“My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad” – a sermon

The following sermon was preached at Bethlehem Baptist, Warthen, GA, on Father’s Day, 2022.

Welcome and Intro

Good morning and happy Father’s Day!

Thankful to Be a Father

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I just want to say that I am thankful to be a father, and I’m so thankful that God gave me a good father on earth. My earthly father has gone on to be with the Lord, so I can’t introduce you to him. But if I could…my goodness, I am sure you would love him!

But today, I’m not going to reminisce about my earthly dad. Today’s gonna be about my Abba Father, God. …Opening Prayer

You know, I am so grateful that the Lord made me a dad. He gave me 3 beautiful daughters, two of which are here today…

But being a father has helped me to better understand, even if just by a little bit, the sacrifice that God made when He allowed His Son, Jesus, to be crucified.

Before I was a dad, it was impossible for me to understand a father’s heart. Therefore, it was impossible for me to understand the feeling of one of your children disobeying. It was impossible for me to understand what it feels like when children break your heart. It was impossible to understand the pain of having to discipline.

I was the type who would say “My children will NEVER do that” … or something like, “If my kid ever talked to me like that, well, I’d…” Then my daughters came along… That kind of changed things. Parenting is a lot different in person!

Being Tuff!

But when my girls were young, it was my responsibility to convince them that I was tough and could beat up anybody, particularly anyone they might date. As a matter of fact, for a long time I had the stipulation that before I’d give them away to some punk, I’d have to spar – fight – with the guy, first.

I don’t know how seriously they took me, but I do know that at least Katie told a few guys about it.

But let me tell you, I wasn’t joking! I felt like, if nothing else, it would be good to see what kind of guy would be watching over them when I wasn’t around. I guess the only reason Gus and I never sparred was because, “I pitied the fool!”

I mean, he’s such a nice, caring, loving young man – why would I risk hurting him and scaring away the best offer she got?

But the whole reason I’m saying this is not because I want to talk about how tough I am… or what kind of award-winning fighter I was… how many boards I could break… how many people I sent away in tears …

NO! I brought all this up so that I could [dovetail] into a real “tough father comparison,” the kind we all experienced at some point when we were children…

“My dad can beat up your dad!”

There was the story of three boys talking about how talented their dads were. The first boy said, “My dad just wrote a few words on a piece of paper, sent it away, then somebody sent him $20 for it – they called it a poem.”
To that the second boy replied, “Oh, really? Well, my dad wrote 100 words, and somebody paid him $50 for it. They called it a story.”
A third boy heard all this and spoke up. “If you think that’s something, my dad’s got both your dad’s beat. He wrote some words down on a single sheet of paper and read it in church. It took 6 men to collect all the money.”

How many times did you ever get into something like that? It could’ve been that your dad was bigger, tougher, richer, smarter, faster, stronger, or whatever. Or, if you missed out on it as a kid, maybe you grew up and played the same game with other adults – my child is smarter than yours, or my child is more popular than yours.

Well, whether you played that game when you were young or not, that’s EXACTLY what we are going to be doing today!

Did you know that everybody has a father? I’m not talking about a man here on Earth – I’m talking about a different kind of father, a SPIRITUAL FATHER…one you are bound to take after, regardless.

I’d like us first to look at 3 different passages.

Galatians 4:6 – And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.
Ephesians 1:2-3 – Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:
1 John 2:1 – My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

Now, let’s look at the words of Jesus in John 8:44…

John 8:44 – Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

Everybody in this world has a father, and it’s either God or Satan. There are no other choices. You are either a child of God, or you’re a child of the Devil. You have either been born again and adopted into the family of God, OR you are still lost without Christ, a stranger and an enemy of God.

Now, I get it…some people don’t like their fathers and refuse to acknowledge them. For example, you might be unsaved, still lost, still bound for a sinner’s hell, but you say, Preacher, I’m not like my daddy the Devil. No, God is not my Father, but I’m still a good person!

My daddy (the Devil) has a horrible reputation: he

hurts people,
destroys lives,
lies, swindles, steals,
causes illness, abuses women, kills babies,
gets people hooked on drugs, starts wars, and all kinds of stuff… but NOT ME! I’m nothing like him!

But what did Jesus say in John 8:44? You are “of your father the devil, and the lust of your father you will do.” As long as you remain in Satan’s family, you are going to be like him.

But you know what, no matter how bad a person can be, there’s always gonna be somebody who defends them. It’s like, “I know my son robbed that liquor store, but he’s a good kid! He didn’t deserve to get shot!”

And no matter how bad a father can be to his children, there are still going to be those who want to play the “my dad can beat up your dad” game.

The World ain’t no different.

So, let’s go there!

“Preacher, your Abba Daddy ain’t nothin’! My daddy can beat up your Father any day of eternity!”

Really? Is that so?

Yeah! And I can prove it, too! Even from your so-called Bible.

Really?? OK, then, prove it! Tell us how BIG and BAD your daddy is.

Well, 1^st of all, He waged war in Heaven! He took a third of all the angels away with him, then he destroyed God’s perfect little paradise on Earth and got his first perfect people to sin.

Now, he is so powerful that he commands those angels (demons) to make people do whatever he wants, like possess people…

Matthew 8:28 KJV – And when he was come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, there met him two possessed with devils, coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no man might pass by that way.

He possesses people all the time. And when he does, he can make them hurt themselves, cut themselves, have convulsions, blind them, or simply make them crazy.

He destroys marriages, breaks hearts of parents, starves children, makes leaders greedy, and talks millions of people your Father loves into suicide.

Ever heard of slavery, genocide, torture, poison, pornography, rape, abuse, murder, human trafficking, concentration camps, war? All my daddy’s ideas!

He can also influence nations, fix elections, and offer every kind of pleasure you can think of. He even offered Jesus prestige and power – He could have been ruler of the world! – if He would have only worshipped him.

Yeah, preacher man, I’d say my dad could beat up your weak, harp-playing, cheek-turning, wuss of a Father. For crying out loud, He couldn’t even stop humans from killing his Son! What a loser!

What would you say to that? I think I’d say something like this…

I’ve got to admit, Beelzebubba, that’s pretty impressive. I mean, seriously, if I were nothing more than a fool, I’d be convinced your daddy is invincible. He sounds scary, that’s for sure.

However, I’m still confident – yes, I am persuaded – I know that I know that I know my Heavenly Father can kick your lying daddy’s rear.

As a matter of fact, it wouldn’t be the first time, and it won’t be the last!

Oh yeah?? OH, YEAH!

The Holy Comeback

First things first: Let’s start with THE BEGINNING. As Bill Cosby famously said, “I brought you into this world, I can take you out.” Your daddy wouldn’t even be here without my Daddy creating him! He even gave him his first job! It was a good one, too, but your loser dad went and messed it up when he got a big head and said, “I will ascend unto heaven, I will set my throne above the stars of God...”

What an idiot!

2^nd, That war in heaven you talked about? The only reason your daddy left with a third of the angels was because he got his tail handed to him. Jesus said in Luke 10:18, “I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.” Gotta wonder how bad that hurt.

3^rd, Yeah, your dad DID contribute to Adam and Eve sinning – got to give him that. But did you know that my Daddy was always a step ahead of yours?

A long, long time before your daddy played dress up in the garden, even before time began, he knew the moves Satan would make. It’s almost like my Father could look into the future, like He had a time machine, or something…but it’s better than that! He’s not limited by time and space – He created it!

Now that I think about it, it’s no wonder King David wrote so many songs about my Daddy, because He is worthy to be praised! How wonderful are all His works!

You know, a long time ago, your daddy came before my daddy and accused this poor guy named Job. Your dad couldn’t stand him because he seemed so perfect, so he sorta made a bet that he could make my Father’s servant curse Him. That’s when my Daddy came up with a phrase that Clint Eastwood used: “Go ahead, make my day.”

Your old man couldn’t even whip a broken down, boil-covered, poverty-stricken human! Job NEVER gave in because even he knew your daddy wasn’t worth it. LOSER!

Now, granted, Job didn’t have it easy when your dad was messing with him, so he did have a lot of questions. But that’s when my Father gave him a lesson in reality. You know what reality is, don’t you? You don’t even know what a woman is!

In the book of Job, chapters 40 and 41, we read how…

He laid the foundations of the Earth
He created the measurements (the standards) to measure it.
He hung the foundations of the earth on nothing.
He shut up the seas
He can make garments from clouds and cloth out of darkness
He told the waves where to stop and go no further
He causes the morning – He creates each sunrise
He has walked the depths of the seas
He opened the gates of death and hell
He knows where light goes and darkness hides when the light comes
He owns the treasures of snow and hail that fall to earth
He cut channels for the overflow of rain and maid paths for the lightning.
He causes it to rain
He can even control the effects of the constellations; or even cause them to fly apart if He wants to
He can number the clouds without weather radar.

Let’s get down to it, OK? Your dad is a conniving, selfish, prideful, hateful, pervert who lies about everything, including himself.

He probably never told you that my Father has never lost a fight and NEVER will. He has prepared a place for those He loves – His family – but He’s also prepared a place for your daddy.

The Battle Won

You see, your daddy was already beaten up by my Daddy a long time ago. It was the biggest beat down the world had ever seen! It was simply beautiful!!

It went down like this… My Dad came into the world that your daddy thought he controlled and was born as a tiny, week, helpless little baby child. Then, He walked around for 33 years as an easy target, but from the time He was a baby till He was 33, your loser daddy couldn’t lay a hand on Him. Not one! Then, to make it look more of a fair fight, my daddy held open his arms and said, “Go ahead, hit me.” Your dad hit and hit and hit. He beat my Daddy so badly that people said you couldn’t even tell He was human. Then, in what seemed like a fatal move, He simply laid down for the count.

Oh, my goodness, you should have seen the celebration. Out of the whole world, only 200 or so mourned my Daddy. The rest of the world and all the evil minions of your messed up dad partied like there was no tomorrow. But the thing is, your dad fell for my Dad’s plan and took the bait. And the best part of it all was that since my Dad wrote the rules for the fight, going down for the count meant the clock started at 3 days! 3 days later my Dad snatched the keys to death, hell, and the grave out of your dad’s quivering hands and walked victorious out of the temporary holding place they called a tomb.

Don’t you get it? For what, like 4,000 years or so, your dad planned and schemed to kill my Dad. He thought he was so smart. But your dad got played, Bruh! My Daddy beat up your daddy like no daddy has ever been beat before! And guess what, He’s going to keep beating him every time he comes around!

Illustration of my earthly Dad coming to my aid at K-Mart.

Back around 1990 I went out with a girl. I only went out with her once, and she never once mentioned that she had a boyfriend at the time. Like I said, we went on one date, no more, and all we did that night was go get something to eat and walk around a park and talk (which is when I realized I didn’t want a second date).
Well, fast forward to when I was at work the next day (I worked at K-Mart). While there, the girl’s brother came up to my counter in the sporting goods section and warned me that her boyfriend was really angry and was going to come by and beat my a**. Supposedly, he was a big guy. So what did I do? I picked up the phone and called my dad – the ex-bodybuilder, weightlifter, ex-moonshiner, and reserve Sheriff’s deputy who carried a Colt .357 magnum everywhere.
Funny how that when my daddy came to where I worked and sat in the parking lot, I wasn’t afraid of some bully one bit! All I had to do was make the call.

Church, don’t run in fear from the Devil; he’s just a lying blowhard who’s already been defeated by our Father in Heaven. However, when Satan starts threatening you, remember Who’s on your side! He’s always there.

1 John 4:4 – Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Let us pray.