4 Reasons to Support “Calexit”

From “Yes California” to CFC

I have heard rumors that something was going on in California. Not too long ago I heard of a group that was trying to get enough votes stirred up to have California leave the Union and form its own nation. Well, that group has now folded, but for some very ironic reasons.

Just today the news came out that the leader of a group called “Yes California” had quit and was now relocating to Russia. Evidently Louis Marinelli, the former president of the group, is leaving California AND America because of “frustration, disappointment and disillusionment with the United States” (see attached article).

What I find very odd is that the people from “Yes California” are now going to be joining up with another group, the “California Freedom Coalition,” which is a group that was founded partly in protest of Donald Trump. Isn’t it ironic that these people’s former leader had Russian ties and thinks it’s better to live in Russia, yet the people that protest Trump do so because of his supposed ties to Russia? This is making my head spin.

Anyway, because the rest of the nation is not like California, there is a bunch of Californians determined to secede, and I’m all for it. Seriously! I mean, if Salon.com can see the good in it, why not me?

“An independent California isn’t that wacky of an Idea.” – Salon.com

4 Reasons

You may think I am joking – and you’d have good reason to think that – but I’m almost positively  serious about this. I think there are four absolutely wonderful reasons why we should support California breaking away – or at least attempting to – from the United States of America.

ONE: There are a lot of good people in California, and I’d hate for us as a nation to lose them. So, as it was in the American Civil War, a California secession would most certainly result in many good, hard-working, conservative, drug-free citizens moving across the border into the eastern 47. That would leave the vast majority of fruits, nuts, crazies, etc. attempting to run their own weaponless Utopia. Call it “separating the sheep from the goats.”

TWO: Just like with the Civil war of the 1860’s, Californians should be persuaded to secede against the will of Congress, and the people, and demand the United States government and its military try to stop them. This would be fantastic! The battle would practically be won without a shot! Of course, there will be liberal politicians there whose armed body guards will be compelled to fight; and there will be the usual drug cartels and pornography kingpins with hired soldiers surrounding them; but for the most part the whole state will be defenseless thanks to its anti-gun legislation. Think about it, Californians could finally come to see the real reason behind the Second Amendment they hate so much.

THREE: Because Californians will lose any and all armed conflict, especially since their citizenry is only experienced in marching, the “rebellions” will be quickly squashed. What rebels are not deported to Mexico or Cuba by President Trump will be forced to work in order to pay retribution. I support the whole “Calexit” thing because in the event of their loss, we could do what the Union did to us in the South after the Civil War: send in the Carpet Baggers! Doing so would allow us to redistribute California wealth in order to pay for their stupidity.

FOUR: Lastly, California secession would be worth supporting for one big reason, if no other: Impending Calamity. I mean, should California be allowed to secede for real, then think of the money we as a nation could save when California falls into the Pacific! No obligation to send Federal disaster aid!

There you have it. I think it’s a WIN-WIN for all involved, no matter how it turns out!



Filed under America, Countries, current events

6 responses to “4 Reasons to Support “Calexit”

  1. There’s only one thing that could dissuade me from encouraging session, that is if CA would start allowing their strawberries to ripen on the vine before shipping them. Otherwise we buy local. 🙂

  2. Having grown up in California, with continuing ties to the state, including family, I choose to interpret you argument as political satire. ;>)

  3. Mikey G

    California has about 55 percent of the military it will take with it, and it will immediately be the second most heavily armed nuclear nation.. Also the movement will appeal to the UN rather than face a secession like the failed revolution. If the UN protects Ca decision and it will, if the US fires a shot the full weight of the rest of the world plus the 2 Ford class carriers and 5 Nimitz class carriers, all of the subs in the pacific, and Indian, Hawaii Nevada Oregon and Washington are going too. That will leave the rust belt of unemployed Trump supporters to pick up the 12 trillion dollars of new debt created by this incredible tax plan. Did you seriously think we havent already talked with the admirals and generals? Anywho….the singularity of quantum mechanics dictates that in 50 percent of the cases the USA will exist in some dimension with Cali intact, and 50 percent of the dimensions it bails and the rust belt dies in its own vomit.

    • I’m glad there are some people out there who take this as seriously as you do. Good for you! Once California leaves and becomes its own socialistic orange-juice version of Cuba, then we will take care of all your defectors … unless you build a wall to keep them in, of course.

    • Wait, what was I thinking?? Since when did California have a navy with a nuclear sub, much less a carrier battle group?

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