15 Signs You’re Not from Minnesota

I’m Giving In

Before I started recording on YouTube, I did a lot more writing.

And before I started creating content for video, I used to tackle issues of the day on a more regular basis.

Neither one of my YouTube channels have a format open to my thoughts on current events and complicated social issues. They are geared either to Bible study and/or preaching or watch-related material.

Nonetheless, here I can say what I really think. Here I am free to express my feelings more freely and with transparent honesty.

So, I am now giving in to the call of the commentary starved. Yes, even though nobody has asked for my opinion, I’m going to give it. How else are those hungry for more opinions going to survive?

The Crazies

Why is it that most of the country can look at what is going on in the State of Minnesota and see what those living there can’t? Do they not realize that they are becoming the very definitions of every kind of crazy one can think of?

Have you ever heard of the term “Walmartian”? That’s not Wal-Martian, like a price saving alien from Mars. No, it’s a name that has been given to the most stereotypical examples of Wal-Mart shoppers whose water has been tainted for generations.

You know a Walmartian when you see a Wal-Mart shopper that causes you to look away, then look back, then look away again only to tell your neighbor to look without looking. They ain’t normal.

Well, it seems that we have found the source of the polluted gene pool from which Walmartians drink – it’s Minnesota.

How to Tell You Are Not from Minnesota (and probably not a Crazy)

Early in my life I was little embarrassed of my country/hillbilly/redneck upbringing in the mountains of Tennessee. However, eventually I grew up and out of the culturally imposed shame. Now, because of Minnesota, I am thrilled to know where my ancestors copulated!

But how do I know none of my forefathers and foremothers ever drank of the same polluted water that’s obviously quenching the thirst of screeching gender-confused protesters out west? Easy!

Here are 15 Things I DO NOT DO that prove I, nor my America-loving ancestors, never came from Minnesota.

1. I do not support relocating pirates to my hometown.
2. I have never had the desire nor inclination to change my hair color to pink, purple, or blue.
3. I do not consume illegal substances.
4. I do not hire unsavory individuals to tattoo my face with offensive images or language.
5. I do not put myself in harm’s way by intentionally entering into the danger zone where law enforcement officers are attempting to arrest a known criminal.
6. I do not harbor criminals, nor do I assist them in fleeing from law enforcement.
7. I do not threaten to start a second Civil War when I know how the first one turned out.
8. I do not enter places of worship claiming it is my right to interfere with the rights of others.
9. I do not use my vehicle to block roads.
10. I do not use my vehicle as a weapon against law enforcement.
11. I do not spit on other people, especially those who are allowed by law to use deadly force when threatened.
12. I do not get into fights with police.
13. I do not hate capitalism and propose to “tear down the system.”
14. I do not have Trump Derangement Syndrome.
15. I do not think Hillary Clinton should have been President.

I could have kept going, but the list would be too long to read in one sitting. Just know that what I didn’t include are automatically covered because I bathe regularly, worship a biblical Jesus, and have job that does not include community organizing.

So, Minnesota has been on my mind. Thankfully, I still have enough IQ points not deducted by listening to Tampon Tim and Ilhan Omar.