A Sexually Predaceous Christmas Song

Every year around this time I will re-publish this post. My opinion is the same this year as it was last year.

“No!” Means “NO!”

A Winter Romance album coverI don’t know about you, but “Baby It’s Cold Outside” absolutely disgusts me. Every time I hear it sung on the radio (usually by Dean Martin), primarily during the Christmas season, it makes my blood boil! But what happens when I complain? Nothing; it’s “just an innocent song,” they say.

It’s just a “cat and mouse” thing, they say.

But seriously, would you just consider the lyrics? Have we not progressed to the point in society where we recognize red flags when we see them? Or, are we still in the age when it’s perfectly acceptable to coerce a woman, to interpret her “no” as a “yes”?

Is it acceptable these days to care nothing about a girl’s feelings and reputation all because your pride might get hurt if she says no to your advances? Well, that’s all “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is; an aroused sexual predator pressuring a reluctant date to stay the night, drugging her if necessary.

Red Flags

To make my point, I have included the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in this post, highlighting and commenting along the way.

“Baby It’s Cold Outside”

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

Up until this point, it’s not that bad. Asking someone to stay the night is not the problem (from a legal sense). But things start to progress from questionable to insensitive pressuring very quickly.

My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some records on while I pour

So, the girl actually cares about the feelings of her parents – imagine that! But does that matter to the guy? No. He cares nothing for her fears or her parents feelings – sounds like a real “keeper.”

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink?No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Yeah, who cares what the neighbors think? No biggie, right? But isn’t putting drugs in your date’s drink illegal? Isn’t denying your date safe transport home considered kidnapping? Isn’t drugging your date and keeping her against her will the precursors to rape? I guess it’s hard to break the “spell” of a drug once it’s already caused one’s eyes to sparkle like “starlight.”

I ought to say no, no, no – Mind if I move in closer?
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ah, but it’s cold outside

Notice the “no, no, no” followed by the predator’s advancing moves (as a father, I wan’t to beat the crap out of this guy about now). She said “no,” but she also said she “ought” to say no. Well, what do you expect someone drugged to say??? Now you’ve got a girl who’s unable to decide for herself what to do and a guy who’s making her feel guilty for not putting out!! Whatever happened to the season of giving, not getting, hmmm?

I’ve got to get home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat – It’s up to your knees out there
You’ve really been grand – Thrill when you touch my hand
Why don’t you seeHow can you do this thing to me?

Don’t you just love this? It’s now around the fifth time this girl’s expressed her desire to leave her date’s house, but he won’t give up. Then she appeals to chivalry and asks for his coat, because by now she can’t remember why she doesn’t have one, even though it’s cold enough to be snowing. Does he give it to her like a gentleman should? No, he hides her coat (evidently) and continues to touch her! Finally, she begs him to recognize her reluctance, but all the animal can do is play mind games (a hallmark of predators).

There’s bound to be talk tomorrowThink of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can’t stayGet over that holdout
Ah, but it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside

Once again, it’s all “poor me” from the predator, mixed in with a little twist of feigned caring (“Oh, you’ll get sick!”). Does he care about her reputation? Does he care about her at all? Evidently not. Even after she makes one last plea, all he can say is “get over your holding out on me!” Because, after all, it’s cold outside.

 – Lyrics: Frank Loesser, 1944

I’m dead serious about this, people. This is no joke! If we will allow every other little thing to offend our sensibilities, and yet allow this song to be played over the airwaves, we are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.

Am I overreacting? What if it was YOUR daughter? 


Filed under abuse, General Observations, Parenting

11 responses to “A Sexually Predaceous Christmas Song

  1. Wow. That is disgusting. Honestly, I had never listened to the lyrics, or seen them before. I knew the title, of course, bu t that is all.
    Radio stations should be banning that song.
    Thanks for the post.

  2. I always thought this song was creepy also.

    It’s hard nowadays to justify a lot of the songs of our parents and grandparents.

    But there was a certain type of innocence back then; and it is really only from our current perspective that we can judge the past.

    I mean when I was a little kid we had Guns muskets and all sorts of toy guns and one of our favourite things to do when we were bored: there is a street that ran perpendicular to our street blocks and it wasn’t busy but it was a through street to the neighbourhoods so it had a fair amount of intermittent traffic. We would hide in the bushes and pretend that we were at war somehow. And then when we noticed a car coming way down the street we would set up in the middle of the street and I kind of formation like a kind of revolutionary war kind a Civil War formation six or seven of us all with her toy guns and pointed out the car coming towards us. And then someone would yell fire and we would all fire our CapGuns and then we will disperse and run into the bushes is the car went by.

    No one had a problem with that. The police were never called. and we called the enemy “japs”. And the Germans were “Nazis”. And we played cowboys and Indians.

    It is kind of similar, I have to say, to placing judgement on that “old jazz standard”. I’m not defending it to say that it’s not creepy. But I am kind of saying that 35 years from now there are many practises that we do nowadays that we think are all good that people judge in their own ethical light.

    • Interesting that you should point this out – the distance between contexts. I was talking with my mother last night about Judge Roy Moore, and what did she say? “People took things differently 40 years ago…now a man just touches a woman’s arm and it’s considered assault.”

      But, then there’s also “16 Candles.” Ever listed to that from a father’s perspective? And how old was the singer? Hmmm? Pedophile.

      • Oh man. Some of those early rock ‘n’ roll tunes are just kind of weird. Lol. And then you think about Buddy Holly and who is that piano player guy who married is like 13-year-old cousin or something.

  3. I see your point. I never gave the lyrics much thought. She could have, and maybe might have, bolted. The ending implies she didn’t, but… Besides, she didn’t resist too much. Saying, “At least I’m gonna say that I tried” doesn’t exhibit much of a conviction on her part. I think they deserved each other.

  4. I’ve always disliked that song as well. Thanks for posting about it!

  5. Seems I haven’t heard it this year, though

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