SarcAsm

Dear Alabama,

My heart breaks for you. Hot, painful tears stream down my cheeks. Every time I breath through my nose I think of how sore a sobbing elephant’s trunk must feel. Oh, and how many trees had to die to make the piles of tissue needed to capture the snot? 

If you need a shoulder, dear Tide fan, I’m here for you. I know you’re crushed. Just give me a call if you need to talk; I’ll be happy to listen. 

Just make sure you call – don’t FaceTime me – I don’t want you to see my smile 🙂