A Dad’s Vent about Virtue and Purity

No graphics. No fancy fonts. Just words.

Tonight my youngest daughter is going to her “homeschool” prom. Yes, home-educated kids DO have lives and opportunities for socialization. The dress she chose is a beautiful, long, white gown worthy of a princess – of which she is.

This morning I mentioned to my wife how that after all she’s been put through…all she’s had to endure…white was an appropriate choice. My wife replied, “Because Jesus makes us clean.”

Then, like a flood, all of the vitriolic comments from writers, bloggers, columnists, celebrities, and even so-called Christian youth ministers came washing over my mind. Look them up, if you like, but I’m not going to give them the courtesy of a link on my blog.

Oh, but what the heck. Here’s just two names: Selena Gomez (done with the purity ring); Rachel Held Evans (“Christians idolize virginity”). You have to go look ’em up yourself.

They condemn parents and preachers like me within the fast-dwindling conservative subculture called “right-wing” Christianity, for seemingly elevating “purity” and “virginity” to an iconic, or even sacramental level. They lash out at us for celebrating sexual abstinence and purity before marriage. They say we put too many pressures on young girls and then devalue them once they make a mistake.

News Flash: It doesn’t matter what my daughters do… You mess with them and you’ll find out how valuable they are to me. Don’t count on grace. That is NOT hyperbole.

Here’s the thing, though. Do you want to know why so many social liberals – the same kind who now want my little girl to share a shower stall with a man, should he decide that day he’s a woman – want to denigrate, degrade, and devalue purity, chastity, and virtue? It’s pretty hellaciously simple.

The desires of the flesh, pure and damned (literal context) simple.

You see, it’s not about standards being too high. It’s not about restricting a person’s rights to have fun. No, it’s all about hating God’s plan for waiting till marriage and wanting everything now … with no regrets, no condemnation, and no consequences.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read and listened to the complaints from women who say we put too much of a premium on virtue, on sexual purity. I’ve heard so many, frankly, that the fleshly, sinful part of my nature begs me to let it punch one of them! Yet, what are they really saying when they cry for loosening the reigns, relaxing the standards, providing the condoms and clean sheets, and accepting the casual oat-sowing that dating has become?

This is what they are actually saying, and a lot more…

  • I know better than God.
  • My sexual passions are more important than my spiritual fulfilment.
  • Who cares about marriage? That’s later; this is now.
  • My spouse? Who gives a flip what baggage he/she will have to deal with 20 years from now? Take it or leave it.
  • I have no concept of, nor do I care to understand the “greater mystery” of marriage.
  • I will never have to answer to God for what I do. And if I do, He will understand, so I’m not going to worry.
  • Parents, why don’t you leave your children alone?

For those of you out there who might like to leave a nasty comment, well, that’s up to you. However, I, for one, refuse to condone your Corinthian perversion of what God designed. I refuse to lower my standards.

My desire is for every little girl and boy to grow up and experience God’s perfect design for marriage. Unfortunately, none will … and none of us have … because we’ve all sinned since Eden. Nevertheless, virtue and purity are the ideals for which we should strive! By doing so we honor God’s creation and expose the lies of the Enemy who only wants to steal, kill, and destroy.

So, I like the white dress. I like what it symbolizes, whether Haley realizes it or not.

But who am I? I’m just a dad. And I love my daughter.



Filed under Culture Wars, current events, Marriage, Parenting

17 responses to “A Dad’s Vent about Virtue and Purity

  1. Good perspective there. God’s position on anything (including our sexual choices) could never be wrong. He wants us to value virtue and purity… It is better to obey God than man. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Jesse

    I completely agree. It’s sad that so many people are ruining their future for a ‘good time’ now. It’s like the marshmallow test. You can have 1 marshmallow now or wait a bit and get 2 marshmallows later. Too many people are impatient and take the 1 or aren’t even educated about the 2 marshmallows. I also don’t like how society is forcing sex ed on kids at such a young age. Just let children enjoy their childhood

  3. Reblogged this on a simple man of God and commented:

    I would not have worded it this way, for two reasons:
    1) Quite frankly, I am not a dad, yet.
    2) I have a tendency to be more … diplomatic than Anthony at times. (You could call it politically correct, but that would be wrong.) Therefore, a few words would be different or reworded.
    That being said, I whole-heartedly agree with what he put in here. Read it. Agree or disagree, you might learn something.


  4. As a woman, I have a different perspective but I don’t disagree with your point. The opposing values you present are against God’s standards, and that isn’t okay. But virginity/ purity is idolized- because being a virgin does not make me pure. The atoning blood of my Savior does. I have seen so many people struggle with the idea that they are beyond grace/ saving because of mistakes they have made. I am NOT supporting the mistakes, but encouraging God’s love to shine through- discipling (teaching) and loving as God calls us to.

    • If people only knew our story, and the significance of my point regarding the white dress, they would understand that you and I are on the same page.

      I make no attempt to speak for girls/women. All I can do is speak from my own perspective as a man and an expositor of God’s Word. Thankfully, if preached in context and with love, the Bible speaks clearly to all perspectives. Virginity has its place, but just as with circumcision, the heart is what matters most. The uncircumcised can be circumcised of heart; the un-virgin can be made pure.

      I can’t help but think of how one day the church will be presented to Christ as a bride “without spot or blemish.” Think of it, a chaste Bride! How ludicrous is that?? I’ve been unfaithful, so how can that be? Grace!! The righteousness of Jesus! Justified!

    • Oh, I almost forgot! Thank you for the comment Mrs. Klem! We still think of you every time we go Christmas caroling 🙂

      • Just after I commented, Daniel and I talked about this post and he shared much of what you most recently said- I think you two know each other 😉 Thanks for letting me post.

    • I agree. Being or not being a virgin does not change our worth. We all make mistakes. Life is a journey.

  5. God’s original plan that joined man and woman together in marriage and in a Kingdom assignment (because He has never limited it to married people) has been under attack since the Garden, with women being a perpetual target. Only because of Jesus’ grace is there any possibility that purity, unity, and love among believers can be restored. And the Father will present that unblemished Bride to the Son…right on time!

  6. Oh my word! I have chills running down my spine! This post nails so many points. I am a single mom and I am momma bear when it comes to my daughter! I think it is so valuable that we instill in our daughters their worth and that they value themselves. too many times are young women made to feel so insecure and insignificant and it just breaks my heart. Thank you giving as the daddy’s perspective!

  7. I’ll just keep reminding people that life is a journey, and that atheists exist and Christianity is simply a religion… celebrities are allowed to be atheists, right? I mean, Jesus, you’d think people forget to accept others! Isn’t that what Jesus was all about? Touche, love.

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