Bring On the Space Aliens…We Could Use Them

I was driving my school bus today….

….and then I began to think of all the different kinds of children that must be transported.  I have had to chaufer quite a few children over the last 9 years (I first started driving in 2001), some in Kentucky, the rest in Tennessee.  Most have been good kids, while others have not.  Some have made me question a lot of long-held beliefs, like every child is precious……are they?  Well, of course they are! All children are gifts from God above. Psalms 127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” But, please forgive me, I’m beginning to believe that some of the “fruit” spoils easier and quicker than others.

Typical little angel, just like my middle and high school kids

I never wanted to work in a daycare.  I hate daycares – not the people that work there, mind you; just the screaming and crying children (I have bad memories of abandonment).  So, why do I drive a school bus? For the most part, I love children, especially if I don’t have to feed them, take them to the bathroom, change their diapers, wipe their noses, suction their noses, or pay their way through college. Little kids can be sweet and innocent.  Little boys, for example, ask great questions like, “Why do you drive a bus?” or, “Is a bus hard to drive?”  Little girls ask questions like, “Mr. Baker, are you going to have a baby?”  or, “Are you really old, or do you just shave your head so we don’t see your gray hair?” Oh, they’re loads of laughs.  But  on the other hand, they do keep nerve pill manufacturers in business.

Typical elementary child on a school least that's the way they seem

Have you ever had the desire to be attacked by an alien spacecraft?

I have.  There are some children on my bus that have caused me to suffer from daydreams that may cause me psychological harm.  Today, I actually grinned as I contemplated an alien space craft hovering over my bus.  From this technologically advanced craft I could almost imagine a mechanism lowering down, ripping open the top of my bus like a sardine can (or spam, actually…I hate sardines).  Then, I could envision a long, green arm with long, pointed fingers and sharp claws reaching into the bus and snatching out one or two of the “darlings” like dill pickles out of a jar.  Now, before you get too upset with me,  I said to myself, “Oh, that would really be horrible!”  But then, in a moment of pity, I said to myself , “Their parents have probably had the same dream, poor folks.

God gave me the privilege of bringing up three beautiful girls.  I love kids, really I do; but there are some kids on this earth that can make even the most loving parent question whether or not the human race is worth continuing.  Now, I won’t go so far as to say that, though.  However, even though most of the kids on my bus are angels, if you do see a low-flying UFO…..well, do you know my route number?  Just kidding….REALLY.


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2 responses to “Bring On the Space Aliens…We Could Use Them

  1. Valerie Baker

    Oh my! Be careful out there – don’t let any of those children distract you!!

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