You Might Be a Sinner If…

I’m a Redneck

Yes, I confess. I am a redneck, especially considering how burned my neck is after standing out in the sun for five+ hours. Which leads me to ask a question of myself…why do I never remember sun screen unless I go to a beach?

And I also know that I am a redneck because Jeff Foxworthy told me so. If you remember, Foxworthy’s comic routine made famous the line, “You might be a redneck.” Here are some that I know have applied to me at least once over the 45 years of my life (as of tomorrow, the 17th).

You might be a redneck if…

  • You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
  • Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
  • The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
  • Directions to your house include “Turn off the  paved road.”
  • Going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a  flashlight.
  • You use the term `over yonder’ more than once a month.

I’m a Sinner

Unlike a whole lot of people in this world (and in a world of their own), I can admit that I am a sinner. The only difference is that once I confessed my inability to change my nature, I traded my “filthy rags” for the imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ (Philippians 3:9). Now, I’m still a sinner, but I’m am a saved sinner.

So, based on the actions of Adam and Eve in the third chapter of Genesis, I took a cue from Jeff Foxworthy and came up with my own list of “you might be’s.” From that list I preached a message entitled “You Might Be a Sinner If…

You might be a sinner if…

  •   You have ever talked to a Serpent – and taken its advice (v. 2).
  •   You know the difference between “Naked” and “Necked” (v. 7). Side Note: If you consider fig leaves appropriate attire, you might be a sinner.
  •  You feel like running when the law shows up (v. 8).
  •  God is searching for you, and not the other way around (v. 9).
  •  You feel self-conscious or defensive about anything you’ve ever done (v. 9-10).
  •  You ever play the “blame game” – Others, “The devil made me do it” (v. 11-13).
  •  You were born (Romans 5:12).

Change of Status

Some people try on their own to change their status in life. Sometimes rednecks move away from Redneckville in order to become a different person. But what they find out is that Redneckville never left their heart. They still have those same desires to grill Spam and fish with dynamite.

In the same way, many people think, once they finally realize they are sinners, that change can come with a simple change of atmosphere, or the turning over of a new fig leaf.

The fact is that sinners don’t become “saints” on their own. It takes outside intervention.

If we confess with our sins, he is faithful to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9


Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, clothing, Humor, Preaching, salvation, self-worth

9 responses to “You Might Be a Sinner If…

  1. Grilled spam? Sounds a bit Monty Python. They used to serve spam fritters at school when I was a kid. Spam fritters were probably the best thing on the menu. Not that we had a choice. Loved the post.

  2. ronald

    everthing you said sounds good and thanks for comeing by hospital to vist hope to see you wed night hope you liked the quint ask for special to show off mutli task just like the church is

  3. Love this! I never would have connected redneckedness with sinnerliness, but you are dead on. If it never leaves your heart, you can never move physically far enough away from it.

  4. If you are ever in our neck of the swamp, would be so kind to join us for prayer? Great post! James

    • Love to! But where’s your swamp, and are there any gators?

      • Anthony don’t worry about the gators we eat more of them than they do of us! Now the state bird, the mosquito, really enjoys fresh meat so get a live chicken in Georgia. We will stake it out and when the mosquitoes fly in we just pick them off with our shotguns.
        Now to get here just head south till you get to where that big mouse lives and go south about another two hours on Highway 17. On highway 17 you are going to come to a place were an indian sneezed called Wauchula. Find the Ace Hardware and send me an email and come get you or ask Bubba were I live. I will be praying for you don’t make Bubba mad! Good Bless! James PS. Bring your guns.

      • Dude! We are going to Destin in a month or two (ain’t gonna say exactly when, you understand), but you sound like you mean “swamp” literally!

  5. Pingback: A Church Full of Sinners | A Mom's Life

  6. Pingback: Step into my parlor said the spider to the fly! « doyoumeanwhatiknow

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