co-worker of mine…He didn’t have anywhere else to go for the holiday.” ……..Can I just ask, “WHY?!” No, because if I upset him he might shoot me during the fireworks display.

Well, I hope that your holiday weekend is not hampered by silly stuff, but full of fun and hearty celebration. Even though the world is not what it used to be, America is still the Land of the Free. You can always leave the party if it gets a little too weird.

Dear God, may your blessings continue upon this nation, even though it is undeserving. Thank you for your mercy and grace that has made America the shining city on a hill for so long. Bring us back to the heart of our forefathers. Turn our hearts back to you.

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD…” – Psalm 33:12a

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

(Last verse of The Star Spangled Banner)

-Francis Scott Key, 1814

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Filed under Aliens, America, Food, General Observations, Life Lessons

The Raelians are Coming!!

About the time that I thought the only thing I had to worry about was Islam and LGBT marriages, along comes a new threat –

UFO cults. It’s not science fiction, folks.

As times change, pastors are having to battle change. It’s not that we oppose changing styles, or stuff like that. We oppose those who are attempting to change the truth of Scripture in order to accomplish their own goals.

People have always tried to twist the words of the Bible to meet their own needs. That is nothing new. The problem that we face today is the ever growing desire to make those changes legal; to force pastors, under threat of lawsuits, to accept sin and place a stamp of approval on it. An example of this would be a gay or lesbian couple trying to force a pastor to marry them, rather than face discrimination and/or human rights charges. If you don’t think they are serious, just check out this article from NPR written just a couple of years ago (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91486340). Things haven’t gotten better.

"I come to sue."

Now, get this, a Catholic school in Canada had been forced to pay damages to a group of UFO cultists! Even though you can go to their site, let me print it below (http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/ontario-tribunal-finds-catholic-school-board-guilty-of-religious-discrimina).

TORONTO, Ontario, December 20, 2010 (LifeSiteNews.com) – The Ontario Human Rights Tribunal has ordered a Catholic school board to compensate three members of a prominent UFO cult after finding the board guilty of religious discrimination.

Daniel, Michel, and Sylvie Chabot, members of the Raelian cult, were hired in November 2006 by the Conseil Scolaire Catholique Franco-Nord to offer ‘emotional pedagogy’ training sessions for teachers.  They delivered such sessions through what they call the Academy of Pleasurology and Emotional Intelligence (APEI).

The Catholic board chose to end the contract in January 2007 after discovering their membership in the cult, which claims that humans were planted on Earth by benevolent extraterrestrials.

On December 15th, Tribunal vice president Michelle Flaherty ruled that the board had discriminated against the three siblings on the basis of their beliefs.  The parties had agreed to mediation, but asked the Tribunal to determine if the human rights code was violated.  The decision does not reveal how much the board must pay in penalty.

The Raelian sect was founded by former French sports journalist Claude Vorilhon, now known as ‘Rael’, in 1973 after he claimed that he had an encounter with aliens.  The cult is known for its strong support of human cloning, which is based on their belief that cloning will usher in a paradise where people live forever.

Daniel Chabot, who calls himself a bishop, said they have filed dozens of human rights complaints, but this is the first to side with them.  “It took us 17 years of relentless battles and one case before a Human Rights Tribunal in Ontario to finally have our voices heard,” he stated in a press release.  “This sentence was ironically delivered on Human Rights Day, December 10, 2010 and was, needless to say, a sweet victory.”

Ronald Demers, the school board’s chairman, told the Catholic Register that they will not appeal.  LifeSiteNews.com did not hear back from the board by press time.

The aliens, I mean the Raelians are coming! The Raelians are coming!

P.S.   I don’t want to bash the poor Catholic folks in Canada, but why didn’t anyone see a HUGE RED FLAG when the board hired people from the “Academy of Pleasurology and Emotional Intelligence (APEI)” to conduct “emotional pedagogy” training? Just asking. What ever happened to Theology?

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Filed under Aliens, cults, General Observations, God, Preaching, the future, Uncategorized, World View