Several years ago I had the opportunity to regain my masculinity. No, I did not undergo an operation or get an injection of any kind. No, I didn’t go out into the woods and kill Bambi just to prove I knew how to fire a rifle or shoot an arrow. I regained my manhood by getting something else to drive besides a minivan…
I got a black Cadillac.
I was so proud of The Ride, as I so fondly named it. It was an old ’92 Sedan DeVille that had been sitting for a year or two and needed some work. All the owner wanted for it was $1,000, so I bought it. With a little cleaning, a little buffing, and a few new parts, I was getting looks from the bruthas and burning a little front-wheel-drive rubber.
Oh, it was the perfect “preacher car.”
Riding Into the Sunset
Unfortunately, old Cadillacs aren’t the most reliable forms of transportation. After a while, things start breaking down faster than one can fix them – and NOTHING is an inexpensive fix.
On top of the fixes that cost so much, The Ride only got around 12 mpg. That would have been bad enough, but the gas-guzzling V-8 also required premium gasoline. It was just too expensive and unreliable to be a daily driver.
So, today was the day I had to say “goodbye.” Believe me, it was difficult to see the old piece of junk go. It was MY car, not my wife’s. It was a car with an American V-8, not a hyper Japanese four-banger. It was big, unsafe, and FUN!
Back to a shared minivan. Oh well.
Note: If any of you have a car that a preacher can drive without looking like a wimp, while at the same time not having to take a loan out to drive across town, let me know.