Secrets to a Long Life

Morning Questions

I don’t know what it is about Monday mornings and the questions kids want to ask while I am driving. Something must happen over the weekends which cause children to seek wise counsel from the school bus driver.

One question I got the other day was just too big for me. I mean, seriously, I laughed, shook my head, and ignored the kindergartner. He asked, “Mr. Baker, why is the world so big?” If I had answered truthfully and said, “Because that’s the way God made it,” then I would have been fired. So, since I couldn’t think of anything overly stupid with which to respond, I stayed silent.

However, this morning, there was a question I had to answer. This morning a young girl got on the bus and asked, “Mr. Baker, do you know the secret to living a long life?” “Well, there are several secrets, but what’t the one you know?”

“Play the harmonica,” she replied.

“Play the harmonica?”

“Yes,” she said matter-of-factly. “Because playing the harmonica will help your lungs, and strong lungs will help you live longer.”

“Is that so?” I asked. “Yep,” answered the little girl.

“Well,” I replied, “my daddy played the harmonica, and he’s dead.”

My Secrets 

OK, so I’ve never been convicted for the over use of tact. Sometimes I am too brutally honest for my own good (so my wife says). Other times, however, I can be sweet and compassionate – just not this morning, evidently.

Anyway, this morning’s question got me to thinking. Could I come up with some secrets for living a long life?

10 Secrets to Living a Long Life (by someone who hasn’t yet died):

  1. Never pull the trigger when it’s pointed at you.
  2. Never smoke more than 3 cigars in an hour.
  3. Never jump from a moving vehicle if it’s moving through the air.
  4. Never corner a rock badger.
  5. Drink at least 3 glasses of something a week.
  6. Eat food.
  7. Don’t drive drunk, or with a teenage girl with directional issues.
  8. Breath regularly, except in the tourist’s bathroom at the Bush’s Baked Bean factory.
  9. Hide all sharp objects, scissors, and ammunition before going to bed with an angry wife.
  10. Drink excessive amounts of coffee.

Serious Secrets

Now that you have my secrets for living a long, not necessarily healthy, life, what does the Bible say about long life? What kind of “secrets” can we find hidden in that wonderful book of Wisdom?

5 Biblical Secrets to Long Life

  1. Obey and honor your parents (Deut. 5:16; Eph. 6:1-3).
  2. Don’t mess around with another person’s spouse (Prov. 6:29-35).
  3. “Keep my commandments, and live…” (Prov. 7:2).
  4. “Forsake the foolish, and live…” (Prov. 9:6).
  5. Repent of your sins and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior – that’s the secret to ETERNAL life (John 3:15-16; 10:28; Rom. 6:23).

 

So, what are your secrets to living a long life? Do you have any more to share with us? Leave them in the comment section so we can all learn to live a little longer 😉

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5 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Humor, Life Lessons, Life/Death

5 responses to “Secrets to a Long Life

  1. Very nice. But why is the world so big?

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